Page 7 | To be irritated by colleague constantly complimenting herself?

foreverstardust · 2024-07-02T19:31:56+00:00

I’ve just never known anything like it. Just today “I’ve curled my hair, I think my hair looks so gorgeous when it’s curled” “My exam is next week, I’m so academic and really good at exams” “How did you think that call went? …Good… “Yeah I’m actually so good at making calls” Aibu to just find it irritating, or should I find it more refreshing?

Poetnojo · 03/07/2024 20:02

Garlickest · 03/07/2024 00:14

No, she's citing a well-known phenomenon!

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No, she is citing a racist trope.
Hth

VK456 · 03/07/2024 20:04

I had a friend like this. Her cakes are the best in the county, her new potatoes are the best she’s ever tasted, she’s a brilliant driver, she’s amazing at training her dog. On and on and on ad nauseum. It drove me nuts and I was glad to put a couple of hundred miles between us.

Poetnojo · 03/07/2024 20:06

Kafkaesqued · 03/07/2024 09:58

Considering this is a women’s site, I’m delighted to see the sophistication of thought and female solidarity displayed by those cheering on the woman being mocked in the original post.

It makes me despair to see deep bucket of crabs syndrome on full display here.
It’s a mindset similar to the house slave who is happy to oppress the field slaves, in order to snatch a moment of power, not caring it’s to the detriment of both the self and the other.

What could we achieve by instead cheering on one another.
Any group of women who ever achieved anything together, understood they had to discard the bucket.

Unfortunately, some women are willing to do anything for a little bit of attention and the chance to feel good about themselves at someone else’s expense, even for a single fleeting moment.

I imagine the OP is very young, then at least there is hope for change.
Mockery is a sign of emotional immaturity or limited IQ.

Edited

"Unfortunately, some women are willing to do anything for a little bit of attention and the chance to feel good about themselves at someone else’s expense, even for a single fleeting moment."

Sounds exactly like the person being described in the OP

MMUmum · 03/07/2024 22:22

My mum used to say 'self praise is no reccommendation'😅 maybe you tell her that 😀

Toptops · 03/07/2024 22:28

I can see why you find her irritating but from a distance, I find her fascinating!

Thedayb4youcame · 03/07/2024 22:30

Janehasamane · 03/07/2024 11:38

I’m also dismayed about the posters wishing to rip her apart. Nothing worse than women attacking other women for having the temerity to be confident and proclaim it,

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Do you really think that someone saying “My exam is next week, I’m so academic and really good at exams” is what a genuinely confident person would say?

Thedayb4youcame · 03/07/2024 22:38

Liripipe · 02/07/2024 20:54

Hear hear.

Though on top of 'nice girls don't boast', Brits have a particular ingrained dislike of the tall poppy.

I remember when I first lived in rural England (not originally from the UK), being fascinated by the ritual conversation at the baby/toddler group I attended, which involved faux-self-deprecation and a pause for someone else to contradict it, followed by more faux-self-deprecation etc eg

'No, I won't have a biscuit -- I'm such a heifer!'
'You're not, you're TINY! Isn't she tiny?'
'Your top is lovely!'
'This old thing! Primark, about five years ago! And the buttons barely close, I'm like a WHALE!'
'You are not, if you turned sideways, you'd disappear!' etc etc

I think I'd have been charmed if someone came in and said 'I'm brilliant at exams, and I also have great hair.' But that person would have been shunned.

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@Liripipe you'll love this then. Scroll to 24:23 when Monique bumps into Sharon on a cigarette break.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8di9p9

Dailymotion

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8di9p9

katebushh · 03/07/2024 22:39

I don't thinking I'd mind it! Made me smile just reading it!

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 03/07/2024 22:43

I once worked with someone like this. Unfortunately, there was a short interim period when she was in charge of work distribution amongst three people including herself. She worked on three urgent pieces of work while my colleague and I didn’t get a look in. When challenged she said senior management had insisted because she was the one with the skills. They really hadn’t.

browneyes77 · 03/07/2024 23:13

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/07/2024 20:35

That’s hilarious. Like a character from a sketch show.

It’s giving Amanda from Friends 🤣🤣

”Can you believe it? I’ve never had any professional dance training!”

Illegally18 · 03/07/2024 23:22

Liripipe · 02/07/2024 20:54

Hear hear.

Though on top of 'nice girls don't boast', Brits have a particular ingrained dislike of the tall poppy.

I remember when I first lived in rural England (not originally from the UK), being fascinated by the ritual conversation at the baby/toddler group I attended, which involved faux-self-deprecation and a pause for someone else to contradict it, followed by more faux-self-deprecation etc eg

'No, I won't have a biscuit -- I'm such a heifer!'
'You're not, you're TINY! Isn't she tiny?'
'Your top is lovely!'
'This old thing! Primark, about five years ago! And the buttons barely close, I'm like a WHALE!'
'You are not, if you turned sideways, you'd disappear!' etc etc

I think I'd have been charmed if someone came in and said 'I'm brilliant at exams, and I also have great hair.' But that person would have been shunned.

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I now what you mean...

SOxon · 03/07/2024 23:29

MMUmum · 03/07/2024 22:22

My mum used to say 'self praise is no reccommendation'😅 maybe you tell her that 😀

and mine would say “she is full of herself!”

JudgeJ · 03/07/2024 23:31

bridgetreilly · 02/07/2024 21:02

Just pretend she’s a mediocre white man and it will seem completely normal.

No other colours allowed?? Are only white men mediocre?

OhcantthInkofaname · 03/07/2024 23:35

You could tell her that you are very adept at holding your tongue when you feel the need. Nobody is better.

JudgeJ · 03/07/2024 23:36

Noseybookworm · 02/07/2024 23:27

I'd be tempted to say 'Not that you're blowing your own trumpet or anything!' and laugh 😂

I'd be saying 'Really? You think so?' and walk away.

Kneidlach · 04/07/2024 08:26

JudgeJ · 03/07/2024 23:31

No other colours allowed?? Are only white men mediocre?

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The poster is quoting an established saying. Essentially that those who are from the most privileged groups in our society (white, male) generally have a higher level of confidence (whether deserved or not) then those from other groups. And that they are rarely called out on this, and in fact are often promoted over people from other groups who possess the same level of ability.

Gilbertwasawuss · 04/07/2024 08:28

I think its bloody wonderful.

Society tries to keep women small... we shouldn't do it to one another.

Start doing it yourself. You might find it really positive

JudgeJ · 04/07/2024 11:18

Kneidlach · 04/07/2024 08:26

The poster is quoting an established saying. Essentially that those who are from the most privileged groups in our society (white, male) generally have a higher level of confidence (whether deserved or not) then those from other groups. And that they are rarely called out on this, and in fact are often promoted over people from other groups who possess the same level of ability.

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Ha, how very convenient! You make a racist comment, ie making a derogatory comment by reference to someone's colour, and the create a definition to 'justify' it. MN at its best.

unhappywskid · 04/07/2024 17:08

Has anyone seen that episode of Friends where Monica and Phoebe reconnect with an old "friend" Amanda, who was exactly like that? She'd say things like: "I'm not even wearing any perfume, that's my natural scent", or "look at my abs, and I don't exercise at all (in a fake British accent she "picked up" while living in the UK)". She was hilarious. I bet your coworker has seen it and Amanda's vibe just rubbed off on her. 😅

unhappywskid · 04/07/2024 17:08

BTW, I'd find it annoying too, no doubt.

Liripipe · 04/07/2024 17:14

JudgeJ · 04/07/2024 11:18

Ha, how very convenient! You make a racist comment, ie making a derogatory comment by reference to someone's colour, and the create a definition to 'justify' it. MN at its best.

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It's not that poster's fault that you're unaware of a well-known saying about the unshakable confidence of the mediocre white man -- she didn't invent it. It's a response to the gendered/racial nature of impostor syndrome that went viral.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-08-15/carry-yourself-with-the-confidence-of-a-mediocre-white-man/7725068

To be irritated by colleague constantly complimenting herself?

Floogal · 04/07/2024 17:18

People keep going on about Friends. But what about that episode of Derek? When Hannah's old school 'friend' constantly boasts about how successful she is. Even her elderly mum gets sick of it.

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 04/07/2024 17:29

Gilbertwasawuss · 04/07/2024 08:28

I think its bloody wonderful.

Society tries to keep women small... we shouldn't do it to one another.

Start doing it yourself. You might find it really positive

It sounds like fragile self-esteem to me.

Soukmyfalafel · 04/07/2024 17:48

Easily fixed by "oh......really? Well that's er, nice"

Soukmyfalafel · 04/07/2024 17:51

Or next time you are next to her cubicle in the bogs you could always shout "and you can add being a fabulous shitter to your very long list of achievements too it seems...."