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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stalk a stranger in A&E

602 replies

TheRozzers · 26/06/2024 22:13

Witnessed a nasty accident today. An elderly lady had a fall in the street and was bleeding badly. I was coming back from the gym and had a towel with me so used it to help stem the bleeding and stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. Others helped too.

We were talking to her and trying to reassure her as she was very distressed and in a lot of pain. I'm pretty sure she's broken a bone.

I asked if there was anyone we could call. Partner, children, friends. She said she had nobody.

I can't stop wondering how she is, she's probably in the hospital A&E corridor and will be for the next week knowing the state of the NHS.

I have tried to call the hospital to enquire after her but no answer.

Would it be really weird and stalker like to go to the hospital and check up on her? Maybe take her something to eat and drink? I know her full name and date of birth so assume I could track her down?

Or would that be an invasion of her privacy?

It's also quite late now.

OP posts:
LakieLady · 27/06/2024 16:47

If anything happened to me, I would be in a similar position to that lady. I have a few friends, but only a couple that are local, and they both have caring responsibilities that would make it difficult for them to visit.

I would be really touched, and very grateful.

Ginkypig · 27/06/2024 16:47

helpfulperson · 27/06/2024 16:39

I wouldn't take anything. I would go and see how the land lies. Be prepared to leave immediately if she isn't pleased to see you. And if she is you can pop out to a supermarket and pick up bits.

I’d personally take the stuff but I’d keep it in a bag and if it doesn’t feel appropriate I could just take it away with me.

I hope she is ok op.

RantyMcRanterton · 27/06/2024 17:01

Can hospitals tell anyone who has the patient's name and d o b the ward that they are in?

Riversideandrelax · 27/06/2024 17:08

I'd phone the hospital first to enquire where she is as she probably won't still be in A&E. Then you could go to the ward and explain the situation to an HCA and they can ask her if she would like to see you or not. If not you can still leave something for her if you'd like to. It's nice that you want to check up on her. I helped a boy who got knocked off his bike by a car once and I still sometimes wonder how he was afterwards.

godmum56 · 27/06/2024 17:10

RantyMcRanterton · 27/06/2024 17:01

Can hospitals tell anyone who has the patient's name and d o b the ward that they are in?

they shouldn't

EggbertHeartsTina · 27/06/2024 17:13

I was once on a taxi that knocked a young woman over. We did first aid and called ambulance - she was unconscious. Obviously had to give a police statement. I felt same as you. Called hospital next day and they were only able to tell me that the bed she'd been admitted to was now vacant. To this day I don't know if she was ok, or if she was very much NOT ok. Definitely try and find out.

Stripeysocks1981 · 27/06/2024 17:26

This is such a lovely idea op. The world would be a better place if more people were like you ❤️

TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 27/06/2024 17:34

RantyMcRanterton · 27/06/2024 17:01

Can hospitals tell anyone who has the patient's name and d o b the ward that they are in?

No, only family members from my personal experience.

TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 27/06/2024 17:35

As in child or spouse. Not extended family.

Original poster
TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 17:35

EggbertHeartsTina · 27/06/2024 17:13

I was once on a taxi that knocked a young woman over. We did first aid and called ambulance - she was unconscious. Obviously had to give a police statement. I felt same as you. Called hospital next day and they were only able to tell me that the bed she'd been admitted to was now vacant. To this day I don't know if she was ok, or if she was very much NOT ok. Definitely try and find out.

Omg that's awful. Presumably if she was very much not okay it would have been in the news?

OP posts:
Muffin101 · 27/06/2024 17:37

What a bloody lovely thing to do op. Sure it’s got the potential to not be received well but it’s much more likely imo to be very much appreciated by an elderly lady who is on her own in the world.

Original poster
TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 17:40

Thank you for the tips. Will be heading over to the hospital shortly. May have gone slightly overboard! It's hard to choose things for a complete stranger.

Assuming I find her (still no answer when I try and call the hospital) I will ask the nurses if it's appropriate to see her. If they suggest leaving the things I will do that and say who I am in the card.

DC is fine btw, no temperature today and I have no symptoms so I don't think it's risky.

To stalk a stranger in A&E
OP posts:
Panama2 · 27/06/2024 17:40

How is it an invasion of privacy when the poor woman is probably in a corridor in full view of everyone in A&E.

There was a poor man in the news having to pee in front of everybody.

LoveHearts69 · 27/06/2024 17:44

TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 17:40

Thank you for the tips. Will be heading over to the hospital shortly. May have gone slightly overboard! It's hard to choose things for a complete stranger.

Assuming I find her (still no answer when I try and call the hospital) I will ask the nurses if it's appropriate to see her. If they suggest leaving the things I will do that and say who I am in the card.

DC is fine btw, no temperature today and I have no symptoms so I don't think it's risky.

This is so lovely!! I’m a very private and proud person but this would really touch me and I wouldn’t think it was invasive at all. ❤️

ThatsAFineLookingHighHorse · 27/06/2024 17:45

Hope she's okay, OP. Very kind and thoughtful of you to be following up on her.

Rosesanddaffs · 27/06/2024 17:45

TheRozzers · 27/06/2024 17:40

Thank you for the tips. Will be heading over to the hospital shortly. May have gone slightly overboard! It's hard to choose things for a complete stranger.

Assuming I find her (still no answer when I try and call the hospital) I will ask the nurses if it's appropriate to see her. If they suggest leaving the things I will do that and say who I am in the card.

DC is fine btw, no temperature today and I have no symptoms so I don't think it's risky.

@TheRozzers you are so sweet, I wish there were more people like you out there xx

CuteCillian · 27/06/2024 17:46

I keep thinking about your thoughtfulness. I hope you can find the lady, and look forward to the update.

Myusernamemustbeatleastthreecharacters · 27/06/2024 17:47

What a lovely things to do. I'm glad there are still people in the world like this.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/06/2024 17:48

Id be tempted to tell the hospital you're her niece, don't make any personal enquiries and go and see her

Silviasilvertoes · 27/06/2024 17:50

I lived a long way from my late dad and he had lots of falls in public towards the end. He and I were always grateful when strangers took care of him and he treasured the ones who checked in on him afterwards.

Yousay55 · 27/06/2024 17:53

It would be a lovely thing to do.

EggbertHeartsTina · 27/06/2024 17:53

@TheRozzers hopefully you're right. I was a young student in a big city, I think I'd have done more to track her down if it was now!

mibbelucieachwell · 27/06/2024 17:55

I think this is lovely. But I would tell a nurse on the ward who you are and ask them to ask the patient if she is agreeable to you visiting her in hospital.

BulldogMumma · 27/06/2024 17:57

I think it's a lovely thing to do, I hope you get to see her

Tlolljs · 27/06/2024 17:58

Thank you for this post op. My mum had a nasty fall in the street once and a very kind stranger helped her. Never did find out who it was. So I’m imagining it was you.