Dramatic response from sons GF

[Chrisia]

DS is 26, we live pretty close to him. This week he got the results or an exam he had sat for work, it is notoriously hard and he passed. Last night after work he went out with his colleagues to celebrate. Apparently he told his GF (doesn't live with her) that it wouldn't be a late one. The rest is what I've been told, but according to her she messaged him at midnight and told him to go home as she has work in the morning. He claims he didn't get this so went back to hers at 2am, waking her up. He then asked her to order food for him, she did but he was sick before it arrived so she told the delivery driver to eat it instead, he then apparently shouted at her for doing this.
Apparently he was sick on himself so she had to force him to shower.
This morning I got a call at 5.45am, from his GF, telling me she was bringing him to ours in a Taxi as "If he wanted to act like a teen he could come stay at home" and she had a workout class to go to. I asked why he couldn't just stay at hers and sleep it off while she was at work and she told me he had already been sick on the bedding, was being moany and she didn't want to leave him home alone.
DS came in, he was clearly in a state, so I got him to bed, he has been sick but not too bad. Also before she left she took his bank card out his pocket and said to me she would be using it for her taxi back (this girl has a trustfund and lives off her dad so this seems unfair!)
Now AIBU to think this a very dramatic response, no need to give the food away as he did want to eat it and she is meant to love him, could she really not have just let him sleep it off? DS is quite upset with her and I think he is right to be!

I’m wondering what planet you’re on….your son behaved disgracefully, absolutely disgracefully!

Yes but she didn’t send or take him home. She woke his Mum up and took him to her house. I got in to a state on a few occasions in my twenties, as I’m sure many did. Nobody ever took it upon themselves to deliver me to my parents house!

I think if the roles were reversed some comments would be different. If it's a one off then I think most of us will have overdone it at some point.

The disagreement was between those two, not sure why everyone thinks it's ok for the Mum to be dragged into it as if it's her fault. He could have went back to his own flat.

But from the OP it sounds like it was a one off celebratory event. I’m not disputing that he was out of order. Of course he was, but I still wouldn’t have taken him to his parents house when he doesn’t live there. Why involve his parents rather than just send him home.

I'm on team GF, this ones a keeper for sure, hopefully he will learn a lesson, and if that were my son I'd be sending him straight home via the flower shop

not sure why everyone thinks it's ok for the Mum to be dragged into it as if it's her fault.

I agree.
I think phoning his parents at 5.45am was too much. Phoning someone at that hour should only be in the case of real emergency or tragedy imho. Not fair to frighten people like that.

Obviously his behaviour was way out of order but 2 wrongs don't make a right.

I RTFT! It took me nearly four hours but I got there! I’m in the same place as I was at the beginning - this girl is 🦵🔚🥛!

The man is pathetic. If he had woken up mortified through his epic hangover, I would have felt for him. But the OP says he’s upset with how she treated him. Whut?
He made plans to stay with the GF, said he wouldn’t be late, made her wait up until midnight knowing she was going to be up at 0530 for a workout/full day of work, ignored her reasonable request that he go back to his houseshare, woke her up at 2am, made her order him food, threw up everywhere in her house, got nasty with her when she very sensibly cancelled the food order (as it would only make him worse), threw up all over himself so she had to shower him, threw up all over her bedsheets which she has to clean up, all while moaning ungratefully at her and then, on two hours sleep, she piles him in a taxi and drops him off at the parental home so she can get on with her day safe in the knowledge that he will be properly looked after (which might not happen with his housemates if they work etc) and his response to all this, even though he has ruined her night and the celebration they were planning together the next night, is to feel hard done by, rather than ashamed and guilty for what he put her through.

If the OP had come on here and said - hey, I’m so disappointed in how he’s behaved, moaning at her when she tried to help him after he puked everywhere and I’ve given him short shrift, but honestly, I think she was being a bit of a drama queen too - I’d have disagreed for several reasons, but I’d have done so nicely .

Instead, she made out that the GF was completely out of order, her son had done absolutely nothing wrong and then made unnecessarily snide comments about the GF’s job, trust fund and workout habits before accusing her of fraud.

Two things I know for sure: OP ain’t never coming back and I’m bookmarking this thread to refer back to every time I feel my boundaries wobbling!

This was a celebratory event, that doesn't mean that he hasn't done similar before.

She said she didn't want his flatmates to be responsible for him. He was clearly still in a terrible state at that time or else he could have told the taxi driver himself where to drop him off. So seems like she still thought he needed to be minded, why drop him off to someone who shouldn't have to be responsible for him rather than to a related person?

He turned up at her house at 2am, knowing she had work the next day, threw up all over her house and belongings, shouted at her (which is domestic abuse, btw) and had to be washed like a baby and then taken back to his Mummy. She's underreacting if anything.

Presumably she was doing it before work. OP said she had to get up for work.

So very proud of a young woman I do not know.
I put up with crap like this for years before I had had enough, well done on her drawing a line early.

Sort your DS out OP!

Manchild

He's 26 FFS! No one absolutely no one needs to clean up after a 'self inflicted' sick adult after being out on the town. If you are genuinely sick from a virus/bug that is another story but he is a full blown adult baby that needs to be home with his mother by the sounds of it

I guess she thought he need someone to look after him. But that someone wasn’t her.

Well pre covid she would have just taken a $20 out but cashless society and all...

Unless he has form for this type of behavior then yes, I think it was an OTT response.

Having said that she'd have a right to be pissed off but her response is a tad dramatic.

I'd have dropped him in the Clyde.

This. 100%.
I should imagine he'll be spending more nights at mummy's if he doesn't get his act together. Then again, I reckon the gf will dump this guy sharpish if he doesn't grow the fuck up and taken responsibilities for his actions.

Yes, well said. If my DS24 did this to his GF he’d be in massive trouble with me.

You’re talking about him as though he’s ill and she needs to look after him!!! He drank too much and threw up - and then shouted at her. He needs a bloody bollocking, not mummy making excuses for him.

If he doesn't live with her why was he going back to her house at 2am, waking her up, puking on himself and shouting at her? Good on her for standing her ground.

He passed a few exams . Fair play to him. But thousands before him will also have passed these exams. Nice to celebrate. Not nice to show up puking in his gf's house, abusing her and expect her to look after him. At 26 he'd want to start copping on, or he'll soon have an ex gf.

I honestly hope this is made up. No mother should be defending her son in this case. Are you just pissed off that she landed him on your doorstep in the early hours when you didn't want him either?

I think it's disgusting he turns up like this at her house carrying on then vomiting, yet you are on here defending him?

Embarrassing

It does help explain why there are so many many entitled manchildren around.

Maybe there’s a bit more to it than you know. She has probably been doing the hard yards with the relationship for months while he’s been studying for this exam and frankly, this was utterly disrespectful behaviour. He should have gone to his own home and puked there. He could have sobered up and seen her when he was clean and smelled nice. She may have trauma from past relationships/family drunks too. (God knows I do) Who knows how he behaved or what he said while shitfaced? Blah - don’t assume that because he passed an exam he was a little angel.

Btw, I hope she uses his card to get her carpet and bedding professionally cleaned too. Gross.