Is this inappropriate? Family photo.

[condecco]

My friend just lost her child to cancer less than 2 weeks ago. Obviously she’s broken

Her best friend yesterday updated her Facebook to change a profile photo to a family photo (her, her partner and her two children). Proper staged photo, posed, on holiday all matching outfits and sunglasses.

Friend who lost her child has liked the photo. Aibu and thinking too much into this. I just wouldn’t so soon after my BEST friend lost her child be uploading happy family photos of my children/immediate family within 10 days of this .. just reminding her of what she’s now lost.

Nothing anyone can say or do will make the death of a child anymore painful.

I am a bereaved parent.

This is absolutely fine. You're over thinking it.

As someone who lost my child when she was a toddler, nothing anyone does or doesn't do makes the loss any less painful.

Reminding her? As if she might have forgotten?

she sounds very insensitive

She won’t need reminding by a friend’s Facebook photograph that her child recently died. She’ll be very aware.

When I lost my son I appreciated my friends who didn't give me big sad eyes and walk on eggshells around me.
I don't have any other children living and I 100% love all my friends kids and didn't stop asking about them or seeing them when I lost my son.
And as much as its lovely you being a caring friend, trust me a picture of a child doesn't remind us of what we've lost. My boy is my first thought every morning and last thought going to sleep, always will be.

My DD died a few years ago, this would have made no difference to me whatsoever. The thing that did bother me was people with minor issues getting very upset. I was glad to see people happy.

Oh yes, clearly after 10 days she will have forgotten and moved on.

Any need for such snark? Or are you just generally like that as a human being?

You are definitely overthinking. If your friend who has sadly lost her child has ‘liked’ the photo as you say, then she doesn’t have a problem with it. There is no point being offended on her behalf.

You are seeing offence where it doesn’t exist.

I've lost a child and I don't think they should hold back posting the photo. It feels odd but the world does continue even in the face of losing a child. It's not anymore hurtful than the fact your child is missing anyway.

I don’t think it would have been meant to “remind her what she’s lost”. People are far too absorbed in social media and analysing every action assuming the worst. Surely friend was simply on holiday and posted a family photo? And surely your friend wouldn’t have needed a reminder, she’s probably not overthinking social media posts at this time.

It’s absolutely tragic what has happened to the other friend but not everything every person she knows does for the next few weeks is going to be directed to her. People won’t be thinking 100% of the time about someone else. I’m sure people are sympathetic in person to her and supporting her when they see/ speak to her but you can’t expect everyone’s lives to be paused while she goes through this. People will still have holidays, family events and happy times. It’s why grief is so hard because the world doesn’t stop BUT your friend wouldn’t wish for everyone else to never be happy with their families again either. You can be grieving and still happy for your friends and their families.

Do you often try to start drama?

Has your friend said anything about the photo or told you it has upset her. Sorry to hear about the poor child, that's tough.

It was you who said this photo would remind her of what she lost.

I think that answers the question @ClickClickety asked about you often trying to start drama though.

I think it's a little insensitive of her friend and wouldn't have done it myself.

I see what you are saying but you don't know that the two of them didn't have a conversation and the posting of the photo encouraged.

Your friend 'liked' it. She wouldn't have done that if she had an issue.

Not your offence to be had.

It’s not reminding her of what has been lost, it’s the opposite, it is saying that the child will never be forgotten. If the bereaved parent has liked it (and presumably also feels that it is a signal that the loss isn’t going to be overlooked) then that tells you all that you need to know I think.

I think it’s fine and you’re overthinking it.

People can still post pictures of their own families.

Not your place to take offence

I was literally about to post this

I'm so sorry for everyone's losses on this thread xx

How am I starting drama? I’ve said nothing to no one apart from post on here.