Who should be denied cheap flight set up?

[Wayda]

My younger brother is a pilot. For 5+ years I have been lucky enough to get access to very discounted cheap flights. Appreciate that. Has helped my child and I experience many things we simply would not be able to otherwise (single mum). My brother recently mentioned that I along with our other brother need to figure out who will keep the cheap flights. Pilot brother has 5 spots which he can divvy out. He has recently become serious with a girlfriend who he wants to give the discount to.

My brother (not the pilot) is on a far higher salary than me and does not have kids. Yes, he travels more than me but that is due to him having the time to do so. This brother also loaned my younger brother some money to live off whilst training so I think feels entitled to the discounts. He probably earns £80k. Anyway, when we met at the weekend he told me “you had a good run”! The cheek! Assuming I should give up my spot.

Parents witnessed this and did not say anything about their spots. If I were them I would try and help out a single mother. I know it may seem entitled but I’m more hurt by the lack of consideration.

AIBU?

To be fair if you’re the one who has always benefitted up to now then I think your brother is fair to assume it’s now “his turn”

Having 1 discount ticket each is very fair. As it is obviously fair it doesn't need any discussion.

Your brother is not responsible for and shouldn't have to pay (by losing his discount) for your choice to have a child.

You are being so unreasonable. You want to have two spots while your brother who helped fund the training that you benefit from gets none?

The fairest solution is you get one and your brother gets one. You still benefit from a discount, how much money extra is this likely to cost you? A couple of hundreds pounds per holiday? Just pick a cheaper holiday destination that fits your budget seems the solution here?

If pilot brother has children expect that you will eventually lose your spot to them, or is that unfair too as he earns more than you?

If pilot brother marries new girlfriend and they have 3 children, that's the end of everyone's discount!

Sorry, I also agree that 5 years cheap holidays is a heck of a good run. In all honrsty, if I'd been the only one out of the siblings and parents left out of the discount, I'd have been feeling pretty hurt for the last 5 years.

Personally, I'd be opting for the four spots to go to

• you
• your brother
• your two parents

Leaving you to pay for your child's flights at normal cost. You've managed to have "many" of these cheap holidays over five years, so maybe you take a few less and/or you balance them with no flight holidays to keep costs comntrolled now you have to pay for a full fare.

I don't see why anyone should alternate with her to give her two spots
The second spot she has now should go to the pilot brother's girlfriend. The OP can pay for her child or do without. She's still getting her single discounted spot.

To be fair it does sound like you’ve had a good run on it. You and your child have done well out of it. Your brother may well earn more than you but might have a massive mortgage. You have a child. Both big mortgages (it is possible to buy small properties in cheaper areas) and have a child are lifestyle choices. I bet your pilot brother has told you and your other brother to sort it out as he’s bored of the bickering and moaning

You want to have two spots while your brother who helped fund the training that you benefit from gets none?

Yep, this too!

He’s your brother, not the welfare state!

He has something nice to give, none of you should feel so entitled

If I was your brother I would do one each for you, other brother and parents and 2 to girlfriend

Or ask you and parents if you would rather have two each on alternate years.

I’d be bloody grateful to have had help even once. And it was good of other brother to financially support the training that enabled your flight bonanza. You chose to have a child. It doesn’t entitle you to grab what’s going within family generosity.

So your pilot brother gets 5 spots. He wants to give one to his girlfriend and 3 of the other 4 to the people who supported him to get to this job, his parents and the brother who funded his study.

I think that’s fair. you having less money isn’t really a factor. others in the family have supported your brother to be in this position and should be rewarded above those who didn’t.

You need two spots, there’s only one space left but could you have that then pay full price for your DC? You’ll still have a cheaper holiday than if your brother chose a different career.

The fact you seem to think that you should get 2 and your other brother get none is astounding to me - how greedy can you get???

One for you, brother, mum, dad, girlfriend and pay for your child

The way I see it, if you only travel infrequently and your brother travels a lot, the discounts are wasted on you. Why not give the frequent flyer the discounts and suggest they pay you the equivalent discount when you travel. He will save shedloads, you will get the same discount.

Then you say that’s not the decision and talk some more. The fairest option would be you have 1 ticket and your brother has the other. It is very entitled to expect both just because you’re a single mum and your brother is in a better position financially. You would still be paying less if you only had to pay for your DC. Your brother has been very generous so I’d just be grateful and share. Maybe the pilot wants his brother to have one because without him lending him the money to train to become a pilot there would be no tickets at all.

This is it I’m afraid, sure you might be able to go away less but you can still go away.

Everyone has picked up on it. They've asked if alternating would be viable and you haven't answered

But that’s also batshit. Alternating what. Every single year OP gets a free ticket, and every second year the elder brother gets none? How is this an option? Surely each getting one every single year is fair/obvious.

Another also hoping OP’s pilot brother marries his girlfriend and has two kids. Although, from what has been written OP will just be back complaining their parents haven’t given up both their tickets for OP, so ………..

@FancyBiscuitsLevel “So your pilot brother gets 5 spots. He wants to give one to his girlfriend and 3 of the other 4 to the people who supported him to get to this job, his parents and the brother who funded his study.”

I don’t think that’s the scenario. Pilot bro hasn’t picked those 3. He’s very wisely said, “5 have to become 4, I’m not getting dragged into a run-off-to-MN-to-whinge level family drama - you guys sort it and tell me.”

Probably because it never occurred to non-pilot brother that you would have 2 spots whilst he has 0! That would be ridiculously unfair.

You’ve had an amazingly generous gift from your brother for years but unfortunately you seem to have become spoiled by that gift and now feel it’s owed to you indefinitely. It really isn’t. As others have said, your pilot brother possibly wouldn’t have been able to have complete his training if it wasn’t for the generosity of your other brother.

I think if your brother helped the pilot qualify the "debt" is to him and he should keep the spot, especially as there is still one available for you, albeit not the two you enjoy currently.

If it's going to cause a fuss, in the pilot's shoes, I'd withdraw them all.

There's always one...

Op - could you alternate with your brother?

I didn't go abroad with my parents till I was 16, and connected with them just fine. Don't use your child as an excuse for perfectly normal feelings of sibling jealousy.

The absolute no brainer here is you get a discount as does your brother and your child does not. This way you are both get reduced flights regardless if you have to pay full for your child.

I agree.

You and non-pilot both keep one spot and your kid gives up their spot and you pay for their ticket when you do travel.

I mean seems fair.

1. gf
2. mum
3. dad
4. you
5. brother

children are already cheaper. You thinking you deserve two just because you popped out A baby is grabby. Be grateful because if I got wind as the pilot I’d not even offer you one single ticked between you and your child.

Your brother has helped you, your other brother helped your brother and is basically repaying that kindness.

Maybe the gf has a friend she likes then they could take both yours and your child’s tickets for your entitled attitude.