Is there any point of losing weight?

[Thanksforreading]

So DD just turned 3, I’ve struggled with losing weight via c section since getting pregnant. Before pregnancy I was 50kg and I’m 5’3 tall, I’m now 76kg and struggling to eat less, I don’t eat unhealthy, but I follow meals with my toddler on three meals and two snacks. The issue is we would like another baby but DH wants me to lose the weight and be slimmer before we start trying at the end of this year. In my eyes I don’t believe I’m overweight, I just feel like I was too skinny before and he thinks that’s normal. I don’t know should I lose weight before trying for another baby or do that after the next baby? I just feel like it’s such a waste of effort if I’m going to put all the weight on again when pregnant.

That one sentence does not indicate to me that he is more concerned with looks than health. With what other sense could he observe a change in her weight? There would only be the sense of touch otherwise. There is also no indicator that he meant to be hurtful.

Ah I see! I didn’t know who she was but having googled she does look big for a British or Irish size 10.

Edit- thank you for all the replies, I’ve got up to page five and a lot of people have mentioned the same few things-
I agree I’m overweight and BMI is high. I’ve booked pt lesson for tomorrow morning and will go from there, because I want a healthier pregnancy for the next at the end of this year.
So I’m 39 next week, I put on a lot of weight (actually went up to 87kg) during this last pregnancy, (I’ve had two babies but with the first I was super active after giving birth and lost all the weight after four months) with this baby who’s three years old now, I had a lot of bleeding from 6 weeks, and then a low and thin cervix so I was bedridden by 24weeks, gastrointestinal diabetes by 28weeks.
I was obsessed with the gym before lock down and was there 5 days a week.
My three meals and two snacks are fairly healthy, I cook 95% of my meals, fish and veggies or meat and veggies, snacks are fruits or jelly. I have potatoes or rice twice a week. My metabolism was always pretty slow and I feel non existent now.
Regarding my husband- he can be an absolute wanker at times, but he cares a lot for me and the girls, I guess he’s just worried if I’m not as fit as I can be the next pregnancy will take me through hell again.

But I think people still hear size 10 and think it's tiny. It's not. I've somehow managed to go from a size 14 at 18, to a size 10-12 in my 40s, even though i now have hips.There was nothing of me but boobs and bones at 18, but I was tall and in proportion. I remember wearing my mum's skirt to school in yr7. She was a 10. She was very slim.

<shrug> But that's how clothes fit. They fit a body with certain proportions. The body could be made of 100% lead or 100% feathers & fill the same volume in space & fit the same clothes... but mass would be different.

Volume determines "size" not mass.

Healthy isn't a clothes size. You are borderline obese.
I am not judging I was morbidly obese (with some jumper styles size 10 still fitting)
But you seem to be in denial.
Don't look at it as losing weight to have a baby. Look at it as getting healthy and eating the correct nutrition to have a baby.

@Thanksforreading thanks for the update :) It sounds like you've had a tough time and a lot in your life has changed.

If you feel you want to lose weight, then I'd suggest using https://cronometer.com/ or some other free app to track your eating for a week or so. Make sure you include all drinks as well as ime this is where a lot of hidden calories lie.

If nothing is working, then it could be worth getting checked out by your GP for any underlying health issues.

Hope you feel strong and healthy as you go into your next pregnancy. Best wishes!

A lot of this makes sense OP, you'll be ok, you know exactly how to have a healthy lifestyle and manage your health, good luck (but stop taking notice of clothes sizes!!)

That's crazy to me! I'm 5ft 3. At 11st I'd be in a 14. 9st 10 I'd be a 12! I'd be a 10 at about 9st and an 8 at 8st.

I wish you luck and success on your journey! I’ve currently just done 10k in steps today, I did 10k every day back in March for cancer research and I just stopped as I moved. Back to the gym tomorrow 🫣

This.

I'm that height and 72kg. I'm size 14 and am losing weight atm.

Its not a case of losing weight and putting it back on again, it's about putting even more weight on on top of already being overweight!

Yeah it's weird isn't it? Nobody believes me until I get on the scales. I'm like...denser than average. I never used to be able to tread water as a kid and would say that I don't float! It's because I have ehlers danlos syndrome. I don't know if this is true but I heard that muscle is built from getting micro-tears and healing of your tissue. If that's the case it would explain why I build muscle so easily. The EDS causes my tissue to tear very easily.

My mind is boggled: I'm 5 foot 9, 58 kgs and a size 10 in m and s trousers. In fact they can be a bit tight around the waist!

Well done @Thanksforreading . I remember back when in the 90s my flatmate had put a lot of weight on. She stopped taking the tube to work and walked ( probably 45 min each way). Still had regular meals, probably cut back on fat where possible, she got back to a healthy weight in a few months.

I’m 5ft 8, 69kg and in some clothes at M and S I’m an 8 but mostly a ten.

I find M and S (and sainsburys to be incredibly generous in their sizing).

Also this proves that weight does not equal size.

Oh, no, I believe you, I've come across such differences before. I always just think I have a petite frame so need to weigh less to look 'normal' if you know what I mean. That's interesting about ehlers danlos - wonder if it could be why you build muscle so easily.

Tell your DH that once he’s put his body through a pregnancy, a major abdominal operation, possibly months of breastfeeding, then, and only then should he have any opinion on your weight or looks. I’m angry for you!
Also, a few years ago when joined a slimming club (it was awful - don’t do it! It’s a whole other thread!). I’ve had 2 c-sections so obviously have ‘the apron’. I lost 2 and a half stone, but only barely lost one dress size. Others in the group who were the same height or shorter, who weighed the same or more, were 2 or 3 sizes smaller. Most of my weight is belly, and I’m broad across my back. Sometimes I wish my arse thighs and legs were bigger!!!

If your husband is worried about you having another c section and having a high bmi then I think that's understandable.

Maybe read the OP updates? If you did you would see that she has had a bit of a wakeup call and acknowledged that her husband had her health in mind after a difficult previous pregnancy. You don't need to be angry for her. There's nothing to be angry about.

It's well worth being healthy and strong going into a pregnancy.

I was slim and not unfit going into my first, but my fitness crashed in the can't-eat-due-to-nausea phase when I was too exhausted to move. I lost ¾ of a stone of fat and muscle and rapidly grew bump. From 4.5 months when food ceased to be totally repellant to the end of pregnancy I went from 8st 7 to 13st of bump, fluid and fat. I still couldn't move much because of SPD and was near housebound. After the birth weight of baby, placenta and excess fluids went in the first couple of weeks I was left with 2st of "me" weight. My muscular legs were thinner than usual though- I suspect a proportion of the weight (fat) gain was due to the metabolic effects of muscle loss.

I rebuilt fitness from walking 100m... ended up at a circuits class doing weights and hiit because the session was convenient but with hindsight it probably was the best thing I could do.

Second pregnancy was better. Fortunately less nausea. Being stronger and knowing more about SPD, I managed it better and kept moving much more. I ended up a stone lighter at the end compared to before and was less weak after the birth.

First time round, the complications that developed at the end of labour/ emcs put me in HDU afterwards. I couldn't get myself out of the chair by the bed, because it was a bariatric chair- the arms were far too wide to give me the leverage to lift my weakened body up! The increased risk of complications with obesity means that statistically it makes more sense to have bariatric furniture in HDU. Healthy weight patients are the minority (even taking pregnancy gains into account)

Long term, being fit and mobile and unencumbered by surplus bodyweight makes parenting easier and more fun. It's well worth being able to run around with your children, and it's good to be a healthy role model to them.

Don't underestimate walking. At one point in life when I was doing about 3 miles of walking a day I could easily loose weight by swapping full fat coke for diet.
Zero other changes to my rubbish diet.

I always say this! People on MN will say walking makes no difference to weight. I walk a lot every day and when I had to stop for 3 months due to injury I put on 12lbs. I was actually eating less than normal but still put on weight.

See, I'm still not sure walking does that much if you're already slim but not slim enough for your own liking. I had an injury that meant I couldn't run or go to the gym for months. I cut down on the nice things and, depressingly, found out that exercising does a lot less for me than trimming portions and not eating cake.

Not necessarily. I was at the low end of normal but not always menstruating regularly. I was advised to put on a few kilos before getting pregnant and as soon as I did it was like clockwork. So bmi was not an indicator of the ideal weight for me and it was far from a denial issue.

Everyone is different though. You might have slim hips but a thicker waist to make them tight around the middle .