Is there any point of losing weight?

[Thanksforreading]

So DD just turned 3, I’ve struggled with losing weight via c section since getting pregnant. Before pregnancy I was 50kg and I’m 5’3 tall, I’m now 76kg and struggling to eat less, I don’t eat unhealthy, but I follow meals with my toddler on three meals and two snacks. The issue is we would like another baby but DH wants me to lose the weight and be slimmer before we start trying at the end of this year. In my eyes I don’t believe I’m overweight, I just feel like I was too skinny before and he thinks that’s normal. I don’t know should I lose weight before trying for another baby or do that after the next baby? I just feel like it’s such a waste of effort if I’m going to put all the weight on again when pregnant.

Wow, I’m 5’3” and weigh just under 10 stone and wear a size 12/14. I think I’ll try M&S 🤗

I put on weight with my first baby and didn't lose it until I had my second baby. I wasn't in the right frame of mind before. I was exhausted and sleep deprived so eating more than usual. Once my second baby was over 6 months I was motivated to lose weight. He was sleeping well and I stopped breastfeeding then. It seemed like a good time to start losing weight.

Who does he think he is???
Tells you to lose weight because you look fat ???
In all seriousness if that's his attitude to you I would never be wanting another baby with him.
It sounds as though his love is conditional.
Some men justify looking for sex else where because their partner isn't as skinny as when they first met them. I'm not saying your DH is one of those men but making derogatory remarks about how you look is not a good sign.

If you’re a size 10 at 76kg, what on earth were you wearing at 50kg?! 26kg difference is a whole average 8ish(?) year old of extra weight!

I’m 5’7 and 65kg and wear size 14 from m and s
I dont have a large bust

i wonder if poster has a very small frame size

Well to be honest your weight and height put you at the high end if overweight. If you were to gain just a few pounds ut would put you into the obese category. I would want to try and lose at least a stone before another pregnancy.

I am 5'5 and 71kg I am a 14 in marks sometimes a 12 if it's a looser fit , but I look quite slim. I've always looked lighter than I actually weigh.

However not all that long ago I was nearly 105kg I lost weight for myself and my health. My dh said nothing. He tells me I have done fantastically and I look great but always says but I thought you liked great before too.

You really don't need someone making you feel like that.

DH wants me to lose the weight and be slimmer before we start trying at the end of this year.

Fuck that. If you feel you look ok, that is what matters. He can go fuck himself.

Maybe her husband is actually more informed than half the people on this thread and knows that being obese when pregnant isn't good for mother or baby. At the weight she is a gain of a couple of pounds will make her obese. Nothing to do with whether she looks okay.

Maybe her husband is actually more informed than half the people on this thread and knows that being obese when pregnant isn't good for mother or baby. At the weight she is a gain of a couple of pounds will make her obese. Nothing to do with whether she looks okay.

She said "he thinks I LOOK fat". Not "he thinks it would be better if I was a healthier weight before the next pregnancy".

If he's saying it for any reason other than a dickhead one, I'll eat my hat.

Thanks @ObliviousCoalmine I was about to answer the ill informed poster but you said it better than I could!

OP, I'm 5ft 3", 8st 12lbs (56 kg?) and I'm a size 10 in almost every shop, although admittedly I've never shopped at M&S.

Clothing size is irrelevant really, as is how your husband thinks you look.

What is important is your actual weight/BMI and that if you start your next pregnancy overweight, not only will you be likely to have much more to lose after it, it's probably not the best choice for your health or the baby's.

It's not a 'waste of effort' at all but ultimately it's your body and your choice.

Your DH is rude but you have gained 50% of your body weight since pregnancy so he's probably pictured you as the former slim person. I wonder what other posters would say if the roles were reversed? If DH has gained weight? From a health point of view it would make sense to lose a few lbs anyway.

I'm 5'8", 73kg and definitely overweight and wear size 12. We all carry weight differently. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Your husband is very unkind.

I'm 5'4 and was 11st in a size 10. I was a size 6 at 9st10lbs. I was constantly told to lose weight by apps at the time (based on BMI) but I put muscle on easily due to a connective tissue disorder. My calves and thighs were rock hard. I am now not that much heavier but really visibly fatter because I use a wheelchair and have lost muscle. My youngest is built the same as me and my partner says we have adamantium skeletons. I remember my friend going to give me a fireman's lift as a teenager and dropping me on my face because he didn't realise how heavy I was. I don't believe BMI or the scales to be a good indication of whether everyone needs to lose weight. For most people it's fine.

OP if you're a size 10 and your husband wants you to lose weight is there a chance that he's critical of your appearance in general? Mine was. As soon as I had one child he walked out of the ward and came back saying he thought "that* (my belly) would go down straight away. He left me when I put a lot of weight on during my second pregnancy. I like to think that me still being the same size (with no ill effects) is a big fuck you. Because now 10yrs later when his latest girlfriend eventually meets his kids' mum you can see the embarrassment on his face that he used to be with this fatty.

Yes darling there is. When he’s gone and you feel good about yourself again, you won’t give a shit what you eat or when. You won’t be sneaking snacks and your clothes will be strangely loose.

What's your waist size? I find that's more indicative of problems than BMI.

I wouldn't have another baby with such a pig of a man. My DH always tells me I'm gorgeous (I'm about the same weight as you although a few inches taller).

Op you should try to loose for your own benefit.
Loosing weight is easier said than done. And easier when you only have one child sapping your energy.

Your are too short for your weight.
BMI calculator puts you in bordering obese category
53kg was about right
Sorry, regardless of your DHs opinion, you are overweight.

I'm the same height at you.

50 kg is probably too skinny unless you're very athletic.

But 76 kg is overweight.

You want to be in the best health you can be for pregnancy. You will find it easier to carry the baby and recover if you are fit and well during pregnancy.

Could you drop the snacking and just eat three meals? See if that helps?

I think your dh is trying to tell you that he’s not happy with your weight.
Rude obviously.
There is no reason why you can’t be pregnant and lose excess weight.
My dsil, aided by the midwife, lost weight and was very healthy when she gave birth to my dn.

At that height and weight you're very overweight, so it would be a good idea to lose weight for your health.

There's also usually no reason to put that much weight on in pregnancy so it's not a waste of time to lose weight now.

Your DH is very rude and there's no excuse for that.

Nevertheless, there are health implications for mother and baby if overweight during pregnancy. Also, who's to say you won't put on the same amount of weight in a second pregnancy? If you put on another 25kg (and I think that's quite normal, I gained that much as did lots of friends) then afterwards you'll be at 100kg which probably won't be very comfortable or healthy for you.

You're objectively overweight so it wouldn't be a bad idea to lose a bit from a health point of view. However, personally I'd be reluctant to agree to losing any particular amount before having a baby. If it takes you longer than you'd hope and your age gap is bigger than you wanted, then how would you feel about that? You don't give your age, but age is an important factor in having a healthy pregnancy as well as weight, so consider that too (obviously you may be young enough it really doesn't matter).

Your DH needs to be supportive, not hectoring. He can help you lose weight (e.g. by cooking healthy meals, not eating snacks in front of you) by all means, but what did he think was going to happen to your six pack when you had a baby?!

25kg is a lot of weight to put on during pregnancy, that is almost 4 stone.