To have said getting a 19 year old a brand new expensive car is ludicrous

[Liolio]

DP has a 19 year old DD, she has just finished her first year of uni at St Andrews. She is quite spoilt but we don't live together/I don't parent her, my kids are younger so I'm not experienced.
Money isn't really relevant to DP, he is from a wealthy family, his DD has a trust fund etc.
His DD is on a sports team, they play in one of the higher leges and often travel as far as Nottingham/Loughborough for fixtures. They need to take equipment etc. The way it is set up is one person can get approved to drive them all and claim millage back. The person who did it this year has now graduated so she has offered.
However she has a BMW 1 series, doesn't think it is big enough to carry all the kit. So DP has said if she decides what bigger car she wants he will get her it (separate from the rust fund!).
She is sending brand new audi's/Mercedes/BMW etc. all worth many thousands and not necessarily more practical than what she has (Think C Class/A5/3 Series).

He doesn't seem to care that it could get damaged/insurance/speed etc.

AIBU to have said this is ludicrous and she shouldn't be getting a big fancy car at 19, not because of money but safety/logic etc.

DP thinks I'm judging his parenting!

I don’t see this as a problem. Do what? She needs an SUV and he can afford it.

nothing to do with you.......

DP thinks I'm judging his parenting!

I’ll judge him for you @Liolio. It’s ridiculous to supply a 19 year old student with 60k car.

This totally smacks of the Sunak sky episode - privileged people who don’t understand the value of money (& despite how hardworking people are most will never be this affluent.)

He's rich. It's a normal car if that's your price range... Why don't they 'understand the value of money', is it because they've actually got it to spend?

Even if I had all the money in the world, if my 19 year old had a 1 series (especially if it was only 2 years old because it was new itself?) what I would be suggesting to them is that they sell it & use the value of the existing asset they have been gifted to buy a vehicle of a size that meets their needs, within the budget they already have available.

Turning posh teenage children into grifting money sponges does them no good whatsoever, and compromises their morals to the extent they end up doing god knows what to continue surrounding themselves with people that generate money they can sponge off for the rest of their lives.

Look at Ghislaine Maxwell...

(or Boris Johnson!)

I have a Fiat 500…I also have an Aston Martin 🤷‍♀️

Like Elon Musk and Richard Branson?

I would shut up, marry him and fingers crossed new car and trust funds all round😂 why are you bothered. He can buy his daughter whatever he wants. Most parents help their children if they can.

I think it's more the impractical choices she's making. If it were a used car, you'd be frustrated that she's not choosing a car that's appropriate to what is required rather than the cost. If she takes care of it, then it's up to your DP. If she crashes it and demands another one - that's a spoilt brat and something will need to be said.

On the flat thing - my IL did this and it saved them a fortune in rental costs. They charged rent for the other room and it covered the cost of the mortgage and running costs so essentially my DH and BIL lived rent free.