To be irritated by colleague constantly complimenting herself?

[foreverstardust]

I’ve just never known anything like it. Just today

“I’ve curled my hair, I think my hair looks so gorgeous when it’s curled”

“My exam is next week, I’m so academic and really good at exams”

“How did you think that call went?
…Good…

“Yeah I’m actually so good at making calls”

Aibu to just find it irritating, or should I find it more refreshing?

Good for her. Wish I was kinder to myself.

Sorry yes I was letting my imagination run away with itself! I was imagining colleagues getting ready e.g. for a work bash and so talking about their appearance (as described in the OP). I'm just interested in exploring the idea that complimenting yourself is fine if you are complimenting others too, and only becomes a problem if you are complimenting yourself while criticizing others.

Then be kinder to yourself, look in the mirror every morning and declare what a fucking warrior queen you are and blow yourself a kiss but you don't sit in an office full of adults and declare "I'm so good at making phone calls"! That sounds like something my dd4 would say!

Every time she says it, reply ”I’m so pleased for you”

I had a couple of these at my old job. It is so weird because I would find myself bigging them up as well! Like it would not be polite to join in? 🤣
We would talk endlessly about them and their tattoos, dog, skills, never anything about me. Never a nice word to say about anyone else besides themselves.
Eventually it was quite toxic for the environment because they would be telling the clients that they were the best, most talented people there (no exaggeration). So the clients would be uneasy working with anyone else because we weren't the top staff, because we didn't carry on telling them we were! Most of us were more qualified and capable than them!

Amen to this. There's only one thing worse than someone complimenting themselves in this way (not that I can think of an occasion where I heard anyone doing so), and that's the OTT "bashful" eyelash-fluttering "Oh stop it (flutter flutter) no I'm not (flutter)" response to a compliment from another person.

Why a white man?

Is she mates with “Statesmom” with her darling boy at an Ivy 🥴 The most odious mn’er I’ve ever read

She sounds exhausting to be around, but I suspect it's not for anyone but herself - you just happen to be her audience.
"Tell yourself in the mirror how wonderful you are" type thing , fake it to make it.

I know literally so many blokes like this (albeit slightly more subtle), generally people seem not to mind.

Even if she is wrong and terrible at exams or whatever, I'd probably find it interesting or possibly funny rather than aggrevating. Something to break up the tedium in an office.

My mother had a couple of comebacks.

1. Self praise is no recommendation.
2. Empty vessels make the most noise.

People blowing their own trumpet was showing off or big headed.

I'd be tempted to say 'Not that you're blowing your own trumpet or anything!' and laugh 😂

I live my life by motto no.2.

She sounds tedious, does she have anyother conversation other than herself?
Self praise is no recomendation.

Ooooh, this too.

If someone's over-pleased with themselves, you can just smile and nod. But you're right, the alternative... 😬

It’s unfortunate that some people never learn to have an internal thought process. It is also very irritating.

I'd be amused

We should all talk like this to ourselves (possibly not say it aloud).

Seconding saying “good for you” but do it in an accent like Hyacinth Bucket.

Self praise is no recommendation!

I read this post and imagined your colleague to be Jennifer Coolidge

She sounds like a breath of fresh air, I’d swap her for one of my non stop complaining colleagues in a heartbeat, this colleague sucks any goodness out of the day with their incessant moaning and complaining about the simplest things. We are all too polite to say anything to her, we just avoid spending one minute longer than we have to with her, lunch time comes and we scatter before we have to listen to her then as well. Honestly, she’s like water torture. We don’t understand how she doesn’t get that non stop whinging about the same things over and over again is the reason why she hasn’t got any friends, people can only tolerate that for so long before they are worn down to a nub.

Get back to me when you’ve had to deal with one of these badboys/girls day in and day out, your colleague would be a dream!

@Liripipe One of the ways I used to make my fellow students at uni was if they complimented me or something I was wearing, I'd deliberately say 'I know! :)'. I don't think I ever got a negative reaction, although that could have happened I suppose.

@badger2005
foreverstardust
Oh she tells me my faults to my face.

Shes repeatedly told me how choppy my hair looks, when she’s well aware I don’t like my hair at the moment.

She also saw an old photo of me and said “you look so different … you’ve got a chin”

Now I don’t think she’s jealous of me at all. But I still don’t get the need for the put downs.

I'd guess that this (criticizing others) is the real issue. I've made a habit of only saying positive things about my appearance in front of my dd (negative comments are limited to things like 'I don't think these are the right shoes for this skirt - I'm going to try my boots' etc). She hears so many women and girls around her putting themselves down that I am trying to model some self-love! But on the other hand I also throw around lots of compliments and positive comments about all other people too! as I think I read here on mumsnet (as said by a teenage boy if I remember right) we will have no body shaming in this house!*

OMG @badger2005 I read something similar here on mumnset about 20 years ago about giving yourself compliments in front of your children.

I did it all the time, I'd look in a mirror and say aloud "Oh my legs look great in these jeans" when inside I was cringing about a tiny bit of muffin fat.

Or "Wow my eyes look really blue and sparkly today"

I never made a negative comment about my face or my body within her hearing.

She has the best body confidence of anyone I know. I don't think I've ever heard her say a negative thing about herself. She's 19 now.

I don't give a shit if English people think she's cocky (she's not) but the tall Poppy syndrome in England is awful.

Some of the replies on here are heartbreaking. I would have no problem with a colleague saying her hair looked great today. Although your colleague OP does sound a bit deranged.

Blow your own trumpet, and bang your own drum, no one else will!!

She would make me laugh to be honest.