Boyfriend wants me to put his car under my car insurance

[CrossingBoundaries007]

Sorry for the log post. First for the backstory I have been dating this he's really nice, kind, affectionate, not stingy etc. He has expressed a desire to to marry me. He is divorced with 3 kids.

The issue is that when we met he told me about his bad credit. I wasn't really sure why but he had some debt, so hasn't been able to get a mortgage but he is self employed (contractor) earns comfortably so he's been trying to pay it off.

The issue now is recently he's found it hard to pay his bills. He works hard but the contacts have not been as consistent and many don't pay as well as before. He's just told me he can't pay his car insurance which was really high and he can't pay his rent and he pays the rent of his ex wife ) (in full) who the children live with and he has a child in a fee private school school fees is around 7k. He never discussed his choice to put his child in private school with me he just told me after the fact and that's a big part of my he has large outgoings. He's now finding it hard to pay that also.

The insurance company have cancelled his insurance for not paying and he really needs his car to drive to work which can be very far away sometimes.

i want to help him I suggested speaking to citizens advice etc but he's suggested I put his car under my name so he can continue to drive it. He has about 12 points on his licence (speeding) and is at risk of losing his licence which he's going to court for to appeal.

I feel bad for him but what would you wise ladies do in this situation. A I being unreasonable to say no. I'm a single mum btw.

He’s got 12 points he sounds like a boy racer. The next speeding letter he gets he will ask you to take the blame as it’s usually just a driving course, then it’ll be it’s only 3 points, take them for me babe.
Engage your brain, say no and I’d question your relationship with him.

Don’t marry him or let him move in with you.

Say no to the insurance as it’s illegal and fraudulent and the policy would be void in the event of a claim, so don’t do it. If he is the main driver and owner of the vehicle this must be declared plus any points on licence. He doesn’t sound like much of a catch .

His redeeming qualities? He's a very devoted father. Very affectionate and loving 🙈 helps out around the house when he comes over. Great sense of humour, doesn't cheat. He's generous as well (I know what you're thinking)

If he insures his car with you, that means you're the main driver and he is an additional driver. You have to decide if you want to use your no claims bonus on this car or your other car. If he has an accident then you lose them all if it's not protected. The car insurance is not what needs dealing with here. He needs to go back to court to say he cannot afford private school anymore and stop paying it. They will look at his income and decide. Has it even been court approved? Or did he just agree it with is ex? If so he needs to talk to her. I'd take a take a step back from this relationship, he's over relying on you for money and that's not good.

Fuck no.

He sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen.

Enabling us doing something for another person that they could do for themselves.

If he's asking you to take out a policy for his car which has you as the main driver although he is the one who will be using it, that is called fronting and it's a form of fraud and illegal. (I used to sell car insurance). Please don't do that.

And everything everyone else has said, sorry but he sounds like a walking red flag.

redeeming qualities? He's a very devoted father. Very affectionate and loving 🙈 helps out around the house when he comes over. Great sense of humour, doesn't cheat. He's generous as well (I know what you're thinking)

1. Devoted Father: No he is not. A Devoted father wouldn't be in a financial mess, living beyond his means and put his child/ren in a situation where he cannot cover basic bills (you admit you have loaned him money.
2. Affectionate and loving - eh, a given in ANY relationship.
3. Helps around the house when he comes over - he is getting (assume) free meal, a comfortable place to stay and sex
4. Doesn't Cheat again, a given in a relationship.

OP, you need therapy to understand why you think you are so unworthy of love that you could accept a piece of garbage into your and your child's life.

How old are you?
How long are you with this leech?

Of course he is... he sees you as easy to manipulate to get money and insurance from.

Great dads don't use people they are dating to prop up insurance because they can't be bothered to slow down.

Great partners don't ask this of their partner. They don't use their partner in this way.

Love bombing, your too blind to see it

I don't think you're going to listen to and end up in a mess after you add him.

You seem to be too deep already from way you post about him.

Even putting the car in your name, he still has to have insurance, even if added to your policy I cannot see any insurer wanting to insure him with 12 points on his license.

Because if you put him in your policy as an additional named diver all his previous “form” will be included on your policy and your premium will increase accordingly.

As his poor driving history means he can’t afford insurance why would paying his share of your premium be any different? He’s just hoping you will pay.

I think you can expect a lot of that if you continue a relationship with him.

I'm sorry but with "doesn't cheat" you've set the bar quite low. That should just be a given. He shouldn't be generous with his money if he's so skint that he has to lend money off you. That's being irresponsible. I say this kindly, but your a Mum not a teenager x

1. The issue is that when we met he told me about his bad credit.
2. I wasn't really sure why but he had some debt, so hasn't been able to get a mortgage
3. but he is self employed (contractor) earns comfortably so he's been trying to pay it off.
4. The issue now is recently he's found it hard to pay his bills. He works hard
5. but the contacts have not been as consistent and many don't pay as well as before.
6. He's just told me he can't pay his car insurance which was really high and
7. he can't pay his rent and
8. he pays the rent of his ex wife ) (in full) who the children live with and he
9. has a child in a fee private school school fees is around 7k.
10. The insurance company have cancelled his insurance for not paying and he really needs his car to drive to work which can be very far away sometimes.
11. He has about 12 points on his licence (speeding) and is at risk of losing his licence which he's going to court for to appeal.

I've numbered the reasons in your original email to show why you shouldn't even think about lending him any more.
He is a financial disaster which will implode when he loses his licence.

For your own financial future say no to the car insurance, no to him moving in (which will be next) and no to marriage (which means your own and your own kids financial security will be trashed).

You’re right, he needs to go to citizens advice and step change to truly sort his mess out, not relying on you to dig him out of financial chaos. It’s very strange he’s not taken these steps, it says a lot about him!!

so stick with dating (if you must) but don’t take it any further. The max I would do is lend him £100 as long as he pays it back.

If he has had insurance cancelled and 12 points, it will be very high. Just ditch him. He’s telling lies I think about his situation,

I think you already know you can't do this for him. He will start racking up points on your license if you do this.

Soon enough he will be moving in with you and you will be spending a lot more money on him. The end of the day, you have your own child/children to think of so you are not in a position to be financially responsible for him, especially when he's already spending most of his money on his own children. There is no way you should risk your financial security so that he can continue paying for his kid to go to private school!

He sounds irresponsible, nothing attractive about it op

The private school was his idea his ex didn't even know when he applied for it he put his son there cos he was bright and dint get accepted to a state grammar due to distance. I don't even think she was working at the time, she wasn't working during most of the time they were together.

You cannot have him on your insurance as a named driver to get cheeper insurance when he is the owner of the vehicle and he is the main user. It's insurance fraud.

As a side issue this will be a test. If you agree to this there will be something else he needs you to pay for.

Don't do it, if there's an accident his fault or not. You will have to declare it on your insurance for the next 5 years putting your premium up. I'm also sure this is illegal and it used to be called fronting. These are 2 perfectly good reasons for not doing it.

I would do what most other posts say and get rid of him, he might be nice but he has far too much baggage.

12 points???
God almighty.
If you get 8 points on your license within 36 months in California, you risk losing it.
Please use your common sense, OP..
This is a terrible idea. Everyone is telling you it’s a terrible idea. Please listen.

As others have said, you insuring his car in your name in order for him to get insurance/cheaper premiums is fraud. Do not do that.

he’s in a right mess with that now - he will have to declare he’s had his insurance cancelled and it will affect him going forward. Best thing he can do is to go back to his insurers and beg them to reinstate but that is NOT YOUR PROBLEM TO SOLVE.

He needs to stop paying his exes rent, and send his children to state schools. Many of his financial problems would immediately be resolved.

It’s hard to feel you’re not helping someone who presents as in need. You sound like a kind person and he sees that a mile away.

however you don’t know enough about this man. You really don’t. Have you spoken to his ex to verify anything he’s told you?

he’s started already with he can’t pay bills, rent, car and such and asking you to do something he knows is a detriment to you.

think of your own child here. You are a fantastic single mum with a savy financial brain and doing well……he sees that. Don’t lower your standards because this man says he wants to marry you (how? He’s no funds and can’t pay any of his bills).

dont ruin everything you’ve worked hard for to help a grown man do something you know you shouldn’t because of a bit of companionship.

his sob story is designed to escalate ie no bills or rent paid = no home ….so where to live next….no money for car so no car = who pays…..

say no. you’ve given him great advice to speak to CAB and his refusal to do that is enough of a tell in regards to where he really sees his this going…..please don’t ruin what you have built for you and your little one.

😭😭😭
🤧🤧🤧

much older than you think... thanks for the harsh honesty... I needed to hear it. I've ended the relationship several times because of my concerns but he always comes back and I haven't found anyone else who I like 😢