WTF have we done buying this house

[hugebuyersremorse]

Currently having major house buying remorse and feel totally trapped

We completed today and we were really excited, feeling accomplished as first time buyers. We are mid 20s, newly married and expecting our first baby in a few months time. We have bought an ex-council house, 3 bedrooms with a modernised kitchen and large garden. Area is great and convenient; that plus the house size for the money was what drew us to the house. There was also 9 other offers!

We have another two weeks on our rental so the plan is to move across slowly. We’ve to view this afternoon and it is a total state. I can’t actually believe anyone could live like that, obviously they haven’t cleaned it since the second viewing a couple of months ago. Mess in every cupboard. Food at the bottom of the dishwasher. Dog hair in the fridge. Holes in every wall that need filling in from where pictures have been. Wallpaper peeling. They’ve taken the bannister off for some reason, it was there before? The shower is grouted with what looks like chewing gum, again wasn’t there before so has clearly been very recently replaced. Front door has a crack in it. Closes and locks, but big crack in it. Neither we or the surveyor noticed before so it is possible that it’s new. The garden is big and full of weeds that are probably about a metre tall. We always knew it would be a project but wow has it got out of hand these last few months. Crisp packets and wrappers strewn everywhere.

I know I am moaning and perhaps this is all very normal but I truly feel like despairing. We have worked really hard to get into a position to be able to buy this house. I have friends who are purchasing new builds and I feel jealous and think we should’ve gone for a much smaller new build. Maybe it would be small but at least there wouldn’t be any major work to do.

I feel like I can’t bear to part with our rental. A bit dramatic but maybe my hormones are playing a part. It’s a housing association rental so we have paid minimally and would have always been able to rent at a discount. It was a recent-ish build and although small, nothing here is our responsibility to fix. Why on earth would we move to a situation that costs us more for the sake of ‘ownership’. Let’s be real that we don’t really own it anyway, the bank does for the next 35 years (plus pocketing 5.2% interest thank you very much).

There is obviously a lot of work to be done, plus the added burden of paying more per month and having a gazillion repairs to do. We haven’t got many savings aside for repairs at all. I know this is far from ideal but we just needed to get on the property ladder and wanted to do it before baby.

Anyone I know who’s bought a house immediately celebrates it and moves in that day, instead we’re now paying for someone to deep clean it, looking for a gardener and trying to source grouting / roofer / new shower. I feel like we are never going to have any money & I naively hoped I’d be able to keep some savings back for maternity leave rather than plough what little we have left over into the house.

If you are reading this and thinking I’m naive, I understand that and have enough self awareness to know I probably am very much so. We perhaps should have scrutinised it a bit more but we were eager, and with hindsight, probably foolish.

What can I do to make best of this situation? I just want a rewind button but know the reality is we are stuck with it now :(

This ! I remember when we moved in that we were puzzled about the bannister missing - they had removed all the light fittings as well, but the bannister seemed very odd. Then we realised that getting furniture around the top part of the stairs would be more difficult with the bannister where it was. Eventually found it in the equally overgrown garden and took the opportunity to have it stripped of the many layers of paint to reveal a lovely oak rail.

Yes, exactly, sold as seen and it wasn’t how it was seen. The estate agent (their photos of the property) and surveyor will be able to back this up. It’s not normal, but certainly not uncommon for people to sue if properties are not sold in the condition they were viewed.

Most of what you describe can be solved with a deep cleaning and take repairs one of the time. I think you made the right decision long term although it might not feel like that at the moment! We bought a small, recently modernised property a few years ago with the same mindset than your friends that it didn’t need much work… it became too small too quickly! We are now looking to upsize and were again in between a smaller and good looking property or a larger but with a 90’s decor, kitchen/bathrooms etc…guess which one we picked? As other said, size and location are the best assets a property can have.

Most of this sounds superficial and nothing a good scrub wouldn't fix. The bannister though, that is structural or a "fixture and fitting" and should have relayed with the sale. The sellers will need to pay for a replacement.

How awful OP. You won't regret your decision when you have it all sorted out. 💐

Haven't rtft but one of my pet hates is sellers leaving a house in a state. It's a truly despicable thing to do and I'm sorry for you. It's such a daunting day anyway but seeing all that unless I think anyone would despair. However, most of what you've described is fairly superficial. You could possibly sue them (aren't you meant to leave the house in a reasonable state, sounds like you'd be hard pressed to move in right now)but in the future this will all be forgotten and you'll make it your own. It'll be transformed just by a decent deep clean. Hang in there!

Take a deep breath. It will be fine. Honestly it will feel like your home soon enough.
I moved into my first purchase with my family in what the estate agent described as ‘the worst house’ he has ever sold - with only a few weeks before my due date. We turned it around and it became the best house on the street that other people then copied.
The house we are in now, the garden was in an absolute state with weeds, brambles waist high. I cleaned the kitchen for two days. Very slowly we are putting our own stamp on it.
It will all come good in time. A good clean, garden cleared and your own belongings will all help.

OP is entitled to move into a clean house, not one that trolls have just moved out of. She doesn't have to suck this up. 🙄

NRFT but as PP say, take pictures & send to your solicitor

The standard is to leave property ‘broom clean’ ie swept so you should not have to be dealing with rubbish

anything broken should have been fixed to how it was at viewing so they are v much in the wrong

they have your hard earned money and are frankly cheeky %%^%>s

ask your solicitor for help: I had rubbish left at mine & my solicitor was VERY happy to help deal with the previous owners for a resolution

Do what you can to clean up before moving in and accept all the help you can get.
It will be transformed and be a lovely family home.

Pregnancy aside you are a young couple in your 20s - why on earth are you paying for someone to clean and do the garden? To be honest you sound a bit wet that your partner can't get stuck in at least even if you can't

Most of us who did manage to buy in our 20s generally bought total wrecks like you perhaps think you have but are clearly from a generation used to a bit more hard graft

PS - DON’T START CLEANING UP!

congratulations on your new home

You're just having a wobble, that's all. Buying a house is huge! Having it left in a mess is disappointing but not insurmountable. You'd probably want to have it deep cleaned anyway before moving in.

Concentrate on the main areas, kitchen, bathroom, and your bedroom, so you have somewhere lovely to be with your baby. You're fortunate to have a couple of weeks before you have to move in.

We've bought two newbuilds. First was long before they came turnkey. We moved in on a cold December Friday, only to realise that there was no grate in the open fire, and it hadn't occurred to us that we'd need to order oil!! It was completely bare, nowhere painted and only the kitchen had vinyl tiles, no other floor coverings. We had to manage without a cooker for a couple of months (I am here to tell you that, yes, you can cook pork chops in a sandwich toaster!!)

Second time we managed to twist the builders' arms and got the keys before completion (the company would have gone ape if they had found out!) so we got walls painted and flooring down which made it a lot easier.

I had similar when I moved into my current house. The house was filthy, there was mould everywhere and a door with a broken window. We got a deep clean done and somebody to make the garden look better. Yes it was more cleanse but if made us feel better - particularly the clean. The whole situation knocked me for six, but seven months later it is beginning to feel
more like my house.

Good luck.

@hugebuyersremorse Huge congratulations at making the 100% correct choice to purchase your first home. Throughout the buyer process I think we all in a heightened state, running on adrenaline as it can be very stressful. Then the day comes when we complete and we get the keys - suddenly that adrenaline is gone and you are now homeowners, expecting roses around the door and everything to be perfect - sadly as you are finding out it doesn't always happen!

Try and look at the positives, as perverse as it may sound, by cleaning and repairing you know the house it as you would want it rather than how others have lived. I am the type of person that even if a house looked perfectly clean, I wouldn't be happy until I have cleaned it!

I would do the following:

Pay for a cleaner, it will be money worth spent.
The roof is a minor job, it is just a replacement of the bedding mortar.
Fill the holes in the walls yourself - for really easy way of doing it, buy ready mixed filler. Fill the hole, let in dry, sand it smooth - job done.

Repaint the house - even if not the colours you eventually will have but it will refresh it and make it more yours.
A higher cost I know but if the fridge and dishwasher are problems, buy new ones - it will make you feel better.
The bannister may have been removed, as others have said. If not, a new one is not a large cost.

In addition, contact your solicitor and ask them to contact the vendors solicitor about, especially the crack in the door, however be pragmatic about it - letters back and forth will cost you, there may not be any resolution, so the worse case scenario is you need to replace the door.

The majority of the people who buy, especially when younger, do not have large amounts of money readily available for repairs etc, but you do get there, the most difficult time is exactly where you are now, when you have spent all your money on deposits, solicitors, surveyors, mortgages and all the other costs associated with buying a house.

Try and get everything sorted, so the cleaning and garden especially, by the time you move in, then add your furniture, buy some fresh flowers and I guarantee the feelings you currently have will be gone - you will have your own home, which you will continue to make a family home.

Look at it another way.

You are lucky you have a couple of weeks. Most people don't have that chance, so have to clean as they go along, discover problems in the middle of their boxes, and it's a mess.

You are very unlucky with the dirt, but sadly, finding a general mess is common. When people pretend buying a property is a dream come true, they conveniently forget the amount of work required. Things leaking, problems that were hidden behind furniture before, and the list goes on.

Some people are just awful, removing all lightbulbs etc before they leave.

Your house will be cleaned by the time you move in, you can have lights that work, curtains, and within a couple of weeks you even have time to put a fresh coat of paint even before you redecorate properly.

It's worth it, the house is yours, you can do whatever you want in it, and the landlord won't sell and kick you out.

Best of luck

My DH is a bricklayer on new builds and honestly buying new doesn't mean much in terms of quality, it really doesn't, but you do pay a ridiculous amount more. They look shiny and nice... And they're invariably overlooked, with poor parking and a garden that rubble a few inches under the grass, plus endless snagging issues if you're unlucky. Space is such an incredible premium and well worth having.

It's common to feel regret/unsure when you buy. I'm 30s and just bought our first house, we were also renting at well below market value and now pay out twice as much as month for our mortgage plus a ton of responsibility. It's scary, plus culturally property is seen so much from a financial/investment perspective so it can feel like a mistake. But you've bought a decent size house in a nice area, and if you shift your perspective to considering the house as your home, your life, your future as opposed to a financial decision, I think you'll feel better. An expensive new build that's too small wouldn't have been a smart decision from either perspective.

I agree with PP try and get one room nice so you have somewhere to retreat. A good clean will be grim but feel really good (and feel like making your mark). Garden is a time of year thing, we've had loads of rain and sun and everything has gone mad. It'll get cut back and one day be lovely again.

Were they tenants who did that or the owner?

Either way, photograph everything and speak to your solicitor who dealt with the sale and tell them you want money back as they dramatically changed the quality of the property.

It’s crap now but it’ll be ok. We felt similar when we completed on our house and ended up living with family for 3 months while we sorted the new house out. Love it now.

I had this once, not quite as bad as yours, but enough to make me cry and refuse to move in on the first day. Me and my mum spent hours and hours cleaning so I at least knew it was clean, even if it still looked shabby afterwards. As pp have said, get one or two rooms liveable then work your way through the rest as and when. You’ll get there in the end and can put your own stamp on it as you go along.

I know how you feel, bought a house once and when we looked at it, it was immaculate no work needed at all. By the time we completed and arrived with the removal van it was clear they had done no cleaning since we looked. They had taken the wall lights and replaced them with just light bulbs sticking out of the wall the batteries in the smoke detectors were gone and they had cut off the light pulls in the bathrooms. The oven was horrible. I never really got over the disappointment and sold up about 9 months later. It was in a small village and the previous owners were still in contact with quite a few villagers, before I left I pretty much told anyone who would listen how scummy they had been and how filthy the house was - small revenge, made me feel a little better at the time. They hadn't really left it so bad that it was worth legal redress but it sounds like you should be able to get your solicitor to act for you. They shouldn't get away with it.

It's mostly cosmetic stuff, the garden can wait. Just clean up the mess, and start decorating. You'll be glad you bought it in 6 months. Don't regret buying renting even cheaply is just throwing money away. Presumably they had some awful tenants in before you completed.

My husband got to my house before I did on move in day and he called me at work and said the following about the house 'take off your rose tinted glasses and step on them'. And it was true, I got to the house and was shocked, it was a mess. Furnishings hide a number of sins. It took work but we are still in the same house 20 years later and love it. Hopefully ten years from now you will be telling someone the same story to reassure them it gets better. x

I know it won't fix everything. But I would look for an end of tenancy clean service and ask for the full works before moving in. Broken things can be dealt with later.

They are not entitled to take YOUR banisters because they are fixtures and would be included in the selling price of the house. I had a similar situation where the tenants in the house I was buying took the fireplace with them when moved out (in between exchange and completion) and my solicitor made the seller knock £300 off the price