Next doors daughter again!!

[Notthattimeofthemonth]

Posted on a previous thread about next door daughter coming round our house all the time and just disrupting everything Climbing on furniture and damaging things.

I came back off holiday on Friday and brought DS a huge tub of his favourite chocolate from duty free. He has been saving them and only having a handful each time.

She came round on Saturday and DS showed her the chocolate what I brought. Soon as he left the room to go outside and play she ate the whole tub!!!! Baring in mind this is a huge tub of chocolate.

DS was so angry never seen him get this angry and he came and told me and said he wanted her out the house. She promised to replace them but hasn’t. They don’t have much money so I don’t expect it.

She keeps calling round everyday and I have been saying no as DS doesn’t want her here. It’s getting to the point where it’s embarrassing sending her back home 2-3 times a day.

How can I word this nicely to her mum that I don’t want her coming round. She’s a compulsive liar and a nasty little girl. (As horrible as it sounds)

Put a sign on the door addressed to her saying not to knock as your DS does not want to play. If you do answer the door, just keep saying no and tell her not to come back.

I don't understand why this DC is coming over to your house and then being so unsupervised for so long that she can eat a huge tub of chocolates?

The only person you should be angry with is yourself. You are an adult aren't you? This isn't someone breaking into your home are they? You are opening the door with a smile on your face then bitching about a child. You say she's an awful child but want to tip toe and dance around her? Go speak to the parents and make it clear that your son isn't interested in playing.

you do not need to supply a reason.bad seeds are not your problem

This is your fault. Your son didn't let her in - you did.

You need to replace your son's chocolate.

Next time she rings, you open the door and say 'You are not allowed here any more after you stole DS's chocolate. Go home.'

No shit!

Well, this kid is going to keep coming back if you don't rock the boat, unfortunately. She appears to have rhino hide for skin, so you'll have to either just continue to say 'no' until it finally sinks in or be a bit more blunt (or stop opening the door to her). There's not a pleasant way to do it, really.

(But also, your son shouldn't have shown her the chocolate. I don't remember if you've said how old he is, but this is a good time to learn that sometimes it's best to keep our most valued possessions away from other people. Not everything has to be shared or even mentioned.)

Your son showed her the chocolates, did he offer her any.
If not not a nice thing to do. Why bother showing her?

What if the child isn't being fed at home ? That's not very well thought out.

Had a similar issue. Used to be lots of kids on our street in and out of each other's houses and playing in the street (very quiet) which was lovely. My DC loved it. I loved it. But then another child moved to the street who was an absolute nightmare. Didn't respect people's homes, kids' toys, bedrooms etc. Was mean to the little children. It got to the point that if he came out to play the others would vanish back inside their own houses. He really upset DS one day and I decided to not let him in again - and I didn't. Very very simple.

OP you don't have to let this child into your house. No is a full sentence. However is this child being adequately cared for? A child who's scoffing chocolate. Maybe she's just got no impulse control but is she definitely being fed properly at home? I'd be concerned as well that she is not being supervised. I know that I would be supervising my own child well enough to know that she was going next door and I would have told her that 'no means no' and to leave you alone the first time she was turned away. You are absolutely right to set boundaries but I would be a bit concerned about how well this 'horrible girl' is being cared for based on what you've said

Feel like age is very relevant here only read first page of thread so apologise if you mentioned on second page she sounds neglected and starved poor kid call social services if all is fine at least it will put the parents off letting her go round yours again

why does she want to come round so much? Is she being fed? I’d be worried about her tbh

I Have so many questions… where are her parents? Why is she so unhappy at home to want to be at yours every day?
Do you get on with her parents? What is her home life situation…?
Is she eating all the chocolates because she is greedy or starving? Etc

Of course she keeps knocking because you're so inconsistent . She knows you'll give in sometimes. You have to say every single time, "no he doesn't want to play, sorry." She will stop knocking. If I was your son I'd be so annoyed, that my mum was such a wet drip and wasn't able to say no! Just keep saying no.

Or she’s just a greedy and compulsive child.

Get a Ring video doorbell. Very useful for not answering the door to cold callers and others you don’t want to speak to (or let in…). Then don’t open the door when she knocks and I’m sure she will get bored of trying soon enough.

What do you want us to say then? 🤷‍♂️

This. Everything. I'd ask the mother when the chocolate will be replaced. I bet the girl will stop then.

Ring doorbell !!!! Then you don’t even have to answer the door. You can say “not today, you need to go home “ without opening the door .

for previous posters - the original post said this child lies about OPs child putting his hand in her food so she doesn’t have to eat it. This child is just greedy not starving.

I'd be honest with her and say that DS doesn't want to play as she ate all of his chocolate that he was saving and that can she please stop knocking. Then I'd just not answer the door to her anymore. It doesn't need to be a telling off, but you do need to tell her in a straightforward way so it's clear.

Have you told her mum about the choc? Have you asked her to stop her coming round? Why do you keep opening the door to her and letting her in? It’s difficult to feel sympathy when you’re doing this to yourself.

So how long did you leave her unsupervised for her to eat a huge tub of chocolates? Seems odd that your son ran off to play without her and she could just sit there gorging on them.

Because he is only a child, I doubt it was to upset her, maybe he was proud. I imagine she was super active and felt pretty sick after eating the whole tub