To think dh must be eating in secret at work?

[Whenaretheholidayd]

When I met dh he was a bit overweight but over the years he put on a lot of weight and he was morbidly obese. We were both eating a lot of junk food but especially dh. We'd had a baby and we were exhausted all the time.

Dh has got a big appetite but it's one of the things I do kind of love about him, we both love food and trying new things, cooking but it's the amount he eats.

A few years ago we both went on a health kick and lost loads of weight, more dh than me but we both felt great.

Dh has put it nearly all back on. But the thing is we are eating the same things. He's over 6 foot and naturally big built and eats the same as me so I can't understand why he has put all the weight back on. He hasn't gone back to how we were eating before. What he claims to eat is tiny really for a 6 foot male.

Before people jump on me, dh has got high blood pressure, high cholesterol and arthritis and is always complaining about joint pain

Honestly this is such a breakthrough book. It’s such a good place to start.

Much, much worse.

OP I would encourage him to see if there is a men's group in the area he can join to lose weight. (It will mean he disappears one evening a week to play walking football or whatever.)

Then unfortunately you need to leave him to it as you have said enough and he clearly doesn't want to be accountable to you about his weight he just wants to have a moan while secretly eating.

Yeah. Overactive fork.

He definitely is. Maybe food is a comfort for him. I eat loads in secret. To be honest. Doing it in secret is a bit of the excitement. If I only ate my normal meals, I would be fine. I don't think there is anything you can do about it. I don't think anything would make me stop, even the threat of diabetes. I don't know why I do it, probably he doesn't either.

There was a TV programme a while back where they followed a couple who "eat healthily but we can't lose weight, we don't know why". The woman worked as a postie and rode her bike all day. She had her healthy slimline breakfast, delivered a few letters, and then they filmed her going into a shop and coming out with two Mars bars, which she proceeded to eat. They showed her the footage and she just said "That's not me, it can't be". This went on for several days. Total denial in the face of filmed evidence (him too).

There's a man down the road from me who wfh and, according to his wife, "goes for a walk" twice a day. We see him buying a can of coke and a family sized bag of crisps, which he consumes on the street at breakneck speed and then returns home. His wife is a acquaintance and she regularly muses about his poor metabolism and how he can't lose weight despite eating healthily

A woman I worked with, genuinely asked me one day if she was overweight because she drank sparkling water. She could not figure out how she was so heavy.

Talk to him if he's genuinely not eating at work he needs his thyroid checking or you do if your not gaining weight because it's one of you or he's eating at work

Years ago at WeightWatchers, I remember women saying they had gained that week because they overdid the tinned tomatoes and sweetcorn. Yeah, tomatoes and sweetcorn. That's how I ended up at WW too.

I think she knew, and I think these women knew. But one of the hardest things about weight loss and maintenance is adjusting your mindset and the way you think about it. It really is very hard. Very often, overweight people truly do not eat much by volume. But some foods are so fattening that it really does not take much...

I remember watching a programme on BBC1 - where a young teen was thought to be 'eating extras', he did loads of sport - and ate healthy meals but kept piling the weight on .. his family were totally convinced he was guzzling secret food.. so without his knowledge they filmed him for 2 weeks..

He was not eating more than the rest of his family.

They did a 'poo sample' and it turned out his gut bacteria were off.. He changed his diet to include a small bowl of porridge each morning with apple sauce and cinnamon on, as his gut health improved the weight fell off him.

I do think some people over eat and are unaware, but others - their body just does not help them.

I also remember reading about someone who had a poo transplant for 1 condition and gained loads of weight after, and that was linked to gut biome too.

He will be eating and/or drinking something with high calorific content. He may not even be fully aware/admitting it to himself.
Maybe a latte heaped with sugar every morning and afternoon. A couple of packets of biscuits costs less than a couple of quid, he may keep them as a pick-me-up in his drawer, and dips in more than he realises. Maybe he has vastly underestimated the calories in his regular lunchtime salad?
On the Secret Eaters show, (loads are on you tube) it's amazing how much people delude themselves. And the ones who genuinely don't overeat but are overweight, tend to have a liqueur habit that they haven't allowed for.
I'm obese. I eat too much of the wrong things and snack a lot. I don't have a slow metabolism. I had some really distressing news six weeks ago and suddenly couldn't eat as much as normal. I lost half a stone in a week.
Honestly, it won't be a mystery.

his family were totally convinced he was guzzling secret food.. so without his knowledge they filmed him for 2 weeks

Without his knowledge???

Before my Dad retired he was gaining weight and was acting mystified.
It turned out his boss, who 'liked his grub', was taking him out for elevenses every day to his favourite panini vendor. About 700 calories in one of the ones he was having, plus some sort of sweet pastry.
So he was eating about 2 days extra food a week.

stealmodemama

I too saw a programme like that, maybe the same one? But I remember thinking how come the boy had a different gut biology in the first place? The impression I got was that him eating healthy stuff they recommended, it made his gut health better, therefore he hadn't been eating as healthy as had been claimed...
I am a massive cynic though 😁

but I’ve never eaten any lunch at work

Skipping meals can be part of the problem.

He will be. It's what I used to do.

Could it be a case of him not eating enough and his metabolism has stalled?

My husband had a issue with food he was depressed (which he hid from me) and was eating things on way into work. Could be the same reason, might be best to have a gentle chat with him. Especially if you've got the added worry of his health problems. My husband felt better once it all came out.

She's had the gentle chat.

You were quick Charlotte 😂 I didn't read through the whole thread missed that thanks.

Next time he mentions wanting to lose weight - maybe suggest one of the apps where he logs everything he eats or that he goes to a paid for group that weights every week.

Easiest explanation is he eating crap and is later denying it to you.

Other explanation is there are hidden or forgotten calories - like PP say some drinks can be shockingly calorific there were ones in USA malls yogurt style drinks that had more calories than a normal meal -or he's forgetting the meeting donuts/biscuits/pizza or his portion sizes are wrong.

Less likely explanation is is medical - thyroid but somehow not yet been tested for in tests he had.

It's probably nothing really you can solve for him - but extra exercise even just walking will be helping.

I've lost a lot of weight, numerous times in my life
Every time I'm not 100% focused on weight /calories/exercise..it just goes back on and more
It's like .......if all I have to focus on is my weight ,I can do it
But add in other things ,and (so in your dh life ,baby ,job ,wife ,house , responsibility.)
Your eye is off the ball .
It's a vicious vicious circle,and almost impossible to escape long term from
It's why they now think of obseity as a disease.

Is your DH taking medication for his high blood pressure , cholesterol and arthritis ? Some meds can make you put weight on but not a huge amount , i.e . not often more than a stone .

My Dad who did loose the weight few times over years - hoping they'd look at the sleep apnea which can disrupt hormones in body and was probably not helping the wight issue - was at one stage told to lose wight by GP who also put him on a medication that made him pile on the lbs and was actually well known for doing so and there were alternatives that didn't.

So yes any medication worth a quick google to rule out contributing.