By not telling my baby's dads gf he has cheated

[diamondinterior01]

So, when I was pregnant my then partner left me, wanting nothing to do with me or the baby, no explanation just stay out of my life!
Fast forward 9 months I'm flicking through facebook, I see him in a woman's profile pics I click on it and to my horror, see he has a girlfriend and THREE young children, one is 4 weeks younger than my son.
I messaged him and asked what the hell id
Going on, at first he said they wasn't together when we was (LIE) then he said, well, I never said I wasn't with anyone, what the hell, trying to get off on a technicality.
So my question is, should I just leave the situation alone and get on with my life or should I let his girlfriend know? I'm so torn, do I really want to blow up a poor innocent woman's life and three children's also?

Well if you don’t you are essentially denying your child 3 potential half siblings

I’d be tempted to say something as well but also sometimes it’s better to protect your peace and move on. If she was someone I knew I’d 100% say something. Sorry you’re in this situation

I'm just so torn as I will be ruining 4 peoples lives that haven't done anything wrong

She deserves to know he is a dirt bag.. Your dc can have a decent relationship if you put your heads together..

Also didn’t think of this when I commented. Your child does have 3 half siblings, I guess they should know really.

I don't know her, me and some of her family members have mutual friends though

I'd tell her.
She needs an STI check, apart from anything else.

I think he's clean as I had a load when I was pregnant because of usual symptoms

If you were her, would you want to know? I know I would.

And he has ruined their lives with his affair, not you!

These are half siblings so yes I'd contact her!!

I'd be casual about it, perhaps saying you noticed a photo of her with your ex and didn't realise he had other children other than the one you have together which would make them half siblings of your child.

See what she says...

I 100% would want to know, I've never thought of it as him ruining their lives and not me, you're right though

Absolutely you need to tell her. Wouldn't you rather know who your partner really was?

So sorry you were with such a useless man. Also you are not ruining anyone's life. Your ex did that when he cheated.

Won’t she know from the child maintenance coming out of their accounts?

I would want to know for sure, it's just the thought of turning their lives upside down
(Not him, I don't care about him)

Have you claimed CMS?

I'd imagine he'll be very clever when it comes to the child maintenance and maybe open a separate account or maybe they don't even have joint accounts

Yea I have put a claim in for child maintenance

There are ways and means.

Are you going to be claiming any financial support from him? That might bring matters to a head without actually having to tell her.

Her initial reaction might be more towards have a go at you, rather than him. So if you can avoid a direct conversation initially, it might be better for you and avoid any unpleasantness.

I cross posted with your update.

I really don't know how to go about it, I know I'd want to know if it was me. But there's nothing saying my son will be allowed to have his 3 half sisters in his life, they might both just want nothing to do with him, for her possibly out of embarrassment.
He also told me he doesn't have anything to do with his parents, but that's rubbish as they are in pics from the kids birthdays and Christmas etc

Do it . I was 44 when I found out I had another sibling. We missed so much time.

She has a 3 week old baby, I might wait until things aren't as new with the baby, I don't want to ruin the newborn stage for her or make it even more difficult for her to cope with the stress of a newborn baby

Was you upset you didn't know your half sibling?

Oh I'd screenshot and create a 3 way group chat just for his response. Fuck him. The way I see it, he sounds like the sort of piece of shit that won't be in his other children's life playing the doting dad until the kids are 18+ so I'd sleep soundly knowing I'd hurried it along and creared some stability for those kids as the mother will have the opportunity to make a decision to stay or leave based on the full facts. Fuck him.

Depending where you live, there's a good chance the kids will connect the dots at school if they go to the same one.

They won't go to the same schools. We live about 25 minutes apart. He is the spitting image of his dad though, annoyingly