WTF have we done buying this house

[hugebuyersremorse]

Currently having major house buying remorse and feel totally trapped

We completed today and we were really excited, feeling accomplished as first time buyers. We are mid 20s, newly married and expecting our first baby in a few months time. We have bought an ex-council house, 3 bedrooms with a modernised kitchen and large garden. Area is great and convenient; that plus the house size for the money was what drew us to the house. There was also 9 other offers!

We have another two weeks on our rental so the plan is to move across slowly. We’ve to view this afternoon and it is a total state. I can’t actually believe anyone could live like that, obviously they haven’t cleaned it since the second viewing a couple of months ago. Mess in every cupboard. Food at the bottom of the dishwasher. Dog hair in the fridge. Holes in every wall that need filling in from where pictures have been. Wallpaper peeling. They’ve taken the bannister off for some reason, it was there before? The shower is grouted with what looks like chewing gum, again wasn’t there before so has clearly been very recently replaced. Front door has a crack in it. Closes and locks, but big crack in it. Neither we or the surveyor noticed before so it is possible that it’s new. The garden is big and full of weeds that are probably about a metre tall. We always knew it would be a project but wow has it got out of hand these last few months. Crisp packets and wrappers strewn everywhere.

I know I am moaning and perhaps this is all very normal but I truly feel like despairing. We have worked really hard to get into a position to be able to buy this house. I have friends who are purchasing new builds and I feel jealous and think we should’ve gone for a much smaller new build. Maybe it would be small but at least there wouldn’t be any major work to do.

I feel like I can’t bear to part with our rental. A bit dramatic but maybe my hormones are playing a part. It’s a housing association rental so we have paid minimally and would have always been able to rent at a discount. It was a recent-ish build and although small, nothing here is our responsibility to fix. Why on earth would we move to a situation that costs us more for the sake of ‘ownership’. Let’s be real that we don’t really own it anyway, the bank does for the next 35 years (plus pocketing 5.2% interest thank you very much).

There is obviously a lot of work to be done, plus the added burden of paying more per month and having a gazillion repairs to do. We haven’t got many savings aside for repairs at all. I know this is far from ideal but we just needed to get on the property ladder and wanted to do it before baby.

Anyone I know who’s bought a house immediately celebrates it and moves in that day, instead we’re now paying for someone to deep clean it, looking for a gardener and trying to source grouting / roofer / new shower. I feel like we are never going to have any money & I naively hoped I’d be able to keep some savings back for maternity leave rather than plough what little we have left over into the house.

If you are reading this and thinking I’m naive, I understand that and have enough self awareness to know I probably am very much so. We perhaps should have scrutinised it a bit more but we were eager, and with hindsight, probably foolish.

What can I do to make best of this situation? I just want a rewind button but know the reality is we are stuck with it now :(

Honestly every house we’ve bought we felt like this initially. My parents moved recently and felt the same. It was left really dirty and run down but after a couple of weeks they felt more at home. How you are feeling is normal.

It's so normal to feel this way buying your first place - even if everything is smooth as can be.
Buying can be such a long and uncertain process - I remember getting my keys after 8 months of mortgage issues, revaluations and 2 months of sleeping on a friend's floor and just feeling really deflated. Like 'is this it??'.

Having unexpected cleaning and repairs on top of that is going to feel rough.
But everything you've described sounds really manageable - and (unlike the new builds) you have something you can improve, make your own and add value to. All the best.

Breathe. You can’t turn the clock back so need to move forward even if slowly. Good that you haven’t got to move in today. Lots of photos of everything that is different from when you viewed. Contact solicitor on Monday for advice on any possible action. As others say get a deep clean then look round and prioritise what to do.
In a few years you will be able to joke about it but for now remind yourself of why you bought it!

In the nicest possible way...you are so lucky to be this young and to be a homeowner...but it's also normal to have a wobble after making such a big commitment 😊Its just superficial cleaning, it'll look great after. As a homeowner you'll need to be doing all this anyway so might as well start now! Take before and after photos and feel like smug buggers when you're done. About the garden, can your DH not do it? (Not you, given you right now given you are pregnant). I know everyone seems to think they need a gardener for gardening but that's not often necessary, you just need to do it in steps, it can take time, maybe buy new grass rolls from the garden centre, watch YouTube videos if you have to...you're more than capable. It's totally shit of the ex tenants to leave it like that (moving out party?) but it's soon fixed.

Ignore the previous poster OP. There will always be someone in a worse situation than you but it doesn’t mean you have to feel happy about every situation you find yourself in just because someone else is worse off.

I agree OP that it’s absolutely disgusting behaviour from the old owners. They ought to be ashamed! I’ve only ever bought one house but it was cleaned and a bottle of wine and a card left from previous owners.

There is unlikely to be much you can do to get money from them. Do as much as you can yourselves and fix it up as best you can to move into and then you can focus on making it lovely room by room.

Unfortunately this isn't too unusual OP.

I have yet to move into a property that didn't need some sort of major cleaning and tidying beforehand.

You have time. Get in and do a room at a time. Then move that rooms items in.

As for the money to be spent. Unfortunately this too goes with now being a home owner. Things needs fixing and replacing and now it's up to you to sort it out.

Do what you can yourself. You don't need to pay people to do this. Keep your funds for those things are are going to crop up, and they will I'm sorry to say.

I think your feeling is quite normal. You are now tied into something long term and expensive and it's not been left how you expected. It is a bit of a reality shock but I am quite sure in a short time you will feel differently.

@hugebuyersremorse back to solicitors you go then!!! fixtures and fittings must be left and that includes the bannister!!! did you get a full survey or just a valuation survey?? surveyor could be liable for missing faults like the roof and the door! was this a split up forcing the sale?

You are actually in a great position- no matter how it looks! You have two weeks where it’s empty and you can live in your rental to clean without you stuff being there, much easier. You can also put you own stamp on it. Getting an absolute hovel is really common, sadly a good clean on move out seems to be rare.
we were in this exact position with our first home, got the keys and said what have we done it’s a hell hole! We had one week in our rental. We took some emergency annual leave, got our parents over and bought 30l of white paint. In 7 days we scrubbed it top to bottom and painted white so all fresh. We gradually redecorated with colour later.
we’ve just moved to our second hell hole lol- this time no luxury of cross over and two kids in tow. Took me a month to get it clean doing bit by bit and just starting to decorate now, so you are in a great position!

It's ok OP. Someone has literally trashed your house, of course you're going to be upset. But it will be ok. A deep clean, some poly-filler and a livk of paint and it will look much better and start feeling like yours.

i cried when i went around the first house we bought. You get over it and start to improve things bit by bit
Having said that there was noting to "improve" some things like

1. The lino stuck to the kitchen walls
2. The 7 layers of carpet on the stairs making them a slope
3. the cooker that when you opened the oven had no back in it
4. the shower that electrocuted you

we survived and were in that house 25 years

we did not learn though and 3 years ago moved to a house that looked like a crime scene.
better diy skills now though!

Deep breath.

Book a cleaner for a deep clean.

Remember home ownership will always be miles better than renting.

Yes you can take photos and complain or threaten to sue via your solicitor but in the long term this is a small blip in the grand scheme of things.

It will take time but bit by bit you'll sort it.

Congratulations on buying your first house and at a young age too!

You don’t have to do everything at once and it sounds like you’re lucky that you’ve got family to help out with the overgrown garden. You’d be amazed at how quickly a garden can be transformed in a day if you’ve got a few hard working people on it.

You’ll add value to your house with everything you need to do and on a first property that’s a great investment.

I brought my ex out of the council house we brought together that needed doing up. I must of stripped half a forest in wall paper off the walls and its needed so much work doing and reorganizing, but it's in such a great location, the walls are solid and we have a great size garden - the front one was so big I turned in to a double drive. My two children see this as there home and I'm forever grateful we have enough bedrooms to go around plus a spare for my mum or my sister to stay in.

Please see past the mess, that is unpleasant but its fixable and then prioritise what needs doing. Obviously consult with your solicitor on what they said in your contract.

I agree with this. Just roll your sleeves up and get on with it. You will be able to clean it and clear the mess up in the next fortnight before you have to leave your rental.
Save your cash for work you can’t do yourselves, rather than wasting it on cleaning and gardening work.

I don't think this is normal.

The survey should have identified the state of the roof. If it didn't, sue the surveyor. I assume you had a full structural survey.

The contract agoukd have had a clause stipulating the house was handed over in the state it was viewed in and there shoukd have been a list of contents/condition. Every property I have ever bought since 1981 has had a clause in the contract for sale about it being handed over in a clean condition. From property two I stipulated a professional clean was required.

There will always be holes in walls vis a vis picture hooks. Bannisters should be left; front doors should be intact.

Get professional cleaners in even if you can't recoup the money. If you can't you must have used a bargain basement conveyancer.

How big is the garden. I can't imagine that large. A mower and strimmer should improve it within about six hours.

Get the kitchen and bathrooms clean, remove carpets, hire a sander and varnish the floorboards. A lick of white and cream paint will be swift and make a world of difference, as will cleaning the windows.

Take pictures of the house and send them to your solicitor. Anything that’s been damaged or taken they’ll have to pay for.

If you can, pay for a deep clean and then paint a couple of rooms and make them as nice as you can.

You’re on the ladder OP and it’ll be fine but I absolutely understand why it feels like a disappointment right now.

Stop, take a deep breath and let it sink in that you’re on the housing ladder. You’ve had a few surprises, most of them unwelcome, but there is NOTHING here that’s beyond your abilities to deal with.

DP and I bought a doer-upper many years ago. We knew there were issues, we just didn’t realise how many. My favourite was the surprise stair; the surprise being that if you stood on it during a rain shower, you’d get dripped on. Luckily, or otherwise, we only had serious rain when we’d been there three months and had begun adapting to the chaos. It was a lot, and we both had wobbles at times, but we gritted our teeth, and made the best of it. We were there for 22 years, and i think it will always be my favourite place to live. It was the right time to move, but I do still miss that lovely old house.

You mentioned new builds, and they are fine, but when there’s no work to be done, it’s easier not to make changes, so you’re living with someone else’s vision. This house is a fabulous opportunity - look on all the works as the green light to really put your stamp on the place and make it your own. And take plenty of photos, one day you’ll look back on today, and if not laugh, at least raise a smile.

Now crack a bottle of something nice, and enjoy the moment.

Why on earth would we move to a situation that costs us more for the sake of ‘ownership’. Let’s be real that we don’t really own it anyway, the bank does for the next 35 years (plus pocketing 5.2% interest thank you very much).

Because in 35 years (or less) you WILL own the house outright if you stay there, and you'll own a little bit more of it with each year and mortgage payment that you make as well. Stay in renting and you'll be making payments for someone else to own the property.

What can I do to make best of this situation?

Sit down, make a cup of decaf tea, have a take away.
Wake up tomorrow on a new day, refreshed.
Then you sit and make a list (with another cup of decaf tea) of the things you think need doing, while your other half/family/friends don rubber gloves and clean the new house and you can see what you've got to work with.

Take it one day at a time. Don't forget the house was lived in by someone else who is not you, so it's unlikely to be exactly the way you'd want it yet. There's time. Rome wasn't built in a day.

The thing I regret when we moved into our house is: we didn't whack up the quickest paint job just to freshen everything up (doesn't need to be perfect or your favourite colours at this point) and replacing the carpets. Wish I'd done those 2 things.

Congratulations on the new home and your pregnancy!

My BIL and SIL moved to a new house and the previous owner left them a bottle of wine- it was absolutely filthy we joked it should have been a bottle of bleach!!

Oops just read your OP and realise you said the bannister is missing and front door is cracked. In this instance I would write to solicitor to query this. However the general mess is a small issue.

I totally sympathise, this was me 3 weeks ago leaving my beautiful house and turning up to something that hadn't been cleaned for years, every corner stank of cat piss and the garden was an absolute state. Each room has taken at least 4 hours to scrub.

It gets better though. I promise once it is clean you will feel much better. Get friends and family to help or a professional cleaner in.

I still need to rip up a cat piss carpet but now things are clean and the grass is neat it doesn't feel anywhere near as overwhelming

Re: the bannister

These do sometimes have a removable section so you can get furniture in and out. Could this be what happened? Is the removable bit still there?

@hugebuyersremorse Can I suggest you repost this in the legal topic and get advice on what recourse you have for recovering costs for some of the damage? And also speak to your solicitor about it. Unless they said they were taking the banisters in the sellers pack, I’m pretty sure they are fixtures and fittings that the sellers are responsible for replacing.

It sounds like it’s going to be an amazing home though - congratulations.

Absolutely book a professional cleaner/team as the first thing you do. View it as an essential expense and get it done. You will immediately feel better about it. I once had to returf a garden before I could let my kids in it, it was full of dog shit. And worse than that, they had bins of it from attempts to clean it up and the bins had filled with rain water, totally rank. Accept the help with the garden and then you'll have a blank canvas to work with. It will pay off long term, you've made the right decision.