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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stalk a stranger in A&E

602 replies

TheRozzers · 26/06/2024 22:13

Witnessed a nasty accident today. An elderly lady had a fall in the street and was bleeding badly. I was coming back from the gym and had a towel with me so used it to help stem the bleeding and stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Others helped too.

We were talking to her and trying to reassure her as she was very distressed and in a lot of pain. I'm pretty sure she's broken a bone.

I asked if there was anyone we could call. Partner, children, friends. She said she had nobody.

I can't stop wondering how she is, she's probably in the hospital A&E corridor and will be for the next week knowing the state of the NHS.

I have tried to call the hospital to enquire after her but no answer.

Would it be really weird and stalker like to go to the hospital and check up on her? Maybe take her something to eat and drink? I know her full name and date of birth so assume I could track her down?

Or would that be an invasion of her privacy?

It's also quite late now.

OP posts:
TimeGoesBySoSlowlyForThoseWhoWait · 27/06/2024 17:58

This is such a lovely post and a genuinely lovely thing for you to do, even if you don’t get to see her, I promise that your kindness will make her feel so thought of. And you’ll remind the ward staff of the good in the world.

Ellaelle · 27/06/2024 17:59

May God always bless you what a very kind person you are, if she where my mum and I wasn't around and someone like you did all this I would be eternally grateful. Thank you, there are some very kind people out there

BotterMon · 27/06/2024 18:01

What a lovely person you are! Hope you find her.

Snooks1971 · 27/06/2024 18:02

@TheRozzers you are so very kind and I hope you get to see her, or at the very least she receives your lovely gifts and knows that someone is thinking of her. Bless you

Dontshootthemessengers · 27/06/2024 18:04

I think it’s a really lovely, kind idea. I’m amazed that some people find it weird to want to help a stranger in need. This lack of community spirit is so sad.

Cadno31 · 27/06/2024 18:04

What an absolutely lovely thing to do. ❤️💐

Sunshineandrainbow · 27/06/2024 18:05

TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 17:40

Thank you for the tips. Will be heading over to the hospital shortly. May have gone slightly overboard! It's hard to choose things for a complete stranger.

Assuming I find her (still no answer when I try and call the hospital) I will ask the nurses if it's appropriate to see her. If they suggest leaving the things I will do that and say who I am in the card.

DC is fine btw, no temperature today and I have no symptoms so I don't think it's risky.

So lovely.... Please can I let you know when I am in hopsital and you can kindly visit me with wonderful treats.

Ohyay · 27/06/2024 18:05

Restoring faith in humanity

Thatwouldbeme · 27/06/2024 18:06

Hope you find her x

bossybloss · 27/06/2024 18:07

You are wonderful. ❤️

TheYoungestSibling · 27/06/2024 18:09

I think what you're doing is really kind.

Be ready to be told they can't tell you anything. Suggest they take your details and ask her if she would like to make contact. If she's admitted you'd be happy to visit her if she would like it, that sort of thing.

Workhardcryharder · 27/06/2024 18:10

stressedespresso · 26/06/2024 22:15

I know you mean well but yes, it’s a bit stalkerish and would be massively overstepping on her privacy.

If we lived in a world where no one asked after or offered or cared for someone else for fear of overstepping it would be a sad and lonely world.

CheltenhamLady · 27/06/2024 18:10

Well done OP. This is a lovely thing to do.

Mrsredlipstick · 27/06/2024 18:10

A lovely thing to do.

Sunshineclouds11 · 27/06/2024 18:11

I really hope you find her and manage to see her.

What a lovely woman you are 🌈

LazyGewl · 27/06/2024 18:12

TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 17:40

Thank you for the tips. Will be heading over to the hospital shortly. May have gone slightly overboard! It's hard to choose things for a complete stranger.

Assuming I find her (still no answer when I try and call the hospital) I will ask the nurses if it's appropriate to see her. If they suggest leaving the things I will do that and say who I am in the card.

DC is fine btw, no temperature today and I have no symptoms so I don't think it's risky.

This makes me want to cry. The world seems so harsh sometimes. it’s great be reminded that humans are compassionate beings.

Dontevenlookatme · 27/06/2024 18:12

TheYoungestSibling · 27/06/2024 18:09

I think what you're doing is really kind.

Be ready to be told they can't tell you anything. Suggest they take your details and ask her if she would like to make contact. If she's admitted you'd be happy to visit her if she would like it, that sort of thing.

I hope you get to see the lady OP. Don’t be sent away by the hospital, make sure they ask her while you’re there if she’d be willing to see you, I bet she would.

NoraLuka · 27/06/2024 18:13

I hope you’re allowed to see her, OP. I don’t see how it could be wrong to ask about someone who injured themselves.

Peacefulbeach · 27/06/2024 18:13

Aw let us know how she’s doing OP! How lovely of you xx

butterpuffed · 27/06/2024 18:13

stressedespresso · 26/06/2024 22:15

I know you mean well but yes, it’s a bit stalkerish and would be massively overstepping on her privacy.

It's not stalkerish at all , it's caring and thoughtful . I wouldn't want to live in a world where it would be completely misconstrued .

meetmeatsunset · 27/06/2024 18:13

You sound really lovely Op and it's a very very kind thing to do. But be prepared to not get anywhere. A&E won't tell you anything unless you're NOK. They likely can't tell you which ward she's on due to information governance. I work in a hospital, we can't just give patient information out to anyone, even well meaning people.

Please don't lie about being a relative like pp suggested. This would be completely bizarre and definitely overstepping.

MrsPositivity1 · 27/06/2024 18:13

@TheRozzers i think this is a really lovely thing for you to do. I don’t think it’s intrusive at all.

Witchbitch20 · 27/06/2024 18:14

I hope you have been able to see her.

MadeForThis · 27/06/2024 18:14

Hope you find her.

KnitnNatterAuntie · 27/06/2024 18:15

What a lovely, thoughtful & generous selection of gifts,

I can still remember, decades later, we had an elderly gentleman admitted to the hospital where I worked. He had amnesia after a head injury and the local press released his description in the hope that someone might recognise his him.

A local lady arrived with a carrier bag of thoughtful gifts for him and left it with us at the reception desk as she couldn't bear the thought of him not having anything . . . I've never forgotten her kindness.