When do you expect your children to move out?

[saidrick]

I am retiring soon and feel very tired and I'm looking forward to my retirement.
I have 2 early 20s and I quite like my privacy, I'm looking forward to slowing down but wonder when I will eventually have an empty house.
What's a reasonable age to expect them to fly the nest?
Is it just a case of let them stay as long as they like or do parents have an age they feel they've done their part?

Gosh ..I'd have all mine back tomorrow.. even at age 40 and 32 along with all Grandkids.
Luckily they only live 5 minutes from me.
Both were 22 when they moved out and in with partners.
Now Both single parents and very very happy.
Eldest Grandson is 19.
Daughter doesn't want any to move out.
I was 26 when l moved out.. been with him 10 years.. we were given an house from his Grandparents.

We're looking to move to a house with land and outbuildings we can convert into accommodation for DC if they need it. The older two 23 and 20 have pretty decent deposits saved but eldest is struggling to find a job in chosen field.

I first moved out at age 19 then was back and forth a bit until age 25. House shares, boyfriend etc.

My half brother is 54 and still lives with his mum.

DD finishes Uni next year and has already told me she is not coming home, her BF parents have two houses on a lot of land so they plan to go there. DS off to Uni this year but who knows if he will come back. My door will always be open to both but I would prefer them to become independent of me in adulthood. I love them both to bits but as adults I think they need to find their own way.

Mine moved out aged 18 and 19.

I left home at 19 ((90's) rented with bf for a couple of years, bought a house at 21, 100% mortgage.

Both my two went to uni . Eldest stayed on in her uni town for a year after finishing. Then went travelling for a year. She's moved back but currently saving for a House deposit. Plans to own a house by 25 .

Youngest is 21 just finished uni. Just got a job plans to live at home and save for a deposit. Hopes to own a house in next 3-4 years.

I'm twenty years off retirement age.

My four all went off to uni . Number one was away 5 years and has moved home . Number 2 has been away for 10 years but due to a relationship breakdown is now back home . Number 3 left at 18 and never moved back . Finally number 4 went to uni and came home with a partner and child who now all live with us !!! This is their home as far as we are concerned and always will be . They are mid 20s -early 30s

Still?!! Have they never left?! Jesus

I don't expect them to move out, we plan to instead!

Plan currently is that they can live here for uni and can rent out the other rooms in our family home as a house share splitting the profits 3 ways. They'll get about £1000pm each to supplement their income and be able to live rent free, so should be able to save hefty deposits, and we'll get a boost to our pension. Meanwhile, we'll move into our holiday home on the south coast.

My grandma has had at least one of her ‘kids’ living in the house at any given time. Now she’s starting to outlive them…

I moved out at 25 and tbh I loved living home in my 20s! Most of my friends did too.

The relationship and bond I had with my mam was wonderful (my dad worked away) and meant I could go to a local uni.

At 25 I moved to the city I was born in and when I had my youngest my parents moved up too.

I'm so pleased they did as we lost my mam a couple of years ago but my dad has his family support network here.

I hope my boys know that their home is always their home but I'll support them to find their own way in life.

Ds is almost 23 has two years left of University working on his masters. I’m assuming he’ll get a good job where he can support himself within a year of his masters; so about 26. However if he wants to save for a house down payment that would be fine…so I’m thinking by 28 or so?

Honestly, I would expect them both to move out after Uni and both to go “away” to Uni, possibly even overseas. Neither are really home birds and honestly, my view is that your twenties should be for doing stuff you don’t want your parents to k ow about. You’ve got the rest of your life to have clean pants and a mortgage.

I do mean it. They’re wonderful kids. I know they will leave eventually but if they want to stay they’re welcome.

As long as everyone is happy with the situation, it’s fine. The important thing is to realize that when you’re an adult, your parents don’t “have” to provide housing for you and if they do, you need to be respectful of their space and house rules.

Plus, circumstances change so no adult should assume that their parent will be able to house them indefinitely.

The most depressing thing about this is the number of parents who think their children's goal in their 20s should be to save up a deposite for a house. So they stay at their parental home through their 20s and into their 30s saving up. Dynamics of a family home and the parent child learned roles stay the same and the children sacrifice their 20s and 30s to meet some weird goal of being able to spend all their didposable income on a mortgage and house repairs until they are 60, whilst the parents think they are being supportive, but actually just perpepuating a dependency.
They need to leave home, rent, share, move to cheaper areas, travel, find out what they like and don't like in their 20s and 30s, not live with their mammy and daddy to save to buy a house.
And adult children can be completely independent in their 20s if they want to be, even in lower paid jobs, but it means a lower general standard of housing and disposable income than being at home. But that's the reality.

No, never moved out and I don’t think they ever will. She’s 71 and still does the cooking, cleaning and washing most days, they do some of the shopping and cook the odd meal but she does most of it. She still pays for the takeaways on the weekend, DH goes mad at them

My 30yr old and my 29yr old niece still living at home. Niece says she is never moving out, even though she’s got a boyfriend of 5yrs, they seem happy both living at home. Niece likes to spend her money on clothes and nights out and know she can’t do this if has own place. Lives in a cheap area too, so it’s not impossible for them to have their own places, but neither seem in a hurry

I’m 38 and have two kids and I have moved back into my parents home after leaving at 21. It’s only for 5 months (till start of aug now)

my parents have been very supportive of allowing us to move in with them, they have not downsized the family home, and my brother and I are welcome anytime if needed to stay.

So true and what about some space for the things us parents don't want our children to know about😁

It's really difficult these days and life isn't affordable for many young people. However I see my DD moving out as soon as she can - she's extremely independent.
I see DS staying home as long as he possibly can. He's very anxious and life's a bit of a struggle for him.

I understand this perspective but renting in the UK is notoriously unreliable. The council houses have gone in right to buy schemes (as my and DH’s grandparents lived in council house all their lives- didn’t buy though). So for all the best will in the world saving for a deposit and having your own home is the safest way to keep a roof over your head. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone in their 20’s could live independently, not have to worry about a house, and have more fun. It’s just not the way it works.

If your parents want to maintain a larger house and are happy for you to move in for a while, that’s great, @Thanksforreading .

Bit I’m sure you’d agree that at 38, you can’t “expect” parents to house you. My Dad sold the family home and moved into a smaller place after my Mum died (I was late 20’s) and he was perfectly entitled to do this. There’s nothing wrong with not providing housing for adult children.

I have two at home. It doesn't bother me when they move out. I'm single, no interest in changing that so not looking for "privacy". We have a decent size house and they're good company, pull their weight etc. I don't cook for them or do their washing. They're adults, they're capable of doing it themselves!

The one time recently I did have the house to myself for a couple of weeks I was bored stupid! 😂

Of course if/when they move out I will wave them off with a smile but I have no reasons to force them to leave.

I had quite a scary medical episode the other day which led to me passing out. So I was pretty glad someone was here!