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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should be denied cheap flight set up?

498 replies

Wayda · 20/06/2024 12:54

My younger brother is a pilot. For 5+ years I have been lucky enough to get access to very discounted cheap flights. Appreciate that. Has helped my child and I experience many things we simply would not be able to otherwise (single mum). My brother recently mentioned that I along with our other brother need to figure out who will keep the cheap flights. Pilot brother has 5 spots which he can divvy out. He has recently become serious with a girlfriend who he wants to give the discount to.

My brother (not the pilot) is on a far higher salary than me and does not have kids. Yes, he travels more than me but that is due to him having the time to do so. This brother also loaned my younger brother some money to live off whilst training so I think feels entitled to the discounts. He probably earns £80k. Anyway, when we met at the weekend he told me “you had a good run”! The cheek! Assuming I should give up my spot.

Parents witnessed this and did not say anything about their spots. If I were them I would try and help out a single mother. I know it may seem entitled but I’m more hurt by the lack of consideration.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Testina · 20/06/2024 13:21

“You all had the same life opportunities; one brother is a pilot, the other earns 80K, and you are a single parent, suggesting you are on a low wage.”

It’s just so depressing, isn’t it?
2024 and the chances of 1 woman in a sibling set of 3 being the lowest earner is pretty high.
I’m not blaming OP for that. I also think there’s a high chance that her earnings are compromised by being the one “left holding the baby” - to the benefit of a man. So not a criticism of her, but… just <sigh> you know?

CelesteCunningham · 20/06/2024 13:22

I think the fairest thing is your two parents, you, your brother and girlfriend.

You pay full rate for your child’s ticket, but you get a discount.

And you be very grateful to your pilot brother for being generous (and other brother for supporting his chosen career path.)

Exactly this. You have had a good run of holidays you wouldn't otherwise have been able to afford. Time to share the love. You're not coming across well here.

ETA: When your brother has DC you'll presumably lose all entitlement, so enjoy it while you can and don't take the good out of it.

RJnomore1 · 20/06/2024 13:23

What support have you given/ do you give to pilot brother?

bunnypenny · 20/06/2024 13:23

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

You really don’t like your older brother, do you?

GasPanic · 20/06/2024 13:23

I think he is right. You have had a good run. 5 years of free flights for you and your child.

I think two to your parents and one each to you and your brother is fairer and you can pay for your child.

Are these economy seats or business class ? If they are business or otherwise upgraded then no, even on a relatively large salary a lot of people do not/cannot afford to travel business because it costs a lot.

youwouldthink · 20/06/2024 13:24

How many years have you been getting the discount?
Surely you must see its unfair to your other brother who has been denied it?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 20/06/2024 13:25

when we met at the weekend he told me “you had a good run”!

In fairness he'd got a point, since things like this are never set in stone no matter how much you'd like them to be

And yes you're being utterly entitled, especially as you expect to go on receiving not one ticket but two

DragonGypsyDoris · 20/06/2024 13:25

Entitlement at its worst. You take one spot and pay for your child.

YellowAsteroid · 20/06/2024 13:25

You have had a good run. Now is the time to let your other brother have a turn.

I don’t see why you having a child should give you preferential treatment. Your other brother has helped you brother become a pilot.

Can’t you agree to do turn and turn about? Or swap every second year? You sound like you think you’re more entitled to the family discount than anyone else.

Fair’s fair.

Testina · 20/06/2024 13:25

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

Well good on pilot brother for sensibly deciding he doesn’t need to be the one who negotiates this.

He didn’t railroad you. At least, no more than you could just do the same back!
Why are you coming for your brother, not your parents?

In terms of “fairness” your brother owes you nothing. Whereas your parents have some sort of responsibility towards you. And your parents have 2 spots (like you) to his 1. So if you think anyone should step aside - why not one of them?

Tapsaffweather · 20/06/2024 13:26

Can both you and your brother have a spot so you get the discount but have to pay full price for your son? Would that help or make the travel too expensive still?

LordSnot · 20/06/2024 13:26

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

Yes, we can read and see that the brother who helped the pilot through expensive training expects to keep his one spot while the sister who didn't keeps one spot.

HoppingPavlova · 20/06/2024 13:26

Yes, we are all picking up on that. Why on earth would you think your older brother should get zero tickets and you should get two? Your brothers mind is probably boggling and seeing it as a no brainer. He gets one, you get one. I can’t imagine there is any discussion required, nor has any railroading taken place.

Out of interest, how much money did you give your younger brother to enable him to do the training to get the job that has thrown out this perk? As much as your older brother, or less, or none?

DifficultBloodyWoman · 20/06/2024 13:26

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

Probably because your brother, like the posters here, thinks you don’t deserve to have the discounts for both you and your child but he, who actively helped his brother, does?

Another thought - in this thread, you appear to have a huge air of entitlement. Could people in your real life see you the same way? Because if so, they might see you losing the discount as something you deserve. And that is why there has been no discussion.

YellowAsteroid · 20/06/2024 13:27

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

But you just want to railroad him. You need to come to a compromise of taking turns.

InTheRainOnATrain · 20/06/2024 13:27

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

But he’s telling you and your brother to discuss it. That is the discussion. Why would he involve himself in it? If you want to ask how often you could swap on/off to see if that’s another option then I’m sure he won’t refuse to tell you so just ask! And if your DC came off you’d still get your flight at staff rate, and DC’s would be cheaper because they’re a kid so less taxes. So it might involve a few compromises as to how often you can go away but you’re clearly not completely broke because staff travel is not free, just discounted, and you still have to pay your way once you’re there. So what end result is you go away 50% less often?

ilovesooty · 20/06/2024 13:27

Wayda · 20/06/2024 13:21

Okay I know this is a first world problem and I’ve been lucky so far re cheap holidays.

But is no one picking up on the fact that my pilot brother told my brother and I to figure out things between ourselves and let him know. But my brother just railroaded me? No discussion.

If he wants to keep his spot why should he discuss it with you? You've got two spots to his one.

Erdinger · 20/06/2024 13:28

You’ve had 5 good years of using up 2 allowances. You don’t have to be on a plane to reconnect with your DC. Stay local

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 20/06/2024 13:28

Why don't you sit down with your brother and explain that if you don't get discounted flights, you can't afford to go away with DC. Would it be possible to keep it for this year [assuming you have plans] unless he has a huge trip planned that has expensive flights? Then take it in turns thereafter?

Or take next years slot and save and plan for something nice with your DC?

SofaSpuds · 20/06/2024 13:28

Testina · 20/06/2024 13:14

I spend a lot of time out of the house to provide for my child and those cheap holidays are precious as they allow us to reconnect.

oh come on 🎻 you can’t connect with your child without a flight?

Yeah and the rest of us don't spend any time out of the house working to provide for our families 🙄
You're being extremely entitled and greedy IMHO.

Sparklfairy · 20/06/2024 13:29

Could you suggest splitting the discount? Like add up the price of all tickets (full price and discounted) and then divide by person/party and pay your (smaller discount, but still a discount) share?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 20/06/2024 13:29

This is the downside to generosity - people become used to it and entitled to feel aggrieved when it is taken away rather than grateful for the time they had it!

Ain't that the truth Hmm

As for your brother "railroading you", OP, perhaps he felt it was about time someone else got to share in this and that you'd already been pretty sharp with your elbows in getting so many tickets?

GasPanic · 20/06/2024 13:30

How about getting the childs father to stump up for DCs flight ticket ?

After all his child has benefited from your brothers generosity to date for 5 years ?

Klampo · 20/06/2024 13:30

Your pilot brother is very wise to keep out of this.

The problem is all 4 of you - your parents, your brother and you - feel entitled to something you shouldn't.

I'd have thought you and your brother having one each and you paying for your child would be fairest.

stayathomer · 20/06/2024 13:31

He helped him be able to train and he flies more and he’s in his 20s, he may as well enjoy them before he gets bogged down with a job that doesn’t allow him to! sorry but you have had a good run and the ‘reconnecting’ thing, come on op, you don’t need a holiday to reconnect!!! I feel sorry for your pilot brother in general, having everyone jumping for the discounts!