Overheard convo - tell friend?

[camiclairi]

Yesterday I went for drinks with some friends after work, couple of us brought our partners.
One of my friends is in a relatively new relationship, I haven't got a great feeling about him but she seems happy.

At one point in the evening my friend went to the bathroom, I then overheard her boyfriend talking to a stranger.
The stranger asked what his girlfriend did and he replied (she's work in events and marketing for a large very well known museum) saying what she does and followed it with "so not very bright but looks good on my arm" the stranger asked if she went to uni and he said "yeah but one of those pointless degrees that need banning" (English Lit & Classics at St Andrews ..... hardly Mickey Mouse stuff!), she also has a masters from Kings College! He then went into talking about his finance and economics degree.
She came back before anything else was said and the convo moved on.
However it's sat weird with me that he would talk about her this way. I think my friend is a genuinely intelligent, and extremely knowledgeable person, probably more so than many many people working in the city (I say as one of those people). I feel she deserves someone who is proud of her achievements and doesn't aim to diminish them. She is from an Uber wealthy background so I guess felt no need to do a job or degree she doesn't love!
I'm now thinking I should tell her I overheard this but other friends think I should keep out and she will realise sooner or later - or maybe she already knows and is fine with it.

AIBU wanting to tell friend?

I would tell her. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who only thought of me as someone who made them look good.

I would absolutely tell her. Do it kindly of course and stating that you care about her and you think she should know but do not have any expectations about what she will do with the information and don’t keep bringing it up afterwards.

Bloody hell. Raise your bar.

This 💯

She'll prefer being arm candy to respected intellectual.

I said what I said.

I’m shallow with myself. I have no problems holding my hands up. I’d rather be called not very bright that ugly.

What a strange list of questions from a stranger.
Could possibly imagine someone in the group asking, but a stranger?

Tell her. He clearly didn't want that man thinking his girlfriend was more intelligent than him and that is a massive red flag just to start with, the whole thing makes him sound like a misogynistic twat.

Me too. I'm very clever and I'm fully aware of it. I have zero insecurities on that score. Being hot though, well that's another matter.

I would have told her immediately tbh. Do it sooner rather than later.

How did you manage to overhear this convo? Was your group seated or were standing around with your drinks and you happened to be in the vicinity of the boyfriend?

Urgh! What a prick! Tell her!

Tell her.

He sounds like he's laying the foundations for a very toxic relationship.

I would tell her in a matter of fact manner without pointing out that her boyfriend is a jealous prick.
What she chooses to do with this information is up to her.
He may deny that the conversation took place so be prepared for her not to believe you

That’s not shallow. Thats low self esteem. You can’t see ‘cleverness’ but objective beauty is something you can be admired for at a glance. So you need your validation to be momentary and give instant gratification rather than on the bases of your whole being. I’m sure you have your reasons as to why this is how you feel comfortable with yourself.

I was going to say that he was showing off in front of his friend, but re-reading it that really does sound vile. I’d tell her. I’d love her to say to him “yes, I studied English and classics. I could have done something dry and boring like economics and finance, but then I’d have ended up as f-ing dry and boring as you.”

😂

We were round a table, friend was between me and boyfriend so when she went to the bathroom there was no one, I was scrolling my phone so not in a conversation.
Friend and her boyfriend were talking to this guy before she went to the bathroom. As soon as she went to the bathroom the guy said "so what is it you and and your girlfriend do" which led to him saying his job, then friends and all the associated comments.

I wasn't intentionally listening but they were the closest conversation and not being very quiet!

See my later comment!

I can't believe this is even a question. Of course you should tell your friend.

See later comment!

Absolutely tell her. I’d want to know if someone I was seeing said that about me. You can’t control how she will take the news or if she will believe you, but it’s the right thing to do, regardless.

I would tell her.

I had a friend like this, they got married. 3 years into their marriage he became a banker and said, "I want a divorce, because now I'm at this stage in my career I can have a better class of women now."

His actual words.

And instead of telling him to do one, she was embarrassed because she thought she wasn't good enough.

Your friend needs to bin him off first, and now.