WTF have we done buying this house

[hugebuyersremorse]

Currently having major house buying remorse and feel totally trapped

We completed today and we were really excited, feeling accomplished as first time buyers. We are mid 20s, newly married and expecting our first baby in a few months time. We have bought an ex-council house, 3 bedrooms with a modernised kitchen and large garden. Area is great and convenient; that plus the house size for the money was what drew us to the house. There was also 9 other offers!

We have another two weeks on our rental so the plan is to move across slowly. We’ve to view this afternoon and it is a total state. I can’t actually believe anyone could live like that, obviously they haven’t cleaned it since the second viewing a couple of months ago. Mess in every cupboard. Food at the bottom of the dishwasher. Dog hair in the fridge. Holes in every wall that need filling in from where pictures have been. Wallpaper peeling. They’ve taken the bannister off for some reason, it was there before? The shower is grouted with what looks like chewing gum, again wasn’t there before so has clearly been very recently replaced. Front door has a crack in it. Closes and locks, but big crack in it. Neither we or the surveyor noticed before so it is possible that it’s new. The garden is big and full of weeds that are probably about a metre tall. We always knew it would be a project but wow has it got out of hand these last few months. Crisp packets and wrappers strewn everywhere.

I know I am moaning and perhaps this is all very normal but I truly feel like despairing. We have worked really hard to get into a position to be able to buy this house. I have friends who are purchasing new builds and I feel jealous and think we should’ve gone for a much smaller new build. Maybe it would be small but at least there wouldn’t be any major work to do.

I feel like I can’t bear to part with our rental. A bit dramatic but maybe my hormones are playing a part. It’s a housing association rental so we have paid minimally and would have always been able to rent at a discount. It was a recent-ish build and although small, nothing here is our responsibility to fix. Why on earth would we move to a situation that costs us more for the sake of ‘ownership’. Let’s be real that we don’t really own it anyway, the bank does for the next 35 years (plus pocketing 5.2% interest thank you very much).

There is obviously a lot of work to be done, plus the added burden of paying more per month and having a gazillion repairs to do. We haven’t got many savings aside for repairs at all. I know this is far from ideal but we just needed to get on the property ladder and wanted to do it before baby.

Anyone I know who’s bought a house immediately celebrates it and moves in that day, instead we’re now paying for someone to deep clean it, looking for a gardener and trying to source grouting / roofer / new shower. I feel like we are never going to have any money & I naively hoped I’d be able to keep some savings back for maternity leave rather than plough what little we have left over into the house.

If you are reading this and thinking I’m naive, I understand that and have enough self awareness to know I probably am very much so. We perhaps should have scrutinised it a bit more but we were eager, and with hindsight, probably foolish.

What can I do to make best of this situation? I just want a rewind button but know the reality is we are stuck with it now :(

I will add we’ve been really kindly offered help to sort the garden from family. We will probably take them up on it, it’s really generous but definitely going to have to pay a professional to make inroads before as it’s just in such a state.

You've made a brilliant choice! Nothing like a good sound council house. Your family will be able to grow in it.
The trick is to get one room fixed first so you have one lovely place to relax while you attempt the next room. You'll get there!

Photograph it all as evidence and go back to your solicitor to advise you want to sue.

Congratulations on completing & sorry that the state it’s been left in.
After a good clean, it will start to feel more like home.

Good job you aren’t moving in today so have time to sort it out, even if it wasn’t what you were expecting.

Take photos of the meter readings & if funds permit I’d arrange a professional end of tenancy type clean while you fill the holes and reattach the bannister.

Once clean & holes filled, see if you can do any painting before you move your own furniture in.

It will get better.

Chuck any post they’ve forgotten to redirect into the bin, & hope karma meets them in their new place.

I can understand how disappointing that must feel, but it will all come right in the end. All totally fixable. Just a bit of extra hassle you didn't need.

If it's that bad I would leave it and ring solicitor first thing Monday morning, this is not normal.

What's up with the roof?

Poor you!!! What a horrible shock. It seems to be quite common unfortunately, I remember a post on here a while ago and so many people have had this happen. My parents moved into a bungalow downsizing from a big 3 bed. I helped them move and the state of the place! It stank, dog shit all over the garden, utterly filthy everywhere. Carpets were actually sticky. It wasn't immaculate when viewed but it certainly wasn't that level of disgusting. Obviously had just spent the final few months thinking they had to do nothing ever again cleaning wise. I spent the day ripping up carpet as it was unbearable and smelled so bad. 6 years on and it's absolutely lovely. To be honest after a VERY deep clean and poop scoop and garden strim within the week it was a hundred times better. You'll be absolutely fine. I'm sure it will be a lovely home soon.

Deep breath.

First of all, you haven’t been naive - how could you know they would do that damage and leave such a mess? You couldn’t have foreseen it. You’re being too hard on yourself.

Secondly, it’s all temporary - good clean and a tidy up and it’ll look completely different. The other stuff you can do bit by bit.

Lastly, remember all the reasons you bought it, as outlined in your post. Good, sensible decision-making and all those reasons haven’t gone away.

We've bought a very similar build and when we first moved in, it took me 3 months to begrudgingly like it.

We've managed to get it cleaned up as much as possible, ( which you can do over 2 weeks).

Thanks I suppose. I didn’t add my age to get people to use it as leverage to criticise the fact I’m complaining about my house purchase, I think I’m entitled to be disappointed the same way somebody in their 40s might be. Not really bothered about what other people do. I feel I have made a mistake. I added our age so if people think I sound a bit clueless, they have the context for why.

Make a list of what needs doing now and what can wait. Rome was not built in a day. New builds look shiny but are poor value compared to existing builds.

Stop looking at those god awful, cleaning reset/ kitchen organising// styling SM posts and get on with it.

This is just a section of it

Totally understand why you feel so upset, BUT actually, you've made a great purchase!!! All these thjngs can be fixed. Size and location can't. So you've done a really good thing here. And also, new build aren't without their problems. Grass isn't always greener x

It'll look so much better when it's deep cleaned. Take a breath and wait till after then. Before it is take lots of photographs as if things have been altered or damaged you can pursue with your solicitor.

The garden will look so much better once it's cleared. Take every offer of help you're offered.

It isn't all or nothing. Maybe you could extend the rental short term to give you a little space.

Congratulations. You've got a mix of hormones and buyers wobbles. All will be well

My first house was a fixer upper. What I didn't think would need fixer uppering was the fact the roof had been leaking between when I viewed and completed and the roof and bedroom ceiling had caved in. I cried.

I also fixed it up had 5 happy years there before getting a bigger house.
You'll be fine, take it one step at a time 👍🏼

It'll be fine. I've been there. You can clean it and it'll immediately feel better once your stuff is in it.

Your solicitors won't do anything about it being dirty or having weeds so don't bother wasting your time with that. Did you know about the roof? It's it's a few slipped tiles should be a relatively quick fix.

You get used to it op! It'll be worth it.

I’ve bought plenty of homes like this. Clear everything out. Scrub it with hot water, a biological washing powder and bleach. It’s shocking what filth is there. As you are pregnant you should not be doing this type of cleaning. Get family over to help your husband.

For major issues like the roof, that’s a call to the solicitor. I always have done an inspection of the property 2 days before completion. If I see something I get it dealt with before any money is paid. It’s not common in the UK and owners have been funny with me but I’ve been burned too many times.

You’re a home owner. I’m desperate to own a house and I’m 47, I’ve got a deposit but need to wait until I can move out of Surrey (2yrs when youngest goes to Uni). You can sort it out slowly, lower your expectations and think that compared to so many others you’re very privileged. That’s not having a go at you, I can understand that feeling of pressure of all the stuff that needs doing, but make a list, and prioritise. One room at a time, not all homes are Instagram ready.

an inspection of the property 2 days before completion. If I see something I get it dealt with before any money is paid.
That is a GREAT idea.

We had a similar situation. Cat poo in several of the bedrooms (and worse, the cat left behind too when we already had our own), son had moved in after parent had died and smoked in the rooms and it stunk. Cooker clearly not washed in a months if not years. And several problems with poor DIY, missing roof tiles, badly fitted windows etc. Also pregnant at the time.

I felt the same as you initially but it does get better. You fix the immediate problems, you fill the holes and give a fresh coat of paint and sort the rest as when you can. This is your home to do whatever you please with and all this crap will be a distance memory in a couple of years. We’ve only just (after 7 years here) sorted things like the rewire, reroofing, plastering etc and it feels much nicer now, but we have had a happy 7 years here and all the stuff we think about when moving in is just a dinner party story now.

Mess is annoying but can be cleaned up.
But if the vendors have caused structural damage since you bought the house, then you need to see a solicitor.

Get a cleaning company in to do a moving day deep clean. Then you won't have to deal with the mess and dirt, and can focus on the DIY issues.

Honestly in 6 months it'll be your home and you won't think about 99% of the horrible stuff you're worrying about right now.

We moved into an ex-b&b which had been left like a shithole and I cried so much! Within - few months it was just fine.

Garden wise, you can really get through the overgrowth quickly with a heavy duty strimmer (you can hire one for the family that help). I had a bloody brilliant time, so satisfying and speedy. Once it's clear it will be easier to see what needs doing and if anything decent is hiding under the weeds (plants wise). The roof doesn't look anything too awful (is that brand new or just missed by the surveyor?). It's a pain in the arse but it'll be ok. I'd say get that deep clean booked and from there take it a room at a time. Get your room/nursery done as you are pregnant and will need somewhere nice to be. You've got a house! It IS a good day, even with the unexpected filth. Very best of luck.

Stand still - take a deep breath - relax!

My OH and I were in just this situation many moons ago when we moved into our first bought home. I was near giving birth, the house needed lots doing to it and we were gasping in shock that we had had the reckless desire to own our own home! - we thought we must have been mad!

You WILL get it how you want it I promise you, but it will take a little bit of time. Don't panic!

I know it is horrible when the vendor leaves a house in a bit of a state, but your surveyor will have made sure it was structurally sound, and the problems you face are mainly cosmetic. Getting into your first home is a slow process during which the excitement builds up so that any disappointments are magnified.

You have both made a sound decision. You have invested in an asset that will rise in value, you have secured a home big enough for your family, and have acquired a garden where your children can run about and play (not the sort of postage stamp that you often get with a new build) - you have no idea what an asset that is until you have children under your feet!

Congratulations on acquiring your first home together - it will all be fine before you know it.