To be irritated by colleague constantly complimenting herself?

[foreverstardust]

I’ve just never known anything like it. Just today

“I’ve curled my hair, I think my hair looks so gorgeous when it’s curled”

“My exam is next week, I’m so academic and really good at exams”

“How did you think that call went?
…Good…

“Yeah I’m actually so good at making calls”

Aibu to just find it irritating, or should I find it more refreshing?

@Debbiehv You can’t switch the skin colour because said behaviour is unique to mediocre white men. No one else behaves as they do.

I’m also dismayed about the posters wishing to rip her apart. Nothing worse than women attacking other women for having the temerity to be confident and proclaim it,

I would be inclined to wind her up a bit;

"You really do look gorgeous with your hair curled"

"You really are soooo good at exams"

"You really are soooo good at making phone calls"

All said with a bright smile. Maybe she will notice the sarcastic undertones. If she's that deluded she will probably just take the compliments!

What the fuck is this bollocks?
I'm assuming you didn't read the rest of the OP's posts where she said that this pain in the arse colleague likes to make bitchy comments to her and put her down?

Sounds like a bigger bum than ten arses.

Are her self-compliements warranted? Not the personal ones about her hair, the professional ones.

For example is she actually not so good on calls, is there room for improvement?

If so then her line manager should speak to her.

Conplacency is the enemy of career progress.

Mockery is a sign of emotional immaturity or limited IQ.

What on earth is your source for this total bollocks?

Mockery is one of the core hominid behaviours. It's a form of peer-to-peer behaviour regulation.

Chimps & great apes do it, certain bird species do it.

WTAF?

Mockery can indeed be easily performed by a chimp and two trainees.

This wouldn't bother me, unless she was nasty about other people.

It is refreshing after all the self-deprecating women on MN who just say they hate confrontation and are people pleasers.

When I say that sort of stuff it isn’t “faux” it’s what I think. So don’t assume it’s put on.

There is also a happy middle ground between constantly putting yourself down, and being arrogant/delusional about your own strengths or abilities.

‘ self praise is no recommendation’ might shut her up

I have a friend who does this about her job and how good she is at it and also about folk always fancying her. She is in her mid 50s and both of her sons friends (late teens & early 20s) apparently all think she is a MILF and really like her.
I am not confident about myself at all so find it extremely uncomfortable to listen to. I just never know what to say during it all 🙈

Just tilt your head slightly in a rather condescending manner and repeat back what she says as you would to a child.
“You’re brilliant at answering the phone? That’s lovely”.

She is nasty about other people.

Maybe read the thread

This really made me laugh. I’ve just finished a day of work where I had to constantly bite my tongue at a mediocre white male colleague who basically told me in about five different ways how good at his job he is. When based on what I actually know by working alongside him - he’s mediocre at best.

I think ‘show don’t tell’ is generally a much more classy approach.

Yes, this is what makes it so jarring. There’s a world of difference between not putting yourself down/being confident and just, apropos of nothing, boasting.

it’s usually insecurity or no one praising them/having praised them so they do it themselves. Have two at work, one make and one female, both quite awkward characters who are in my opinion deeply insecure.

@foreverstardust Self praise is no praise.

Try saying:
Did your trumpeter die, dear?

The only thing worse than this is colleagues bragging about their kids. I’ve a colleague who is always talking about how clever her son is, how he is gifted at maths, how he always gets over 80 percent in tests , how her other son is definitely going to do veterinary or medicine because he is so academically brilliant it would be no challenge. It bores me to tears listening to it .

Just looked up 'crabs in a bucket' - love it, and yes sums up what I felt on reading this thread. I think the mistake the 'boastful' person is just that they seem to be pushing other crabs back down further, when ideally they would be helping them also climb out of the bucket. By which I mean, the person complimenting themselves should also compliment others or at least not criticize them. But that's not to say anything against their being 'boastful' themselves.

Maybe don’t make assumptions and get triggered.

I did read it, I don’t think calling someone’s new haircut ‘choppy’ is necessarily nasty, just a bit blunt and honest given OP thinks the same herself.

But you do you, hun.

Honestly, I find it refreshing when women don't put themselves down. Then again, the few women I work with who admit to being good at something are more than good, they're brilliant. I also work with quite a few women who are constantly trying to improve but will give everything a go and learn from it. Those are the one who leave me (and my insecurities) with my mouth hanging open.

Oh dear god, she sounds like Donald Trump! You have my sympathies OP. That would drive me bonkers.

Next time she says how lovely her hair is, maybe ask her to show you how to do yours. Or if it's how good she is at X, you say, 'Oh how wonderful! Please show me!' and keep reminding her how keen you are to learn. Ask her for every trivial detail every time. And don't quite grasp it the first time she explains. 'Ooh, tell me again, I'm not as clever as you!'
It could develop into an entertaining pastime. You're not mocking her or being snide, you really want to know all those little secrets.

sounds like my ex husband!

he told me loads of women were after him. And went on about how wonderful he was. How people were jealous of him for being good at football (he’s probably up to walking football now) how wonderful he was etc

it would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic