To feel pleased that neighbour’s kids are being pulled out of private school?

[grengat]

I am friends ish with my neighbour and I do feel very conflicted about this. Since we moved in 5 years ago we have had it ALL about her son’s education. How he’s doing so well, on the path to a brilliant future, all the sports he’s doing… every time we see her she manages to mention something about the bloody school! We could never afford it and she knows this. Anyway… turns out he won’t be going back after Christmas and they are looking round state schools this week. I feel great about it. Finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened. Think I just need a safe space to say it as obviously can’t IRL!

What’s that got to do with anything? Don’t some NT children also go to private school?

I think you’ll find Starmer has spent the additional
money raised several times over already so there won’t be much additional help.

Do the math, it isn't hard. With mortgage, bills etc it's not an easy choice.

And if you say you wouldn't send your children to a private school given the opportunity you would be a liar.

Just because all our MPs went to private school, you think that just granted them instant access to the opportunity to be PM one day? You don't think they had to graft? I bet you benefited from furlough or wfh opportunity? I didn't

Meh. Op is only human. In the same situation I would bet that many people would secretly think the same.

I once worked with an insufferable woman who had a husband with a very well-paid job plus fairly wealthy parents (and boy did we get to hear about it, nearly every conversation was about her flashing the cash in some way and making sure people knew it). She bought a new house. Good grief, we heard every detail about it. It was brag after brag after brag. How huge. How expensive. How lucky she felt. How secure, buying their forever home. How she couldn't wait for her dc's to see their massive new bedrooms. She just didn't know how they'd coped for so long in a three bed, it was no way to live and her new house had five bedrooms which was just what they needed - all this was said in front of her team, several of whom lived in far smaller houses with dc or were renting, which she knew full well. Zero shame.

We were shown photos of it that we all 'hmmm nice'-d over. We got to hear her discussions with her mortgage broker as she made many calls at her (open) desk. Clearly calls designed to impress, along the lines of 'Oh two more weeks? WHY is it taking so long Stephen? Is it just because the mortgage amount is so high?'

Anyway, she bought the damn house and then we got to hear about how perfect it was to live in for many months after that 🙄

A couple of years later I came across the house on Zoopla and heard through the grapevine that her husband had lost his job, forcing the sale. I'm not a total bitch, I said nothing to her but a few months later she moved back to a very similar 'tiny three bed' to the one she'd left. When someone asked her about moving again she spun a whole story about how they'd decided they really wanted something 'cosier' so they could spend more family time together and the new tiny house was just in the BEST place etc...😂

I'd be lying if I said I got no (secret) pleasure out of it.

Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine any brighter.

I had to move our youngest into private school because of bullying in main stream. The difference is incredible (though I'm EXTREMELY aware that bullying happens everywhere). I am not anti the VAT either but bloody hell we're going to have to tighten all belts.

As for a level playing field, this is where I get really upset! No government for years and years regardless of colour, has invested in our education system. It's shit! If you could save your child's life by going private would you? If you could make your child's schooling a joy would you. My child is so happy and I am really enjoying her loving life!

But unlike your neighbour I am embarrassed to tell people face to face and some of my family don't 'speak' about it.

It's actually a pretty normal emotion. I'm not talking joy at really horrendous things...that's another level. But day to day upsets, secret glee at other people's misfortunes is actually really common. Obviously most people don't admit to it irl.

Obvious troll post by one of the "I love private education bores" yawn try harder 4/10

You’ll see none of that 20%.

Nothing will change for your child, or anyone else in state school as a result of this policy.

The only thing which will increase is more genderwoo shit.

Well given she said in front of my dc that ‘somewhere has to produce doctors and lawyers’ … yes I think she’s pretty unkind and made my dc feel worthless.

I think this Is a keeping up with the Jones situation. OP there's more to life than this. Your neighbours will probably move soon anyway with extra thousands per year they can afford to.... I'd advise you not to keep in touch there's clearly no friendship here lol

Said the Facebook meme

Then why are you friends with her?

All kids should start from the same place

But they don’t, do they? Some kids lose a parent early on, others become carers, some have disabilities, some face discrimination on account of their gender, religion, race or ethnicity. Some kids are born to upper class families with money whilst others have parents who don’t know where the next meal is coming from. Some struggle with their mental health whilst others have close supportive families and their peers are estranged from their grandparents. Some children have a parent in prison, others are long-term inmates in mental health institutions. Some have to watch one parent beat the other half to death and still remain in the relationship. A few children are sexually and/or physically and/or mentally and/or emotionally abused and neglected. Some live outside of reasonable access to a school considered to be ‘good’.

What you’re really moaning about is nothing at all. You don’t give a shit about the kids I mention above. You make no reference to how thousands of children are so far down the list of ‘starting from even a half-arsed place’, are disadvantaged. Only how you deem your child to be at a disadvantage compared to your neighbour’s. And let’s be clear, rich kids absolutely are afforded some protection from the shite life throws at us. But money and private schooling don’t protect from cancer and accidents, and disabilities, or domestic violence, mental ill health, drug abuse, crime, alcoholism, abuse of all kinds.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Your comments are deeply unpleasant.

Funny this wasn’t in the original post…

Right?! Come on people.

You sound like a nasty piece of work! Why take joy in someone else’s bad times? You don’t have to like your neighbour but this gleefulness is a really ugly trait.

Why? Because she talked about her kids school?

people do, comes up in most conversations with neighbours.

being gleeful at your neighbours is just lain nasty.

Some private school parents can be tactless but come on OP.

That’s horrible , I can’t believe someone would take pleasure in this
let alone start a post about it!
how awful

I hadn’t heard this phrase before, but it’s so true.

Yeah that is unkind but also not true. If that were my kid I'd have said I don't care what you do in life, just don't end up like her....

I'd have made sure my kid knew they could be anything they wanted if they worked hard enough, what I wouldn't do is sink as low by being delighted at her sons misery. He isn't the one who said it after all.

You just perceive she is looking down on your DC. Probably just really happy with the school, and sharing it with you. If you despise her so much, why do you speak to her? If you weren’t fake, and pretending to be friendly, then you wouldn’t be talking to her anyway, so would be none the wiser about her children and private schooling.