To think dh must be eating in secret at work?

[Whenaretheholidayd]

When I met dh he was a bit overweight but over the years he put on a lot of weight and he was morbidly obese. We were both eating a lot of junk food but especially dh. We'd had a baby and we were exhausted all the time.

Dh has got a big appetite but it's one of the things I do kind of love about him, we both love food and trying new things, cooking but it's the amount he eats.

A few years ago we both went on a health kick and lost loads of weight, more dh than me but we both felt great.

Dh has put it nearly all back on. But the thing is we are eating the same things. He's over 6 foot and naturally big built and eats the same as me so I can't understand why he has put all the weight back on. He hasn't gone back to how we were eating before. What he claims to eat is tiny really for a 6 foot male.

Before people jump on me, dh has got high blood pressure, high cholesterol and arthritis and is always complaining about joint pain

😂😂

I agree that not all over eating is disordered eating as such in terms of ‘having a syndrome or disorder’ but it can be a symptom of a disordered society where it’s far easier and accessible to buy chips and burgers than it is to buy fruit. No where is offering drive through bananas and apples are they. Also it’s become very normalised to drink 1000 calories of a milky coffee in one go. So no, it’s not something that requires a psychiatrist, however when you get to the point of hiding what you are eating from your spouse I think that is a worrying sign of what could be a slippery slope of classic addiction type behaviours

A ham sandwich and orange is no where near enough for a man of his height and build to eat at lunch. I would suggest he is going out and buying other things. Maybe he’s worried about eating in front of you at home, do you comment on it when he does? He’s likely to feel he can’t do it at home so he’s binging at work.

What is the best help?

Have you not heard of lipodema?

Why do so many posters always assume everyone has only joint accounts?

Everyone I know in real life either has their own separate finances totally, or has a joint account for mortgage/bills but their own spending money accounts, which we do with whatever we fancy. As we earn the money, cover our responsibilities then it's up to us to decide what to do with fun money.

You can if you have lipodema, I ate 800 calories for 3 months and lost 2lbs, I am 2 stone overweight

I have lipodema and eating too much caused excess fat on my legs and thighs to form into nodules however if you do not accumulate new fat it will control the lipodema from continuing to progress and get worse.

So you lost weight?

You didnt gain weight out of no where?

If I eat a “normal” diet I do, even 1100 calories and working out so my point is people can gain weight with a disease and it’s nothing to do with calories in and calories out for everyone

That’s absolute bullshit! I gained eating a healthy diet, lipodema is a progressive disease regardless of diet. I was working out 6 times per week and eating no carbs or sugar and my arms exploded with menopause, my legs doubled in size with pregnancy even when I was too sick to eat so what you’re saying is rubbish

It’s not bullshit. Have your legs been examined by a vascular surgeon? Mine have. I have a formal diagnosis and was told to keep my fat stores down to stop accumulating diseased fat and eat a non inflammatory diet. I had Doppler scans

I lost 4st 7lbs and although my legs will never be ‘normal’ as I have areas of diseased fat that can’t be lost as it’s nodules, not all of my body was diseased fat, some was normal fluffy fat. You can reverse lipodema from higher stages to lower stages through diet changes. However you can only remove the fat that is abnormal through water assisted liposuction. I also follow a group of other lipodema ladies who have also reversed their stages back from 3 to 1 so it’s not just me.

If you are gaining weight in a deficit on your legs it could be fluid. This is lymphoedema and not actually fat. Your lymph glands can become compromised and then fluid drains less easily, causing swelling, lipoedema is rock hard nodules of fat that is painful and usually takes a long time to become diseased however Hormone's play a huge part so menopause can cause it to worsen more rapidly. I would speak to a doctor ASAP. I’m sorry you have it, it is not a nice condition. You can get treatment for your hormones (as I did) to help manage symptoms

the fundamental basics of treatment of lipodema are:
compression
non inflammatory diet (usually keto)
liposuction

Oh come now, he already lost loads of weight by eating less crap so yes eating more crap is going to be the problem. He might never be able to be the equivalent of a women's size 8 but it's really not that complex no matter what excuses you come up with - he's already demonstrated that.

He lying OP, he's eating behind your back and lying to your face and that would seriously piss me off. By lying and cheating on your agreement he keeps you where you are while he eats as much as he likes.

I know all about lipodema and it the main issue is it is ineffective against diet, otherwise we’d all be cured? How can my legs balloon and arms eating keto and working out if diet works for everyone? It doesn’t, very small amount of woman can reverse it! I couldn’t do anymore than I do, I’ve had liposuction on my arms and it’s now starting on my stomach which has been flat my whole life even in my teens when my diet wasn’t as restrictive, keto put me in hospital with gallbladder issues,
it’s definitely not fulid, why was my legs big and covered in cellulite as a early teen when I was eating 3 small healthy meals a day and my sister was very thin and eating more than me? Diet helps with management but lipodema can progress without it having anything to do with food intake, it’s linked to hormones and stress. As I said my arms ballooned at a time I was almost had an eating disorder and exercising daily to lose weight. I eat a healthy anti inflammatory diet yet I can feel nodules coming on my stomach. There’s thousand of woman who can’t do anymore with their diet and it’s still progressing so stating it’s to do with calorie intake is unfair as it isn’t for the vast majority of woman

@Harry12345 you know that the medical advise diet change though because of the anti inflammatory side? Not all the fat is lipodema fat, that’s what I said. I had very high oestrogen levels and grew huge fibroids in my womb (had to be removed) - I had high oestrogen because my poor diet was contributing to rising oestrogen levels - the link between sugar, processed foods and oestrogen increase has been proven. In turn it is oestrogen that causes the lipodema. I now don’t have a womb, I manage my oestrogen levels partly through diet, I try not to accumulate new fat (which is at risk of turning to lippy fat) and lost some of my normal fluffy fat to try to stop further progression.

There are things you can do to stop lipodema progressing but a lot of doctors don’t really listen or take it seriously. I am not sure of the numbers of lippy stage reversals, I was on a group with a large number of women completely FAILED by doctors who just shrugged at them and said wear compression so many of us took matters into our own hands and I got mine back to stage 1 through various measures. I was also on a different group with women who didn’t take any dietary advice, they do not want to hear it and went straight for surgery. It will move to a new body part even if you remove it from what I have seen. The lippy fat will damage your lymphatic system which is what compression is for

research reducing oestrogen diet - this is the one to follow if oestrogen is the issue but you mind need a doctor to actually listen to you and investigate you correctly to tell you the levels. You might be on the wrong HRT? I don’t do keto

diet is not ineffective that’s the brush off. Look up Sarah Whitlow on Instagram. She still has lippy legs but she’s stopped the progression and she has some great advice. I found her when I was researching what to do

Ive also always had legs since a teen that don’t look like other people’s legs but it was not until my oestrogen levels got out of control that I had a huge growth of lippy fat rapidly

Wow! There really isn’t getting through to you, you said you lost weight so you must of been overeating, that’s your experience not mine, I was anorexic looking on my face, collar bone and waist yet my arms and legs were growing. Diet can help in managing it but cutting calories and a keto diet doesn’t stop it progressing for everyone, as I have done this and it didn’t work. There’s nothing more I can do and yet it is still developing over my body, it’s in my breasts now. I eat clean, work out, wear compression and get lymphatic drainage massage and my legs are the same size. Diet will help it not to progress but not always. How can you say diet is effective for everyone when I am telling you it isn’t for me? I was basically starving myself and my legs didn’t change, I was tiny on top but now it’s there too even with a healthy low calorie diet? It may work for some but doesn’t for the majority, I’ve no other fat to lose other than lipo fat and never really have had as I’ve always been healthy as I don’t want to be overweight, yet here I am, I eat 1 takeaway a year and get the healthy option, my life has been a misery of eating differently to everyone else but with no results, trust me if diet could work for me I would be doing it as I hate my body

You made the claim that people in calorie deficit would put on weight. You gave an example of losing weight.

If you eat 1100 and put on weight then by definition, that is not in calorie deficit.

I have an underactive thyroid, it needs treatment, but until then, unfortunately maintenance (which should be around 1550) seems to be operating at around 1300. So thats what I have to eat to and eat less than to lose weight. Im losing about a 1lb a month, if that.

I really don’t know, this sounds unusual and something I’ve never heard of before. As others have said, this seems to defy the basic principals of science and it’s not my understanding of lipodema, which is generally a slow progressive disease this sounds very rare so only your doctors can really explain what’s happened which does sound terrible. It’s just my experience and the research I have done. when it first starts to show they don’t know what it is until it’s at a later stage and then it is harder as it affects mobility so I don’t think this is the majority experience that either of us can claim. Yes hormones play a part what I am saying is that this is a misdiagnosed condition that is not taken seriously in women and they do not get help with their hormones correctly in the first place. Pregnancy and menopause are triggers which can’t always be controlled but the research I have read says lipodema tends to progress through incorrect management (wrong HRT for instance) or weight increase. I just referencing what I have read in science journals, my doctors, other women and myself, so I’m sorry you think I am misinformed

My example was of an extreme calorie deficit for months with minimal loss, 1100 calories when I go on 2 hour walks and eat healthy should also be a deficit but I don’t lose any weight, I’m basically starving and under eating to lose a couple of pounds

Sorry if I’ve came across harshly, I have never over ate and have always been healthy and it’s progressed, overeating causes it to progress faster. I haven’t and have grown even when basically starving myself, for myself it is definitely related and progressed by hormone fluctuations, my legs at 13 were always bigger and I got called thunder thighs. There’s nothing more I can do bar save for leg surgery now.
Below has been copied from lipodema website-
Unfortunately, Lipedema fat is far more stubborn than regular fat, and will not respond to diet or exercise. Those with this disorder may workout regularly and practice healthy and balanced nutrition but will continue to gain weight.

Maybe watch the show secret eaters together, OP? It really does bring home how often were on denial about it own food intake!