Don't Want To Bring Teens On Holiday

[Casacalida1]

Two DDs are 14 and 16 and I don't want to bring them. I fly out next week and return home the end of August. DH will fly out in August for three weeks. DH thinks I should leave them at home with him. Their behaviour is awful these days and they gang up on me and their younger brother. I just want to relax and not deal with the arguments. DH told them they would fly out with him which of course didn't go well. I really don't want to bring them but I know I will feel guilty leaving them at home and they will probably hate me even more than they do now.

Advice please.

Have a break. Your husband is right.

Well that’s a very long time for them to be at home on their own. If it was just a week then fair enough although it sounds like there’s a lot of backstory here….? What’s started it all?

I didn't read it as they're home alone - DH is at home too, joining the OP with the DD's in August
Have I got that right?

Absolutely. Darling tiny baby teenagers.

They've got 2 parents. Teens can be hard work however good a parent you are.

@TisTheSummerSeason ; they’re not all the same you know🙃. Not sure if you’re heard but teens can be difficult however you”parent” them.

I think your husband is right. Then you need to think about how you can rebuild your relationship. Teenage girls can be horrible but most of them improve! Maybe you need to divide and conquer? Also can your husband speak to them? Does he support you?

I think your DH is right, let them stay with him and you get a bit of peace. Hopefully, they might realise the consequences of their behaviour by missing out on part of the holiday.

@TisTheSummerSeason that's pretty mean. Do you have teenagers? I have three and one was extremely hard work at that age.

and Yes I think they need to be told that it’s a consequence of their behaviour. They’re old enough. Make sure you focus on the behaviour rather than on them as people.

Maybe missing a bit of holiday will teach them that their behaviour is unacceptable. Do it.

Yes DH will be home with them. DH is very supportive and he has told them that he has decided they are not going. They have spent their summers abroad with me for the last six years.

Most parents I know find teens of 14-18 very hard work. They can be rebellious, they think they know everything and parents are cretins whose only use is to feed and bankroll them. If they keep arguing with each other, with you and with younger brother then it would do them and you good to have a couple of weeks apart

Obviously leave them with Dh

If you fly out with them they will know they can do what the fuck they want as you won't fly them back

Dh can handle it for a few weeks and your youngest will get the attention they need

I cant think of any scenario where I'd want to fuck off from my kids for a month because of their behavior.....surely the better solution is to parent them and deal with their behavior?

Your DH made the offer. Accept with thanks.

So fathers can't parent?

Did I say that?

Those calling on you for being FB a bad parent - have you had two teenagers at the same time?!
take the break and enjoy it!! Do not feel guilty!

@Jamieie and others, FFS, its a delay of 2 weeks. Not selling them into bonded work for 5 years!

Gosh op, I'd take this opportunity and have a break. You sound like you need it. They are old enough now to understand consequences.

I find divide and conquer works best (mine argue constantly too), and helps build their relationship with me. Any way to work it that you have one for a week and then the other on their own for a week? Probably not logistically.

In any case that is a very long holiday / time away from their friends and home comforts, they might behave better if only away for a shorter time.

Do it op and don't you dare feel guilty.

@PollyPeachum no its a month.