Next doors daughter again!!

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

Posted on a previous thread about next door daughter coming round our house all the time and just disrupting everything Climbing on furniture and damaging things.

I came back off holiday on Friday and brought DS a huge tub of his favourite chocolate from duty free. He has been saving them and only having a handful each time.

She came round on Saturday and DS showed her the chocolate what I brought. Soon as he left the room to go outside and play she ate the whole tub!!!! Baring in mind this is a huge tub of chocolate.

DS was so angry never seen him get this angry and he came and told me and said he wanted her out the house. She promised to replace them but hasn’t. They don’t have much money so I don’t expect it.

She keeps calling round everyday and I have been saying no as DS doesn’t want her here. It’s getting to the point where it’s embarrassing sending her back home 2-3 times a day.

How can I word this nicely to her mum that I don’t want her coming round. She’s a compulsive liar and a nasty little girl. (As horrible as it sounds)

OP hasn't said. I think they are early 30's.

I have been wondering why the poster refuses to give the age of the child. The whole thing is very strange indeed, especially that the child was left alone for long enough to eat all the chocolates! That sounds really unbelievable. Why, if she had been invited in, wasn’t she included in whatever the parent and child were up to?
I’m not sure this is a genuine post!

Early 30s??? Are you serious??

This child is not your responsibility. It is obvious you are kind-hearted, but your kindness is negatively impacting your own child. No matter what the child says you send her home. Be blunt and say that your son does not want to be her friend because she does things which upset him. Be blunt with mum - tell her that her daughter may not call at your house and that you won’t be letting her in anymore.
This is a sad situation for the girl, but you can’t save her to the detriment of your own child.

You don’t mean fib, you mean lie! Be an adult and simply tell the truth 🤷‍♀️

Don't answer the door.

Have you ever gone on a restrictive diet or had a stomach bug where you can't eat much for a few days until you have recovered fully, and then tried to eat something rich like chocolate? Someone who is regularly not eating enough would not be able to eat a full tub of chocolate without getting sick.

Stop answering the door to her. The end.

This just isn't true. My mum had neglectful parents and was very underweight. She used to gorge on chocolate and calorie rich foods whenever she could. That's the typical behaviour of kids without enough food

@Notthattimeofthemonth

she knocked on the door Saturday morning to say she missed me whilst I was away and I felt guilty! And was suckered back in.

Come on, OP... You are being manipulated by this child, to the detriment on your own child. Time to put on those MN "Big girl pants" and say "No" to her.

Also you'll need to let her own parents know that you don't want her calling round any more so they can do their bit to dissuade her. If you can't face them directly, put it in a note through their letterbox- whatever gets the job done.

Also do you have a security chain on the inside of your front door? If so, ensure you engage that if/when you do open the door, so she can't barge in. If you don't have one, consider getting one installed. Your child is as you, of course know, is the priority here. 🌹

No, if a child comes to your house and eats all the chocolate you’d go and speak to the child’s parents to tell them that your son no longer wants said child to come over for a while because he feels child crossed a boundary.

But then why show her the chocolates and leave her with them??

There maybe something that stands out from that meeting with the parent that makes OP feel uncomfortable. Signs of neglect. Then she should call ss. Or 101 and ask for advice.

(Laxative chocolate)

Noted OP won’t reveal the ages of these children and like others said these are not very young perhaps this girl is 10 or 11.
I wouldn’t go round to her parents if in fact they do open their door, it might end in a very unpleasant exchange and as they live next door life could get difficult.
I wouldn’t contact the SS either if she’s an older child and the SS may well already know of family difficulties.
Next time she comes round smile at her and say ‘look love you can’t come in and don’t come round again’ and be consistent.
Life is difficult and sad enough for the kid without having to endure nastiness when it is the fault of her upbringing

I think they’re joking. 😆

Shutting the door in the face of a child?

Maybe say, come on let’s go have a chat with your mum.

I realise that if the girl is neglected that could put her in a bad position at home but OP needs to talk to the child’s mum about the situation

Christ on a bike, she's

She's pinched some chocolate, she's not Mary Bell! Just tell her clearly that you don't want her to come round any more, tell her mother the same and stick to it. No need for all the hyperbole.

Just tell the brat's mother that you don't want their child coming around anymore.

There was a ''Nuisance'' older girl {approx 12} who used to hang around a park when son was young- She targeted the much younger children and their parents- over friendly, getting into people's ''space'' -taking younger children's toys and breaking them, either on purpose or through heavy handed clumsiness.

It got to the point when we saw her there, that we'd turn around and visit another day.

These annoying children always target younger ones, as they are easier to bully and snatch from.

I'd not be opening the door to such a child in the first place.
She breaks stuff, steals, and is a general pain to have around.

If she keeps knocking and ringing, OP could say in no uncertain terms ''My son no longer wants you coming round because of how you misbehave''.

I don't know I'm going against the grain here, I feel like I would try and encourage forgiveness, I stole some chocolate when I was little from a stupidly spoilt child (I had relatively little & thought in my child brain that she wouldn't miss one chocolate egg,). She did of course. I was never a bad kid & I didn't end up in prison later.
Kids make mistakes & I think the way this is dealt with might be really important for both of these children.
Even If boundaries are put in place & she isn't welcome as much you know, feel a bit sorry for her.

There’s no point in another thread about this. No one on here can tell you how to grow a backbone and stop letting this kid in your house, you just have to do it.

If you think she’s being neglected, report it.

You have to put your own son first. He doesn’t want her in the house! The girl isn’t your responsibility and frankly, if she can manage to eat that much chocolate without you realising til afterwards, you’re not supervising them enough. What if she decided she wanted to drink a bottle of wine or bleach or something? I’m not saying she’s likely to but you need to be more careful here. The first thing that came into my head when I read your op on the first thread about her jumping on the furniture etc was that girl could easily injure herself in your house. You’d have to take responsibility for that. I don’t really buy that you feel sorry for her yet you’re also calling her devious. You’re making problems for yourself. I can almost guarantee once you turn her away consistently, it won’t take long at all before she stops calling.

A good friend of my sister's recently commented on how the meals she received at our house decades ago were often the only food she received all day. She's now a successful business woman but I was really touched at her comments.
You need to set serious boundaries but it's worrying that the child may have simply been hungry.

And the OP still hasn't said how old the children are It's kind of rude to leave someone alone who doesn't live there long enough to scoff all your chocolates. I'm sure the OP would have noticed her son going outside. So why didn't she go and check sooner what she was up to?🙄🤔

Yes that’s fine.
No need to be rude to her though