To let Dd skive off tomorrow because of sports day?

[Cadela]

Honestly, the way the school organises it is horrendous. It’s FOURTEEN different ‘sports’ that you have five minutes at, and the kids have to perform in front of their peers so it’s already stressful. Plus there is no races, no medals, no winning!

Last year Dd was crying the whole way round because she was so worried about looking silly in front of the year 6s. She’s 7.

Usually I am very much of the let’s crack on and show ourselves we can do it! Mindset, but honestly Dd has been crying about this every bedtime and I just don’t want to force her to do it.

Have you spoken to the teacher about this? They should be supporting her. Can you go and watch?

Of course she has to go. Why is she so afraid of looking silly? Work on that.

With the greatest of regret, yabu.

Kids need to learn to cope in tricky situations - life is full of things that we think are hard and you can't just opt out of all of them.

But the hard stuff we HAVE to do we do, like the dentist and doing a performance in assembly.

I don’t know why forcing Dd to perform sports (which she hates! Give her a maths problem any day) is going to benefit her in any way?

I kept DD home for the Y4 sports day-she was shattered and just really didn’t want to do it.

She did all the others and appears to have got to adulthood without missing that appearing to have any sort of negative affect on her!

I think you tell her DD that it's not up to you and if she's worried she needs to talk to the school. We don't need to solve all our kids problems for them.

She’s 7 and yes I will solve all her problems for her. That’s literally being a parent.

My DD (now in her 20s!) got really upset about sports day at primary school. One year she was crying about it for weeks in advance. I spoke to the teacher and they arranged for her to do a "special job" that day which did not involved running etc. She was fine in future years. I think I did the right thing. I'd definitely suggest talking to the teacher rather than just keeping her home.

Plenty of kids hate maths but love sport. They don't get to opt out of school. For me, it would be a no.

But one day off won't hurt her.

Let her skive. I’m still scarred re my own sports days over 40 years ago. I made own small child go yesterday, she hated it so I’ll let her off from now on. It’s not worth the stress

I know YABU, but tbh @Cadela you know your daughter and you want to do what's best for her. Keep her off.

I’d keep her at home.

Keep her off. Sports Day only benefits the sporty. For everyone else it’s torture.

Give her a day off and go do something nice together. One of my DDs hated sports day, and I soon realised there was nothing whatsoever to be gained from forcing her to go.

I respectfully disagree that a parents job is to solve all your kids problems.

I prefer to set boundaries such as, I have to send you to school but if you are worried I will absolutely hold your hand and support you to tell the teacher to seek support from the school about a school problem. (Eta- in the context of school sports day. Bullying etc is 100% an adult job to solve.)

Why is performing in assembly more important than performing at sports day.
This type of sports day is designed to be the absolute opposite to the ‘performance’ you are describing. All the kids are doing the same thing and no one ‘wins’ so it’s just about having a go.
And I can guarantee you that the year 6’s have zero interest in how a 7 year old is getting on. They’re barely care how the kids their own age are getting on.
I really think she should be encouraged to go and give it a try. Speak to her teacher if your that worried but I would be concerned about the message your sending. Does she get to not do all the things she thinks are difficult?

oh, keep her home. Nothing is gained by traumatising a 7 year old. Lots of sports days are ridiculous- hours out in the hot sun, and absolute noise overload. I agree with you completely that our job is to look after them and solve problems where we can.

@EatTheGnome plenty of kids hate maths but love sports. We don’t make those kids stand up in front of other children and parents and demonstrate how poor they are at maths. Never really understood why kids who don’t like sports have to go through the humiliation.

How do you think they feel in classrooms?

Do you think parents shouldn't be able to go to sports day?

Meh, send her in or keep her off. I'm pretty certain it'll make no real difference to her life.
Fwiw, I was rubbish at sports day. Our school only every did athletics and I was useless at it. It was humiliating and awful every year. My parents eventually let me skip sports day yearly and I'm eternally grateful.

And I also respectfully disagree.

I prefer to be my child‘s safe space so she knows that whatever happens I have her back and I’m always there. That if she is scared and worried I won’t force her to put herself in a position that makes her uncomfortable when I, as an adult, can sort it very quickly.

Clearly we have very different parenting styles.

If she regularly asks to miss school and not do stuff, then you can't keep letting her stay off, it will just get worse.

But if it's a genuine one-off, and she knuckles down and does other stuff she is not keen on, then I would consider it.

We want our kids to trust us and tell us when they have a problem, so it's a fine tightrope to walk between doing what they ask or telling them they just have to get on with it. If you ignore them when they are feeling very upset about something, regardless of how stupid it might seem to us, then the risk is they will choose not to say anything next time.

Keep her home. This isn’t some monumental life lesson, there’ll be plenty of opportunities for her to learn about perseverance and overcoming fears.

School sports day is a load of old shit really. It’s more for the parents and who wants to see their daughter in tears all day.

I let mine skip sports day every year in secondary. I'm usually a stickler for attendance as well.

I class this as 'really not worth it' in the 'pick your battles' approach.
Sports Day is utterly pointless unless sport and/or skiving is your thing. 😬