To let Dd skive off tomorrow because of sports day?

[Cadela]

Honestly, the way the school organises it is horrendous. It’s FOURTEEN different ‘sports’ that you have five minutes at, and the kids have to perform in front of their peers so it’s already stressful. Plus there is no races, no medals, no winning!

Last year Dd was crying the whole way round because she was so worried about looking silly in front of the year 6s. She’s 7.

Usually I am very much of the let’s crack on and show ourselves we can do it! Mindset, but honestly Dd has been crying about this every bedtime and I just don’t want to force her to do it.

Absolutely this, if you DD doesn't want to take part then I'd let her stay home. My oldest DS used to get very anxious about sports day and the school were sympathetic so he did other things, like help pour the drinks, put any equipment there it should be etc. It won't have any impact on her, to not do it. YANBU

No- trauma like years of neglect and abuse and witnessing things they shouldn’t. Having a bad day at sports day is not in any way what I regard as trauma.

I have worked for many years in social care and youth- people can put forward all kinds of theories about why children go onto have mental health issues but in my own, on the ground experience- while yes, SOME children have ASD or ADHD, reality is there are a lot or children with basically parents who let them down. And this is what causes the long term problems.

And letting down our children can be forcing children into school day after day when they are struggling or forcing struggling kids to perform on sports day( which is the least important school day of the year) in front of huge crowds.

That is an issue with the education system and is not the case in every school. Like I said- with regards to sports day a child centred approach is what is needed. If a child genuinely is unable to take part an alternative role should be found. If is just a case of nerves or lack of motivation they should be supported to overcome that.

I hold my hand up to doing both. I applaud parents who have the where with all to work out and decide on what is best for their children and the strength to act on that knowledge.

So back to the op. You are her parent and know what is best for her. I hope you and your daughter had a more productive day than a forced distress inducing sports day.

Plenty of us have told you about our children or children we know who missed sports day and are perfectly fine functioning adults but you don't want to hear that do you? You work with kids who have problems and you've decided missing sports day is something you can identify as causing their problems. Here's a thought, I bet most of them were born in hospitals so let's insist everyone has a home birth. Problem solved and you will be out of a job.

Surely it's possible if not probable that the ability to process and deal with trauma is impacted by under-pinnings of ND? Without careful individual investigation neither can be confidently ruled out?

Hence why some children / people appear to "over-react" to things that others can take in their stride or learn coping mechanisms for more easily?

Also if trauma can literally change neurological pathways and responses, that is in itself a form of induced ND?

Strikes me we have a potential chicken and egg situation IMHO.

I am sure there are some children who have missed sports day and are fine. The original post was would you do it- and I unequivocally would not for the reasons I have previously stated. To me it simply isn’t the right thing to do. Others disagree. That’s fine to have a different opinion but you won’t convince me that unless the child is going to experience some genuine harm (for example if they all ready have clear psychiatric issues) that they should be allowe to opt out of sports day as I firmly believe all children should not be engaging with the expectations set by the school.