WTF have we done buying this house

[hugebuyersremorse]

Currently having major house buying remorse and feel totally trapped

We completed today and we were really excited, feeling accomplished as first time buyers. We are mid 20s, newly married and expecting our first baby in a few months time. We have bought an ex-council house, 3 bedrooms with a modernised kitchen and large garden. Area is great and convenient; that plus the house size for the money was what drew us to the house. There was also 9 other offers!

We have another two weeks on our rental so the plan is to move across slowly. We’ve to view this afternoon and it is a total state. I can’t actually believe anyone could live like that, obviously they haven’t cleaned it since the second viewing a couple of months ago. Mess in every cupboard. Food at the bottom of the dishwasher. Dog hair in the fridge. Holes in every wall that need filling in from where pictures have been. Wallpaper peeling. They’ve taken the bannister off for some reason, it was there before? The shower is grouted with what looks like chewing gum, again wasn’t there before so has clearly been very recently replaced. Front door has a crack in it. Closes and locks, but big crack in it. Neither we or the surveyor noticed before so it is possible that it’s new. The garden is big and full of weeds that are probably about a metre tall. We always knew it would be a project but wow has it got out of hand these last few months. Crisp packets and wrappers strewn everywhere.

I know I am moaning and perhaps this is all very normal but I truly feel like despairing. We have worked really hard to get into a position to be able to buy this house. I have friends who are purchasing new builds and I feel jealous and think we should’ve gone for a much smaller new build. Maybe it would be small but at least there wouldn’t be any major work to do.

I feel like I can’t bear to part with our rental. A bit dramatic but maybe my hormones are playing a part. It’s a housing association rental so we have paid minimally and would have always been able to rent at a discount. It was a recent-ish build and although small, nothing here is our responsibility to fix. Why on earth would we move to a situation that costs us more for the sake of ‘ownership’. Let’s be real that we don’t really own it anyway, the bank does for the next 35 years (plus pocketing 5.2% interest thank you very much).

There is obviously a lot of work to be done, plus the added burden of paying more per month and having a gazillion repairs to do. We haven’t got many savings aside for repairs at all. I know this is far from ideal but we just needed to get on the property ladder and wanted to do it before baby.

Anyone I know who’s bought a house immediately celebrates it and moves in that day, instead we’re now paying for someone to deep clean it, looking for a gardener and trying to source grouting / roofer / new shower. I feel like we are never going to have any money & I naively hoped I’d be able to keep some savings back for maternity leave rather than plough what little we have left over into the house.

If you are reading this and thinking I’m naive, I understand that and have enough self awareness to know I probably am very much so. We perhaps should have scrutinised it a bit more but we were eager, and with hindsight, probably foolish.

What can I do to make best of this situation? I just want a rewind button but know the reality is we are stuck with it now :(

First thing I had to do was rip out all the carpet in first house, soaked with dog piss. That hadn’t been the case when I viewed it.

big hole in back of door, the tiles in the kitchen were vinyl floor tiles held up with blu tack….

take your family’s help to do the garden…look up how to grout and DIY what you can. Keep your savings.

itll get better!

These are minor things that you guys can fix. No serious structural damage
Congratulations on your house in mid twenties!!! You are very lucky to start the mortgage at this age.

It will be a bit overwhelming. This is natural as it's your first property you're buying. Don't worry. Dont compare to a new build, no point as this old council house will of sound construction. New builds aren't perfect. Some have massive construction issues.

If you have the finances to stay a little longer in your rental for a couple of weeks while you clean the new property, do it. Then go cleaning, hiring a carpet cleaner, and scrubbing top to bottom, as family to help. Even a quick paint of white on walls in one room before you move all your furniture in will make it fresher. It will make it feel so much nicer even to have one room sorted. The rest of the house can take time.

The roof picture looks like the tiles are OK. It could be just the mortar on the side, or whatever it's called, needs fixing. It could be a simple job. The tiles might be all fine. But as others have said, you could get it inspected before handing money over on the purchase.

Don't think the worst. Really, you've got to be a half glass full kind of person when buying. Nothing is perfect.

Lots of good advice here. Just breath.

I'm fairly sure that lead was banned in the early 90s which is 30+ years ago, you're probably safe, it will have been painted a few times since then.

Spending time in life being negative achieves nothing, and wallowing in it even less. It’s better to just get on; onwards and upwards.

Touching surfaces painted with lead paint won’t hurt you or your baby. You have to eat it - lead poisoning can happen when sanding or sawing through the wood, sending clouds of sawdust up which can be breathed in. And it takes a lot of lead to harm an adult. Also, if the lead paint is painted over with modern paint it’s perfectly safe, it encapsulates the older paint, so it’s only if you want to strip or cut the old paint that you should worry. As you’re pregnant you should make sure you’re never near sawdust with paint in it, it must all be cleaned up with water, so hoovered and mopped and woodwork and surrounding walls wiped with wet cloths. If there’s work being done that might create sawdust, get yourself a lead-rated face mask (you can buy them in b&q) if you have to be near it, and ideally stay away until the work is done and cleaned up. It doesn’t take long for lead dust to settle as it’s very heavy - not like plaster dust that hangs around for ages. Make sure any flaking paint is painted over/safely stripped before your baby is mobile, as toddlers might pull loose paint off and put it in their mouths.
(I did a very deep dive into lead paint last year after spending two days stripping paint off woodwork before thinking of testing it for lead!)

I haven't read the full thread but I just wanted to pop in and say I have had this feeling at first for every house I've ever bought. It's always an anticlimax after all the stress of a big purchase you've worked so hard for.
Honestly, it will be fine, hopefully having slept on it you'll be feeling a bit better today, but even if not you soon will do. It's good that you have your rental still so you can work on getting things straight before you actually move in, and have a nice bed to fall into at the end of each day! You'll get loads done in those two weeks.
Get stuck in on cleaning the important areas today, kitchen and bathroom for starters. It's likely to go better than you think and once you get started you'll whizz through.
Good luck and really well done! It will be a lovely home for you all xxxxxx

Thank you SO much. I can’t tell you how much this has eased my worried mind. Everything on the internet is very scary xx

I doubt there'd be lead paint in a modern-ish council house, it's more an issue with older houses. The council will have done lots of checks over the years on other things like possible asbestos, I'd imagine - privately owned houses are dodgier.

roof isnt major, just needs the cement replacing...my sister bought a house, it had tiny dim bulbs in every socket so could never really see it well....did say that carpets seemed nice...turns out there was about 8 layers of carpet all infested with cat and dog fleas and whole house was covered in dirt and grease...!

If you have £4-500 to spare get some professionals in.
Don’t know how big the garden is, but with experience, a couple of guys did a biggish relatively complex garden for 250. Stripped and cleared.
A couple of people to do the inside. Thorough deep clean.

I know it’s extra cash but you got it for a good price. It was also help your mindset and reduce your stress levels when you move in. And give you a better idea of what really needs doing.
And many congrats. A great thing to have done.

I haven’t read the whole thread but i just wanted to say that when i bought my first place in my 20s - they also left it in a state and the day I moved in I remember standing in the lounge crying as it was such a mess! I think your hormones will also be playing a part! Every time I have moved i have cleaned my house and left it nice and most people tend to do this BUT i have always found things i never noticed on viewings. There is ALWAYS more work to do than you think. Just so you know how you are feeling is not unusual and it will all work out… good luck!

My parents bought a place that makes yours sound like a 4* hotel.

it was disgusting.

Ordered a skip, gutted the place in a day.
all carpets, curtains, doors, kitchen cupboards etc.
It was my parents, sister, me and a friend.

Maybe you could ask if anyone wants some cash to help gut and clean the place.
you’ll be in control and save on getting cleaners/gardeners in.

We bought similar once. Three young children too. Piles of rotting cat food everywhere,dirty underpants,junk etc. we had no spare cash so had to do it ourselves..washing walls cupboards, etc with bleach . Various repairs needed to be done.It became a lovely home.
just clean it and put your love into it….youll be ok.

Well done for avoiding the new builds, they would have deprecated straight away. Make a list of everything that needs doing and work your way through it. Nothing is that desperate is it? Relax :)

This happened to us on our last purchase complete with poop covered mattress rolled up in the driveway. All you can do is get in there and give it some elbow grease

OP, your house sounds like a great buy for so many reasons, it’s just a shame the sellers have left it in such a state. It’s so horrible to move into someone else’s mess. When I bought my flat, there was a pair of dirty underwear and some debris left on the bedroom floor!

Houses always look terrible with all the furnishings removed - even if they’re clean. When you’ve patched the worst bits up, you’ll feel better. But it can take months for it to feel like home - loads of people go through that, you’re not alone!

You haven't made a mistake, yours was a canny buy.
But your seller should have removed all their possessions etc. Speak to your solicitor on monday

This. Accept all the help that's been offered. Get the kitchen and a bathroom clean and go from there. You have the rest of your lives to sort what will be, in time, a lovely house.

Poor you. Every time I have moved, I spent hours cleaning. Pride wouldn’t let me leave an unclean house and the houses I moved into were also immaculate, last one even left a bottle of champagne in fridge! Think you have just been unlucky. Think of what you can do to house to make it yours. If you have any spare money, get it professionally cleaned or I’m sure family members will help you. Just think by Christmas, it will be beautiful.

I wouldn't chuck the previous tenant's post - hand it to your solicitor as he may have the authority to open it. Wondering if they were just tenants of a Council selling off ? In which case you may have redress that way on the Council. Take lots of photos.

I would go back over the property information form supplied by the seller to see if any disputes with neighbours etc. as this might explain the crack in the front door - speak to your solicitor about that.

On a brighter note, if there were 9 other offers it must mean you are in an area highly sought after for schools etc. therefore the value of your house will only keep going up. Renting is always dead money - once you are on your feet and settled look to paying a bit extra off your mortgage monthly - most lenders now have on-line tools to show what the difference an extra payment can make.

With regards to the roof - that all depends on the type of survey you paid for. If it was the lowest price then doubt the roof would have been covered. If you went for a different survey you may have redress there.

In any case, you have most likely, a soon to be beautiful property in a highly sought after area - that in itself will make all the disappointments go away once you have settled in.

Massive achievement all round for you and your family.

This is what family are for , get your mums and aunts all In and do a deep clean, also help from the family for the garden once it’s had a deep clean then just do a list of what needs done and again ask for help. In a few years down the road you will laugh at this and be so please you in a house that has plenty of space, would bring up the roof problem with solicitor, but really don’t bother with the rest.

I completely feel your pain. We had six months between second viewing and completion and by the time we moved in the place had been allowed to get absolutely disgusting. Never seen filth like that which was in the cupboards. Rubbish left behind in every room. Manky old furniture that they couldn’t be bothered to dispose of. It looked like someone had been squatting in it. It looked clean and tidy when we viewed. They took odd things too. There was a wall light that had been removed. Nice fancy Light fixtures in living room had been removed and replaced with bog standard ones. I cried when we arrived. It’s the worst feeling ever. BUT we got there. This was two years ago and we love it now. It took me ages to get over it but it’s our home now. It does get better. We actually send photos of the state they left it in to the solicitors and estate agents. It was deemed unacceptable and they actually told the old owners to come back and clear the piles of rubbish they’d left or they’d be billers for the cost of having professionals do it. They sent a friend round on their behalf to clear all the crap away as I guess the were too embarrassed to face us. The friend was pleasant and did many dump runs with all the furniture and rubbish.

It's ALWAYS like that moving into a house without furniture, where you spot things you didn't notice before, and wonder what on earth to were thinking. I've moved house about 5 times now and felt that most times. I've cried about cupboard doors hanging off that at the time seemed like the biggest disaster known to man.

You will get this sorted. It will be fine. You've got a team of people helping you out and you know your hormones won't be like this forever. The best advice I can give is that once you get to reasonable level of clean then just focus on getting your tranklements out. Your favourite ornaments and photo frames. Your own cushions. That plant you rescued from B&Q that time. The nice lamp that makes everything look cosy. Once you get your own things around you it really does help you not notice the peeling wallpaper and cracked paint.

Trust me, you'll be ok. You have forever.

@hugebuyersremorse I’m glad this thread is helping! Can we see a pic of the front door crack? There is a paint called Frenchic Alfesco, and you can paint UPVC doors with it and they come up beautifully. just thinking you could probably fill the crack and paint and keep the money for another job?