Starmer, JKR, what's most important to most women?

[PupInAPram]

In my more than 60 years, decades of being a single working parent, many experiences of being on the bones of my arse, Labour Party policies have made huge beneficial differences in my day-to-day life. Worrying if there is a man in the next toilet or feeling uncomfortable with a trans woman has literally never been on my radar. If I'm making a decision about voting for the politician who can bring about the greatest good for the greatest number, it's Starmer every time. I wish JKR would just pipe down.

I agree.

YANBU to not have the issue impact your vote with everything else going on.

YABU for thinking JK should pipe down. She's as entitled to an opinion as anyone else.

Today she has bounced Labour into talking about single sex spaces instead of their usual fluff on 'safe spaces' so...

How old are your children? And what sex are they?

JKR should pipe down? My god, what a view that is.

With respect, maybe it’s because you’re older that it doesn’t bother you? I have an infant daughter, who is about to go through her life. Maybe I don’t care so much for me (although I think it’s disgusting using unisex loos with men), but I care for her. I don’t want her life to be unfair where she might need to compete against men, at risk with men in changing rooms, hospitals etc.

i also have an issue with politicians bending so far forward to accommodate the minority due to social media pressure etc. and people generally being shut down and not allowed to have discussions lest they be yelled at. It’s not a good situation and these things go hand in hand tbh.

With respect @PupInAPram it’s about so very much more than feeling uncomfortable. So YABU to not recognise the privilege of not having ever been forced to understand why men in female spaces is so threatening.

As OP is knocking on 60 I should imagine her children are in the adult range.

YABVU to reduce this issue not only just to toilets, but to the fact that you personally feel comfortable with a man in the next toilet to you. I wish that the people who think it's just about toilets would pipe down.

With respect @Quittingwifework it has bigger all to do with age. I am the same age as OP and couldn’t disagree more.

If you're over 60 you should be able to remember a time when there were men called transvestites, who wore (usually) inappropriate women's clothes in public.
Would you have been OK if they'd been allowed in all women's spaces back then? And where do you think they've disappeared to?

OP, in not too many years you may well need to be an inpatient in a hospital or need personal / intimate care.

How would you feel about an obviously male HCP with a badge that says "she/her" treating / examining you? Or an obviously male carer with the same badge toiletting and washing you?

I agree that whilst it’s an important point, issues such as healthcare and education are far more important in terms of their daily impact on a huge amount of people.

YABVU; I am someone who has to spend regular spells in hospital including psychiatric wards, and your callous attitude towards women less well off than you is shocking.

It's not that I feel uncomfortable, it's that I, nor anyone I have ever discussed it with, have ever encountered someone who is obviously a man in a ladies loo. I've lived half my life in the South and half in the North, admittedly mostly in poorer areas, and have never come across a man dressed as a woman in a public loo.

Once you understand for yourself how the trans activist lobby has made life far, far harder for the most vulnerable women in society then you'll get it.

Not only that but I presume until then, you're fine to be referred to as a "menstruator", "cervix-haver" or "person with a vagina" and receive rape and death threats if you disagree....

I presume you're fine for children with neuro diversity or sex abuse history who present with gender issues to be sterilised and put on a lifetime path of medical intervention.

There is a very dangerous (for women and children) ideology firing away and no one seems to notice or care.

I commend JKR. She's a powerhouse against the insanity.

Worrying if there is a man in the next toilet or feeling uncomfortable with a trans woman has literally never been on my radar.

Well, lucky you. It is an issue for many women who will not be able to use services set up for females if men have carte blanche to enter them, where do they go? Stay at home?

It is not just about toilets ffs, why do those who are so blase about men in women's spaces, services, sports, refuges, etc., always want to reduce and limit the discussion to toilets?

Men, however they identify, whatever they are wearing, whatever cosmetic, chemical or surgical body modifications they have done to themselves and whether or not they have a piece of paper which is a legal fiction should not be in anything designed and set up for the use of females.

Women’s rights are most important to me and my young daughter. The cheek of you saying a woman giving an articulate and informed view on something you clearly know nothing about should ‘pipe down’.

“Pipe down”? How lovely wanting to shut women up raising concerns about the treatment of women.

I’m intending to vote Labour but I also think Starmer has been absolutely dreadful on this issue and his lack of backing for Duffield in particular. And the only reasons he has moved on his position (where he keeps trying to draft his way out of the problem without success) is because of pressure from women like Rowling. So don’t pipe down Jo, keep on piping up.

I understand that one of his female candidates, Rosie Duffield (a DV victim in the past) has been unable to attend her own hustings because of threats to her safety.

Whether or not people agree with her views on the issue that's prompted the threats to her safety, is irrelevant. If someone disagrees with her, the hustings is actually the ideal opportunity to (calmly, without violence or violent rhetoric) challenge any views or policy plans through debate and questions.

From what I understand Starmer hasn't supported her in being able to safely attend her hustings?

That doesn't exactly inspire faith in his willingness to address VAWG. Not when he's not even tackling it when it happens to one of his own candidates.

Disabled women who want female carers for intimate care.

Women in prison, forced to share prison cells and showers with intact men.

Women in domestic abuse shelters, homeless hostels or trying to access single sex rape crisis counselling.

None of these vulnerable women are on your radar. Ask yourself why any political party should hold our rights to ransom? If your partner was telling you that ''you can have some more housekeeping but in return you'll have to give up seeing your friends'', you'd recognise it for what it is.

The rehetoric about trans people in toilets mirrors exactly the homophobia of 40 years ago. It’s horrifying how easily it’s being used to distract from much more pressing matters that affect the country as a whole.
and Yes we can worry about more than thing at once, of course, but it’s becoming the main focus a lot of the time even though it affects a small % of people.
No govt is going to eliminate trans people’s existence and no govt knows how to handle the nuances of trans acceptance in what are fairly rigid societal rules about who is allowed where etc. It’s a learning curve for all. But we need better education, mental health support, medical knowledge etc. All big hoops for whatever govt to jump but necessary for the safety of everyone, men, women, children and trans folk. The “men dressed as ladies in the loos” thing is just so obviously a distraction. There are unisex loos in Wagamama for goodness sake.

I've never had cancer and no one I know has had cancer, so why should I want my tax money going to find it's treatment?
Doesn't affect me, it doesn't exist.

Blimey, that's quite the leap there about my opinions. JKR is privileged in every sense of the word. She is rich and has a platform. She is of course entitled to her view. I'm just saying that on balance, damaging Starmer's chances of getting a majority will be more harmful to most women in many more areas of life than not.

I also don't understand why you feel the need for JKR to "just pipe down"? She's entitled to her views as much as anyone else. You're not compelled to agree with her.

Whether or not you agree with whatever she's saying, so what? Do you need to decide who to vote for by seeing who someone famous likes or doesn't like?

Don't you have your own opinions?