To be irritated by colleague constantly complimenting herself?

[foreverstardust]

I’ve just never known anything like it. Just today

“I’ve curled my hair, I think my hair looks so gorgeous when it’s curled”

“My exam is next week, I’m so academic and really good at exams”

“How did you think that call went?
…Good…

“Yeah I’m actually so good at making calls”

Aibu to just find it irritating, or should I find it more refreshing?

But isn't that interesting as a response? That someone complimenting herself, saying things that are, taken at face value, a sign of self-appreciation, must really be a sign she has low/fragile self-esteem -- why, though? Because no one could possibly be entirely sincere in paying herself compliments, especially aloud?

It would annoy me as a modest person although I had a colleague that used to do this and it was obviously a sign of incredible insecurity. Almost like she was trying to convince herself (and us) of how good she was at her job.

Yep

I do think it shows a certain social ineptitude.
In my experience, this sort of behaviour will be accompanied by selfishness (grabbing the best of everything for herself) supported by dishonesty to justify why she should get the best of everything.
It’s not the way genuinely confident people behave.

So, you are advocating that it is more normal to only want the mediocre of everything?

If you’re serious and not shit stirring, that’s pretty sad.

Typically I would agree v irritating but saw this woman speak recently and it opened my eyes a bit.

www.fuckbeinghumble.com

Your colleague might just be trying to do this in a really incompetent way 😂

We should all compliment each other more

Well, unpick that. Are you saying it’s social ineptitude because you perceive that ‘modest’ women, to use an expression from a pp, would be irritated by self-compliments, therefore the woman should fake self-deprecate, or just not say anything to make herself liked? How do you know someone has ‘quiet confidence’ — maybe they’re petrified but keeping schtum? And are you saying that the quietly confident should stand aside and allow other people to have the ‘best of everything’ — why?

Fair shares for all. I’m basing my answer on boastful people I’ve known. As I said earlier:
03/07/2024 22:43
“I once worked with someone like this. Unfortunately, there was a short interim period when she was in charge of work distribution amongst three people including herself. She worked on three urgent pieces of work while my colleague and I didn’t get a look in. When challenged she said senior management had insisted because she was the one with the skills. They really hadn’t.“
She was so unpopular with senior management, she ended up resigning and claiming unfair constructive dismissal. Her view of herself was totally unrealistic.

I’m also reminded of a particularly idle and useless history teacher I had who always sang his own praises (and also boasted about beating his children with a piece of skirting board).
On a social basis, I’m thinking of the person who picked up an entire plate of biscuits for herself when everyone was supposed to take one or two.

OK, getting back to the actual subject of the OP, she failed her last exam. This suggests her boasting isn’t based on a realistic assessment of her actual strengths. She’s deluding herself because she can’t face the reality. I would cringe to hear her self-delusion. Yes, boasting about things you aren’t actually good at is socially inept and annoying.

I know plenty of mediocre people of all colours, were I to chose to create a phrase 'mediocre non-white women' it would be just as valid as some slogan on the side of a mug designed to appeal to a certain group of people.

"You're so wonderful! I can't believe you're not President of the World!"

🤦🏻‍♀️