To feel pleased that neighbour’s kids are being pulled out of private school?

[grengat]

I am friends ish with my neighbour and I do feel very conflicted about this. Since we moved in 5 years ago we have had it ALL about her son’s education. How he’s doing so well, on the path to a brilliant future, all the sports he’s doing… every time we see her she manages to mention something about the bloody school! We could never afford it and she knows this. Anyway… turns out he won’t be going back after Christmas and they are looking round state schools this week. I feel great about it. Finally my kids are on a level playing field with this kid and I am glad it’s happened. Think I just need a safe space to say it as obviously can’t IRL!

Wow, how envious were you. 😱

Just because all our MPs went to private school, you think that just granted them instant access to the opportunity to be PM one day? You don't think they had to graft? I bet you benefited from furlough or wfh opportunity? I didn't

what on earth does furlough and remote working have to do with anything?!

Wow. Just ‘wow’. If you find yourself basking in another person’s misfortune, you need to work on yourself.

OP, hopefully her son gets a random head injury and then you'll really have the upper hand!

wtf! The child is moving schools, not ideal but his life isn’t over.

😅😅

This exactly 💯. Poor kid will have huge upheaval.

What a horrible post - being gleeful about another persons misfortune - particularly a child - I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

Education choices and random head injuries are hardly comparable

The Politics of Envy
For whom will you vote OP?

I’m sure someone has already mentioned this but I am pretty sure you won’t feel so smug when your children’s class sizes rocket.

In the last year I have had my mind opened regarding private schools and I have learnt that it isn't quite as black and white as 'they are rich and entitled'. I would have felt a little of your smugness once but the reasons that people send their children to paid for institutions are more complicated than you realise. And some pay over a hundred grand for their kids to come out with only mediocre results.

I know you were irked and her gloating but again you may not know where that is coming from, and aren't we all super proud of our offspring doing well?

We have not been party to the ongoing comments so can't fully appreciate your situation but perhaps you could be the bigger person and have a little more compassion (if only secretly).

It's a very devise topic...

I can see that the gloating would be annoying TBH. I’ve spoken to several mums who’ve moved their DC from state to private who brag constantly about how much better their private school is than state - I don’t understand the need to show off about how great their school is to people who really can’t afford it (like me). Perhaps it’s a need to justify the extra expense?

State school parent here FWIW. Anyway, YABVU.

It makes me so sad that a grown adult is so driven by bitterness and envy that they delight in the upheaval of children being forced to change schools through no fault of their own.

Just plain nasty.

Couple of PP's have mentioned stretching to pay fees, which I dont get.

I can understand stretching for a house purchase because (in theory) house prices rise, wages rise etc so the LTV falls and in the worst case scenario the house can be sold and you downsize to something more affordable. But stretching to the limit for school fees makes no sense as if something has to "give" then its a childs education which to me is far too important to fuck about with. Surely its better to save the fees and spend it on educational experiences with holidays, trips etc, a tutor or study group....that sort of thing?

I genuinely cant see that its worth the risk, especially in recent years when the talk of VAT on fees has been knocking around for a while.

Taking pleasure in a kid going through that disruption … that’s really low OP.

Your attitude makes me feel sad, not just for human nature generally, but for you specifically and how you can’t even see what’s wrong about your outlook on life.

I can understand stretching for a house purchase because (in theory) house prices rise, wages rise etc so the LTV falls and in the worst case scenario the house can be sold and you downsize to something more affordable. But stretching to the limit for school fees makes no sense as if something has to "give" then its a childs education which to me is far too important to fuck about with. Surely its better to save the fees and spend it on educational experiences with holidays, trips etc, a tutor or study group....that sort of thing?

Mns advice re private education is to never stretch yourself in case you can no longer afford it.

@Bananagirl23 I think that's exactly it. Having made the choice to pay for private education, it's understandable parents want to feel secure in their choices. Sadly, in some people, that turns into bragging

When he starts at the new school be sure to ask lots of questions about it at every opportunity. Maybe even ask if she still keeps in touch with the mums at the private school 😂

And plenty of private school parents can't see anything wrong with their outlook on life

I’m sure someone has already mentioned this but I am pretty sure you won’t feel so smug when your children’s class sizes rocket.

Its not going to happen though

Nasty.

You sound bitter and vindictive. If you were that bothered you could have disengaged years ago. You’re not obliged to talk to your neighbours.

If you don’t believe in private education, fine. But if it bothered you that much, you had years to reduce this relationship to the odd nod of hello when you’re taking the bins out. Instead you’ve seethed for five years and are now gleeful that a child is having to change schools, which can be a disruptive experience. It’s not your neighbour who comes off poorly here.

No one feels like this and shares it with the rest of the world, this surely cannot be real. Maybe it's the kind of thread that does reverse psychology? Perhaps, the OP wants people to feel appalled at her and therefore at anyone who is for PS VAT.

Misinformation and scaremongering. Low birth years coming through amongst other reasons why this isn't guaranteed to happen.