Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

It is not the job of parents to provide a safe space for a 26 year old man. If he was that bad she should have dropped him at A&E; otherwise leave him to sleep it off.

Your update on page nine just makes you sound worse!

If he hasn't got the money to make good his stupid, unacceptable and immature decisions then maybe he shouldn't waste money on alcohol.

BUT HE WASN'T SLEEPING IT OFF!! That was the point! She had to get rid of him because he was being vommy and wouldn't shut up drunken moaning when she had to be up before 6am - he'd already woken her up, he WASN'T SLEEPING, so it's not like she could go back to sleep (with a flat stinking of his drink-induced vomit). Jesus.

Good for her

she has self respect and boundaries

let’s see if he can keep up with her

you do not like and respect her, despise her even?

I really really hope the girlfriend finds this thread and works how enabling and misogynistic you are OP and she runs for the hills!!

The fact you worked from home to look after a hungover adult is very very telling of why he behaved badly towards the gf… he’s obviously grown up in a home where mummy/ wife babies men and allows bad drunken disgusting behaviour

Also telling that she came over in the evening to yours!!!

1. Your DS should have been waiting with flowers etc at hers apologising or
2. Why wasn’t he back in his own flat … still having mummy fix he boo boos …

Dear Girlfriend of mummas boy if you find this thread run don’t walk!!!

I really hope the GF dumps him before this man baby becomes her husband and OP becomes her MIL!

She is everything I hope my daughter grows up to be.

You are so deluded and unstable it has blown my mind.

Can you not see that you have instilled in him his sense of entitlement OP?

By her treating him like a god in the face of his lack of self control, which is what you have said you would do, she would be making herself 'lesser than' him.

She is putting his straight early on. Someone has to.

His behaviour is revolting.

YABVU
I’m astonished at your attitude to this eminently sensible young woman - hopefully she’ll see the light and walk (or run) away fast. She sounds the best thing that could happen to him and won’t take any rubbish from you or your ‘little man’.

The OP can’t be real. Who on earth genuinely thinks that a girlfriend (who lives separately) should take a day off work to care for a hungover boyfriend? Really?!

And the OP then WFH for the day to care for said 26 year old hungover adult son? Jesus wept.

@Chrisia Ok, I haven't read all the comments.

You really should read all the comments.

If they were to make a go of it, her trust fund money would be there to set them both up and benefit any children, who would be your grandchildren. It wouldn't be her private stash.

But goodness, I hope they don't! I hope she finds a lovely arts person in a badly-paid job that helps people, who would appreciate her, and runs a mile from entitled finance types.

Why should she miss a day off work because her short term boyfriend couldn’t be sensible with his drink and damaged her belongings ?

She did not ‘scrounge’ money off him. He damaged her property and absolutely should pay for it !
You keep mentioning the trust fund, are you jealous of her having that or hoping she stays with your son so he gets some of it.

And as for the suggestion she drop him off at A&E- words fail me. As if they haven't enough to deal with. She took him to a safe place.

I do think I must just be different, if it were me I'd have wanted to take the day off for someone I love (and did end up WFH for DS today) and wouldn't have taken DH to his parents ever

You're a doormat. She isn't.

@TiddlyCove it is when they mollycoddle said man ,treat him as a baby and expect others to do too. This is what they raised, this is what they have to deal with.

OP worked from home today to look after the poor ickle baby, and is annoyed the GF didn't take the day off to do it instead.

If your ds is going to behave like a dick then he will need to be expected to treated like a dick

good on the g/f for sending him home to mummy, not to an empty house if he keeps throwing up

No, this woman is a legend. What boundaries, I love it. Your son is a state ... Adults shouldn't be getting so wasted like that imo. Grow up. I'm wondering why he didn't go back to his own place?

I am probably 20 years older than the Gf and damn, I so wish I had her healthy boundaries and confidence in my 20s. I would not have ended up spending 20 years in an unhealthy relationship bending over backwards to keep an unmotivated, unappreciative and moody man happy.

Good on her, I hope I can raise my daughter to be like this.

She hadn't over reacted at all. If anything, she was right. I'd not out up with some drunk being sick all over my house and moaning at me. She was nice and took him back to you. I'd have just put him in the garden and left him.

You don't think A&E have enough to deal with already?

The GF in this situation is an inspiration for women and girls the world over.

If the gf ends the relationship, good on her. Glad to see 96% of people agreeing with her actions in a way.

She sounds amazing, knows her worth!

If he does not have the money to pay for the consequences of his actions perhaps he should be more careful. Why should she pay. It is irrelevant how much money she has. And in any case if she has millions as you suggest she would not need to work.

please take your rose tinted glasses off and see your son for what he is. And give his GF some support. No one agrees with you and indeed feel that you are responsible for the man he has become.

Taking a day off work to look after someone who has had too much to drink is pretty co-dependent behaviour with zero personal boundaries. so of course she shouldn’t have done that.

she should have dropped him off at his home. If I have read correctly his home is your house OP? In which case entirely appropriate.

I would also take the day off for my kid.
The difference, @Chrisia - you're his mummy, he’s your baby, you love him unconditionally.

He’s her boyfriend of 8 months, he shouted at her, threw up everywhere, and she’s wondering whether she’s got the ick. If she can get past this, he’s a lucky man as someone is giving him boundaries.

The state he was in last night, he could have choked on his vomit, got run over, committed a crime- and then all his hard work and cleverness would be for nothing. Getting messy drunk isn’t fun or clever, it’s irresponsible and dangerous.

Relationships are not about loving someone so much you let them walk all over you and put up with bad behaviour.