Next doors daughter again!!

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

Posted on a previous thread about next door daughter coming round our house all the time and just disrupting everything Climbing on furniture and damaging things.

I came back off holiday on Friday and brought DS a huge tub of his favourite chocolate from duty free. He has been saving them and only having a handful each time.

She came round on Saturday and DS showed her the chocolate what I brought. Soon as he left the room to go outside and play she ate the whole tub!!!! Baring in mind this is a huge tub of chocolate.

DS was so angry never seen him get this angry and he came and told me and said he wanted her out the house. She promised to replace them but hasn’t. They don’t have much money so I don’t expect it.

She keeps calling round everyday and I have been saying no as DS doesn’t want her here. It’s getting to the point where it’s embarrassing sending her back home 2-3 times a day.

How can I word this nicely to her mum that I don’t want her coming round. She’s a compulsive liar and a nasty little girl. (As horrible as it sounds)

I think you need to pop around in the early evening and speak to her mum in person. You need to state very clearly that the chocolate has not been replaced and you are very sick of her knocking on the door. She will not be allowed back in. In fact, both of them need to accept that you are not running a daycare centre.

This OP.
Be very clear and direct.

She must have been left alone for a long time to eat all the chocolates? How did that come about?

If this is really happening then she needs to find friends her own age, after school and weekend clubs.

Forget 'rocking the boat'. You go to her mother and you say she ate all your sons chocolate and is constantly disrespectful so you don't want her in your home anymore so SHE needs to make sure she stops knocking as the door will be ignored from now on.

I've just read your other thread about this, trying to find out how old this girl is. So you've only had this girl as a neighbour for about 6 weeks and you've been on holiday (without your son) for part of that time? What happened while you were away? Did she stay away from your house and your son? You say she is older than your children - how much older? It seems to me that she's coming to see you, not your son, and I also think you're flattered by that and the hugging and the "second mum" stuff, which is really why you're not stopping her coming. It's a very short spell of time for her to have formed such an attachment unless you've encouraged her in some way. In the other thread, you also said that it was the mother who was texting you and asking if the girl could come round. So the solution would have been simple - you just say no, not convenient. You also claim the mother has mental health and alcohol issues - how do you know that? You seem to barely know her. Stop pandering to your ego and think about your son. It's his home (and his chocolate).

She outsmarted you.

Just follow the advice especially the strict teacher voice.

Or do what I do with random door knockers - as soon as I can see who is on the doorstep, I turn around and ignore them.

This exactly. It's a really weird story - the main thing is she has upset your son and he doesn't want her in the house so prioritise him and tell the mum she can't call in any more. That's it. You're really making such a drama out of nothing much

Interesting. Just text the mum and say enough is enough. It shouldn't be this hard after six weeks.

Don't use your son as an excuse, if she's a bully she might oick on him. Tell them she's not welcome in your house anymore, if they ask why be honest and say she's rude and disrespectful.

JFC I'd be asking social services to do a welfare check on this kid. Poor thing.

You could be right.

I'm going on the information that OP has provided - namely, that she is a wet lettuce allowing her and her son to be taken advantage of by people who are much more robust. I read her previous thread as well; she's mentioned nothing about this child that seems abnormal other than the behaviour that breaks other people's belongings and eats other people's special treats.

If there is abuse or neglect going on, OP still doesn't need to say yes to this child. She can make the appropriate referrals.

It sounds like her home life is not what it should be. Please be directly firm with her before doing anything about contacting social services.

Lessons all round here I’m afraid - don’t let a child, known to be a nuisance into your house, don’t leave her unsupervised, don’t show her chocolate, do not leave her with the chocolate. I didn’t catch the age of the child but I imagine, especially if she is hungry or doesn’t often get treats, she may be the least to blame in this scenario.

I think this is the only way to deal with her, her mother is an obvious gobshite & won't take the hint, what a nightmare

Don't be ridiculous

That was my first thought as well, for someone you don't want in the house at all she's apparently been let in and then left alone for an extended period of time.....🤔🙄

Absolutely this!
Idk who it was that said leave a message on the door addressed to the child but really???? Why would a grown up, a mother, any decent human being, do something so awful to a child.
Regardless of how she is, she is still a child and seemingly troubled one somehow.
Not a monster.

OP you need to go next door and speak with her parents. By doing that you’ll see a little into how her life is. You need to communicate to the other grown ups, parents that sadly your DS doesn’t want to play with her for a little while as the girl took something without asking or being offered.

It could be that she didn’t realise that she was doing such ‘a bad thing’.

I feel a bit bad for her if I’m honest. She sounds like she needs support from somewhere. She’s not your responsibility but you have options:

Continue to say no sorry not today with no explanation .

Above, with explanation (bit harsh though as adult to child… you’d have to word it wisely).

Pay her house a visit and talk to the parents.

If you get any feeling that things aren’t right, speak to social services.

Good luck!

Not so ridiculous.
If she is being neglected, isn’t it better that it’s intervened?
If the OP has any beliefs that there is definitely neglect going on, then she should report it

This

Its not unkind it's the truth. If she doesn't have many boundaries at home she may simply not understand what she's done wrong. You need to explain to her that what she did was rude, and not how you behave in other people's homes.

How old are the children?

Why don't you want to answer how old they are? Is it because they're 15? 😆

Or isn't really true

@Jacesmum1977

If she is being neglected

If she's been neglected of course.

OP hasn't suggested anything of the sort. Just that she is annoying. And OP wants advice on how to say go away.

Social services are not the parenting police that you call when a child annoys you and eats your chocolate.

So yes it's ridiculous

I'd have done this a long time ago.