WTF have we done buying this house

[hugebuyersremorse]

Currently having major house buying remorse and feel totally trapped

We completed today and we were really excited, feeling accomplished as first time buyers. We are mid 20s, newly married and expecting our first baby in a few months time. We have bought an ex-council house, 3 bedrooms with a modernised kitchen and large garden. Area is great and convenient; that plus the house size for the money was what drew us to the house. There was also 9 other offers!

We have another two weeks on our rental so the plan is to move across slowly. We’ve to view this afternoon and it is a total state. I can’t actually believe anyone could live like that, obviously they haven’t cleaned it since the second viewing a couple of months ago. Mess in every cupboard. Food at the bottom of the dishwasher. Dog hair in the fridge. Holes in every wall that need filling in from where pictures have been. Wallpaper peeling. They’ve taken the bannister off for some reason, it was there before? The shower is grouted with what looks like chewing gum, again wasn’t there before so has clearly been very recently replaced. Front door has a crack in it. Closes and locks, but big crack in it. Neither we or the surveyor noticed before so it is possible that it’s new. The garden is big and full of weeds that are probably about a metre tall. We always knew it would be a project but wow has it got out of hand these last few months. Crisp packets and wrappers strewn everywhere.

I know I am moaning and perhaps this is all very normal but I truly feel like despairing. We have worked really hard to get into a position to be able to buy this house. I have friends who are purchasing new builds and I feel jealous and think we should’ve gone for a much smaller new build. Maybe it would be small but at least there wouldn’t be any major work to do.

I feel like I can’t bear to part with our rental. A bit dramatic but maybe my hormones are playing a part. It’s a housing association rental so we have paid minimally and would have always been able to rent at a discount. It was a recent-ish build and although small, nothing here is our responsibility to fix. Why on earth would we move to a situation that costs us more for the sake of ‘ownership’. Let’s be real that we don’t really own it anyway, the bank does for the next 35 years (plus pocketing 5.2% interest thank you very much).

There is obviously a lot of work to be done, plus the added burden of paying more per month and having a gazillion repairs to do. We haven’t got many savings aside for repairs at all. I know this is far from ideal but we just needed to get on the property ladder and wanted to do it before baby.

Anyone I know who’s bought a house immediately celebrates it and moves in that day, instead we’re now paying for someone to deep clean it, looking for a gardener and trying to source grouting / roofer / new shower. I feel like we are never going to have any money & I naively hoped I’d be able to keep some savings back for maternity leave rather than plough what little we have left over into the house.

If you are reading this and thinking I’m naive, I understand that and have enough self awareness to know I probably am very much so. We perhaps should have scrutinised it a bit more but we were eager, and with hindsight, probably foolish.

What can I do to make best of this situation? I just want a rewind button but know the reality is we are stuck with it now :(

Put a strimmer through the garden to take it down, the last couple of months everything has gone berserk. Pick up all the rubbish and clean yourself, you do not have to pay people for these tasks. It's a pain but just do it.

Why did you want yo move from your HA house?

Yes do this. Most of the stuff can be sorted over time but taking the bannister? Wtf?
Was the front door cracked when you viewed?

Oh and get yourself a litter picker from Amazon (£8.99). You can help with the wrappers without too much exertion or bending down.

I’m not sure they took it or if they just took it down

Some of the things you suggest paying to get done you could easily do yourself with pretty much no skills - the deep clean, tidying up the garden, filling in holes where pictures were, etc. So you're being a bit feeble in this respect.

To own property so we aren’t paying rent into retirement. For more space, as long term if we needed to move on it would cost extortionate amounts to rent a bigger house

Sympathies OP, it is such a disappointment for you, but remember it is mostly superficial, it still has the bones of a lovely house there. We bought our house when I was 6months pregnant with our second child. It had been empty for 6 years horrible pink paint everywhere and peeling wallpaper/scabby carpets. We spent the first few weeks just painting everything white emulsion. And some rooms stayed like that for months. We also had no heating except one storage heater and a coal fire. It was hard work, but worth it. We still live her 30 years late, my children have grown up and flown the nest and it is still my happy place.

Over the years we have extended, added bathrooms, sorted the garden and become very happy. It’s an old house so still has issues but a house becomes a home because of the people in it. I’d second the suggestions to get a cleaning team in and hire a brush cutter (heavy duty strummer) for the garden. I’m sure you’ll like it much more then. And check with the surveyor about the roof!

In a year you will be so happy in the house. It’s a great area. Council houses have good bones- definitely don’t envy friends in new builds, they can have massive issues!

Get the family round for a weekend, hire a few strimmers and builders waste bags. Cut the overgrowth down and chuck it in the bags- straight to the tip. Scrub the kitchen inside out and make that liveable, then the nursery. Decorate it if you want to, you will feel much better being prepared for baby and it will be a peaceful oasis to sit in when the rest of the house is overwhelming! If you can afford it get the carpets cleaned whilst the house is empty, we did that and so much easier than moving furniture about.

Divvy issues into three categories:

1. Failures by the surveyor. Assuming you had a full structural survey (if not then you'll need to work out whether issues were what the surveyor was paid to find), make a complaint to the surveyor for stuff like the roof, as that is their responsibility.

1. The buyer deliberately destroying or leaving things damaged, eg the crack in the front door, the missing bannister. Scrutinise the property pics, as it's easier if you have evidence, get quotes to replace/repair, then write to your solicitor with the quotes and the evidence.

1. Stuff that's not as perfect as you would want, eg dirt, nail holes. Unfortunately, that's kind of how everyone takes their house, no one ever cleans properly as they leave, and cleaning services know the seller paying the bill won't ever see what the cleaner leaves, and the buyer is unlikely to chase up. Unfortunately you'll probably have to live with this list.

Remember also buyer's remorse is really common and usually passes in a month or two.

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and advice. I am using the thanks button but also reading through it all slowly and taking it in- all really helpful and much much appreciated

Sue for what tho? Houses are sold as seen. It is very weird they've taken the bannister. Is it in a fixtures and fittings list?

Easy enough to replace in the grand scheme of things. People can be very strange tho.

People are truly disgusting. When we moved into our rented flat, the last occupants had left so much trash and broken furniture, but used tampons and sanitary towels tipped me over the edge.

when my mum moved into her first house she couldn’t work out what ah oily patch was on the wall, until she realised it’s where the bloke sat in bed with his greasy hair leaning on the wall.

That sounds stressful and no wonder you're having second thoughts! If there are major issues that were not declared I'd say talk to your solicitor. But general neglect and mess can be sorted fairly easily, even though it must seem overwhelming right now.

I think most people have to do this kind of work (and more) after buying a house, and new builds can need work too, or come with all kinds of problems that are only spotted after living there a while, so try not to compare.

Importantly it sounds like you haven't had to compromise on things like size and location. So you've done well! Congratulations and I hope you start feeling better about it all soon!

I agree!

Don't worry op! This reaction is totally normal! All the positive things you described about your house are still true. Deep breaths. Take it step by step. It will be ok.

Most of all, you will be building equity just by living there 💐

What do you do? You pull on some marigolds and start cleaning. If you have no money for repairs then I've no idea why you're going to pay someone to do something you can presumably do yourself, along with the family and friends who have kindly offered to help. Buy a cheap strimmer and book a tip slot for the garden. Regrouting is easy- scrape out the old grout, clean the surface and put some new grout on. Youtube is your friend. If any tiles are loose, stick them back down with tile adhesive before grouting.

It's fine to be disappointed but save your money for the big stuff like the roof.

When i moved in to my place it was as if it hadn't been cleaned in years. We had no idea it was that bad when we viewed it with all their stuff in hiding all the dirt. A few weeks hard graft to get it clean, a coat of paint, and its been a lovely home for the last 10 years.

Even new builds need money spent on them. 6 months of magnolia walls drives you up them. Lived in houses always look worse when all the furniture is removed. Have a good fettle so it’s clean to your standards and then prioritise which rooms to do first. Enjoy doing the baby’s room!

Congratulations!!

I moved into a house I bought alone, after a horrible separation, a 5 months pregnant. It was a Victorian terrace and found they’d left the little cellar completely full of crap, they’d also left stuff in the loft, furniture they didn’t want, hidden the fact that what I thought was a beautiful enamel bath was (under the bathmat) flaked and needed huge work, cupboards full of old food, it was soul destroying.

I got the solicitor to read the riot act over the cellar, I begged and pleaded favours - got a local cleaner to come and do a clean of hard floors and inside cupboards, then got someone else to rip out the manky carpets as I figured the boards were better than the stain riddled offerings.

in the end it did get gone, slowly. You will do the same too. And you can better decide what and how you want the place to be when you’ve spent time there.

What a nasty comment!

We are in a similar situation although we knew our new house needed work. But we had rotting plates in the dishwasher bins not emptied etc. thankfully we also didn’t need to move in straight away so I plan on cleaning the house top to bottom before we move in.
however if you’re struggling to do this could you get cleaners in and get everywhere cleaned ? Do you have anyone in the family good with DIY that could help do some bits before you move in ?
we plan on decorating most rooms and re plastering some walls etc and then once we are in will do bits and bobs as we go along. It will be our house and it will be worth the time to do it up and get it how we want it! Thats how I look at it

Actually OP this is kind of normal when moving to a previously occupied house.
As other PP have said, once the cleaning and gardening (some of which you could do yourselves) has been done, it should start to feel more like home.
After that, redecorate one room at a time until it's up to standard - this process is likely to take a couple of years, funds permitting.

Having once moved into a new build myself (an 'Executive' standard house), I can testify that this option isn't without it's issues. No grass in the back garden (we had to landscape it ourselves at our cost), no fences for 6 months, the driveway wasn't tarmacked for more than a year, neither was the roadway into the estate for another 3 years. Also numerous snagging issues, mainly plumbing and heating related, which took more two years to resolve and involved us having to take the builders to court to get redress and compensation for damaged flooring and furniture etc 😡

You get to put your own stamp on it. That's what you get to do. Yes, it will be gruelling and hard at times, but you just do it step by step.

Just remember you have shelter. It is yours regardless of the condition.

You might have friends and family who are happy for a house warming painting session? Or a garden weeding exercise? Put on the booze and a few snacks and you might have a great time.

Ultimately, just remember that it is yours. I bought at 25 and it was a complete shit hole, but we eventually got there and we are comfortable.

It sounds so similar to our first house purchase.
Our was less of a mess but the decor was horrendous and the kitchen a complete state.
It will be amazing. Just adjust your current expectations and start working out the quickest ways to make it better.
A deap clean from a company would be a good use of money. Or do you have a few family and friends to come in and help blitz it?
It will come right. Hopefully in a fortnight you’ll be feeling more positive about it.

agree with @Aintnosupermum and @Speedweed do what they said. take a deep breath you have a house you have work hard to get too. if can afford it get a cleaning company in before you move in to do a deep clean. then move in and do the rooms required to make life livable for me this be the bathroom do what you can do with your budget to get it nice. some people live like pigs and take no pride in their houses. but you can turn this around. it will feel like you're home in 6 months time