Who should be denied cheap flight set up?

[Wayda]

My younger brother is a pilot. For 5+ years I have been lucky enough to get access to very discounted cheap flights. Appreciate that. Has helped my child and I experience many things we simply would not be able to otherwise (single mum). My brother recently mentioned that I along with our other brother need to figure out who will keep the cheap flights. Pilot brother has 5 spots which he can divvy out. He has recently become serious with a girlfriend who he wants to give the discount to.

My brother (not the pilot) is on a far higher salary than me and does not have kids. Yes, he travels more than me but that is due to him having the time to do so. This brother also loaned my younger brother some money to live off whilst training so I think feels entitled to the discounts. He probably earns £80k. Anyway, when we met at the weekend he told me “you had a good run”! The cheek! Assuming I should give up my spot.

Parents witnessed this and did not say anything about their spots. If I were them I would try and help out a single mother. I know it may seem entitled but I’m more hurt by the lack of consideration.

AIBU?

I think the fair way is for you and your brother to have one spot each. You having two and your brother having none isnt fair.

Then there is this:
Parents witnessed this and did not say anything about their spots

It reads as though you expected one of your parents to give theirs up! So, these would be the people that raised their son, the pilot, housed, fed, educated him, put up with his teenage shit and so forth. And you expect one of them to have no ticket so you have two? Hmmmmm

Serioysly, if you need to reconnect with your child so much, a local camping holiday is probably the go. I can’t imagine anything better for reconnecting than being in a tent together🤣. Why do you NEED to fly somewhere to reconnect? Has your child stated this need (which would be really weird), or are you making up that a holiday involving a flight is the only way you could possibly achieve this?

It does seem a little like you've already decided there is no way you're being unreasonable here OP.

Why would you get 2 of the 5 slots and your older brother, who helped pay for the pilot brothers training, get none? One per sibling seems much fairer, rather that 2 to one sibling and none to the other.

How would this work if parents and the brother went on 7 long haul flights a year and OP can still only afford to take a trip to Spain or somewhere once or twice a year? She would end up paying more for her share of the other 4 people's discounts than she would full price for her own flights!

You get one and he gets one. How on earth were you railroaded?!

Why on earth would you think your older brother should get zero tickets and you should get two?

OP's already answered that; apparently he earns more and has no DCs he needs to "reconnect with"

TBH I'm hoping this is all some sort of joke, but knowing exactly how entitled some can be I'm afraid it's not

You chose a different life path to your brothers and subsequently have less spare cash
It doesn’t give you the right to expect family favouritism! You are being very selfish and unreasonable

Yes you’re brother should have discussed with you rather than assuming a “fait accompli”.

But I do think it’s the spot for your child that should be given up, sorry. It can’t possibly be fair for you to have two discounts and your brother zero - plus that brother helped your younger brother out.

I do agree that it’s unfair women’s earning power is so often curtailed - and it’s so often the female sibling who earns least. However, 80k isn’t an enormous salary so much so that he can “easily absorb” this price difference (unless he has a free house or something!).

And you can connect with your son without flying anywhere.

To be fair, the lot of you have and a good run!

Can’t you keep 1 spot and pay for your Childs tickets when you travel. That would be the fair way to do it. Why should you get 2 spots and he gets 0 just because he earns more?

My mate used to work for a huge hotel group and could book us into any of their hotels, even suites for maximum £30 a night, all over the world.

When she got a new job we properly mourned

I would absolutely bin both you and your brother if I were your pilot brother. You HAVE had a good run.

If your elder brother helped fund the pilot training then that balances the fact you are a single parent.

You both have reasons to be the preferred option.

You keep one spot, your brother has one, parents one each and one for the girlfriend. That way is completely fair and all you’ll need to do is pay for YOUR child. Simple.

This is what I was going to suggest

Whoever said this is spot on “This is the downside to generosity - people become used to it and entitled to feel aggrieved when it is taken away rather than grateful for the time they had it!”

Playing the single parent card is not a good look OP.

Your brother subsidised the pilot training - he gets first dibs. Not their fault you had children - and the insinuation that because he's not got kids he shouldn't get them is laughable.

In my experience, no good deed I have done has ever gone unpunished.

Being a single parent doesn't make you entitled to more than someone else.

Reconnect with your child on a train or boat.

As a childless person I can safely say you'd be amazed how many people have this view.

So you argue your case. If you wouldn't use all five, then your brother takes them and gives you cash back, or books for you(I don't know how it works). In our family, you would get them.

Can you confirm the current set up is that the five seats are divided up the pilots mum, pilots dad, pilots brother, pilots sister and pilots niece (your daughter)

If that's the case then you are being unreasonable as you effectively have 2 seats and he is reducing your allowance to one sit, which is the same as your non-pilot brother

Everyone has picked up on it. They've asked if alternating would be viable and you haven't answered.

@Wayda Yes of course we picked up what your brother said. But I for one, just see that as being the throwaway comment that siblings make. How does his comment railroad you? You discuss it back with him. I would have said, as soon as he said that something like 'Nice Try, we'll need to discuss this properly' with a smile on my face.

And before you can do that, you need to ask your pilot brother, if it would be a possibility to change the spots yearly. If it is, then you can suggest to the single brother that you take it year and year about? And for the year you are not on the list, you'll only have your child to pay for? But it's not unreasonable to ask the pilot brother if this is at all possible, before discussing in full with your other brother

I'm calling reverse, are you actually the loaded brother?