To feel pleased that neighbour’s kids are being pulled out of private school?

[grengat]

I am friends ish with my neighbour and I do feel very conflicted about this. Since we moved in 5 years ago we have had it ALL about her son’s education. How he’s doing so well, on the path to a brilliant future, all the sports he’s doing… every time we see her she manages to mention something about the bloody school! We could never afford it and she knows this. Anyway… turns out he won’t be going back after Christmas and they are looking round state schools this week. I feel great about it. Finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened. Think I just need a safe space to say it as obviously can’t IRL!

That’s horrible , I can’t believe someone would take pleasure in this
let alone start a post about it!
how awful

Nice! Jealousy is such an ugly trait and to be rubbing your hands in glee in your "safe space" at their change of circumstances is frankly disgusting.

That's awful, must be very hard for that child and the parents will be feeling horrible guilt. Why would you take pleasure in that?

Don't believe it.

What a horrible thing to think or say... I can understand a second or two of schadenfreude, but this is beyond that. Your neighbours must feel awful about having to remove their child from his school, and the boy must be really upset. But I guess that's what you get when the politics of envy is apparently driving future government policy - it brings out the worst in many of us.

THank goodness you’re not my neighbour; that’s so petty.

Schadenfreude is actually a normal thing to feel - "pleasure derived from another person's misfortune". However, in this case it's taking pleasure in the misfortune of children, not adults, which is less normal.

So a child is being disadvantaged, is unhappy and a family is clearly having a rough time, but you don't have to hear about a private school anymore so you're happy?

I think you were massively jealous that you couldn't afford it in the first place and now you're delighting in their struggles.

Speaks volumes.

if all schools has the same books, equipment etc, it still comes down to the individual

Did she make your dc feel worthless?
Surely if you’re a good parent it would take more than a neighbour’s comment to knock your dc’s confidence.

Personally I think you have a massive chip on you shoulder.

Dd’s friends dm constantly bigged up her dc.
Water off a ducks back for me because my dd is a very different dc. The two girls are still good friends and I’m friends with the dm.

Your kids could never be doctors and lawyers?? Really?? I really hope you haven't told them that. I have a teen in a terrible school my older son failed terribly there, he was also bullied terribly. My son currently there is a grade 7 to 8 student. His behaviour is impeccable and I tell him almost daily that I could not be more proud of him and his efforts. I tell him if he keeps this up he can do absolutely anything in life, shoot for the stars and he does everyday.

Focus on your kids OP not keeping up with the neighbours

Careful, you'll get a response that the person in poverty can just work harder to afford holidays

I am afraid I would feel this way too no matter that it makes me a bad person.

You can feel desperately sorry for the kid AT THE SAME TIME as feeling his mother has had a bit of humble pie in return for all her boasting. We are all proud of our children but putting other kids down by suggesting that they will not achieve as much as her child simply because they pay for private schooling is just as mean.

I am not above a bit of schadenfreude personally.

People on here are being very disingenuous .
Op started the thread because the parents wanked on about the private school knowing Op couldn't afford it.

Bet if this was Rishi or Boris kids having to go state everyone would be " fair enough"

The kid will get fine given 93% of the population goes state. Why wouldn't he still have the friends he's made or be good at sport or excel academically?

I think it's hard not to feel a small hint of shadenfraude, no matter how saintly one is, when a boasty person hits a bit of a snag. It's human. However, I'm not sure I could be QUITE as gleeful as you, OP! Your post is a bit unpleasant, but I appreciate you are just letting off steam- I'm glad you have outlet for your feelings here and I hope that in real life you can be a kind support to these people (especially their little boy.)

This is what I’d tell my children was an “inside Thought”

You’re only human and the boasting surely was annoying but you don’t need to enjoy this out loud!

I be expect you will be complaining soon that her son is doing so well at state school. You sound pretty unpleasant.

Only private?

Some state school parents can be absolutely disgusting? judging by OP

OP, a question from me please before I continue reading through the thread

You mention your neighbour would look down on your child about the things (sorry, I'm paraphrasing) or experiences that were out of reach in state schools.

Can you give an example of this has been worded. I'm genuinely curious as would like to consider whether any of my interactions with folk are viewed in the same way. If people ask why one of my children doesn't go to our local state school I do explain that they go to a school more suited to their needs and why they this environment is best for them. I also have a child at an excellent state school also and wax lyrical about it too.

Neighbours will observe that we travel a fair amount so if they ask, in passing, I'll tell them where we've been to. Never unsolicited but through chit chat.

So, you can see, I can see how my interactions may be received in the same light.

No not at all.

I'm a firm believer in whats destined to be yours can only be yours and no one else can have what is meant for you. And what others have is whats destined for them.

I don't ever hope for anyone to be taken down a peg because I also believe if we wish ill for others then the same can happen to us.

Live and let live. Let people have their moments of joy, pride or smugness if you want to call it that. Learn to do better for yourself or accept what you have without being jealous of others.

Happiness at someones downfall and wrongly believing it will benefit you somehow is nothing to be proud of.

That’s just horrible. It can be really devastating to a kid to have to leave their school.

Do you think OP is a state school parent?

The crabs in a barrel mentality in this country is insane.

The OP should be ashamed. I bet she’s the type in the office with the following comments:

‘ooh off on holiday again?!’
‘ooh another new handbag?!
’ooh you’re lucky to have got that role!

It’s so depressing and is part of the reason why the country is the way it is.

I dont blame you OP.
Sounds like she was super annoying about it. I dont like the idea of private schools in general, as they dont have to follow the national curriculum that state schools do, which is so clearly unfair.

So we hold some kids back who can have great opportunities just because others can’t afford them?