6 year child - stranger talking about her penis

[hermenmumster]

Trigger warning : sensitive topic around Gender Identity

I was at a work event (private garden - bring family along deal) and someone there is a transgender woman- she was tall, bearded ,hirsuite and wearing a dress and heels.
My daughter (6) was roaming around with the other kids and i think must have asked the lady why she was wearing a dress.
She explained that she ´was born a man with a willy , and is now a lady ’

Something jarred in me about a grown person talking about gentalia to a 6 year old child.
What does the mumsnet think?
AIBU to be annoyed?

A simple "I like dresses, they make me feel pretty" would suffice. Wonder why willies were mentioned?

Oh fgs, this person is man who likes wearing women's clothes. There are trans women who try to loom like women and I don't think many of them would talk about their genitals to a child. I suspect this person looks like man but wears women's clothes so he can say weird and inappropriate things. In looking as he does he is inviting engagement from confused children.
I would suspect him of getting off on it and would not be happy.

LOL at responses from people who actually believe this is a thing that genuinely happened.

I’d say it was highly likely to have happened given how many vile men now openly parade their perversions in public for the attention.

A genuine Transwoman would not be seen in public unshaven and wearing a dress. They desperately want to pass as a woman. Blokes with a fetish on the other hand….

I agree about reporting to the Police. Is he a work colleague? If so, I’d be reporting him to HR too.

I'd probably explain it as "That person's mummy obviously never explained the pants are private body safety rules. How did that person make you feel? Uncomfortable and not good? Hmmm... I think that might have been a tricky person, let's steer clear of them. Well done for trusting your gut."

I think it’s a clear and kind of engaging way to explain the issue to a child in one sentence. They probably assumed you had openly discussed the existence of genitalia to your child.
Is it that this person was talking about their penis in particular or that they mentioned penises at all? For example if your child had gone up to a man and asked about genders, and the man said “they are women born with willies” vs him saying “I’m a man and I have a willy”

A man was talking to your 6 year old about his penis.

Apologies, just condensing the story.

On what planet is it appropriate for an unknown male person to speak to a6 year old about genitals?
Pretty sure if this had been regular man saying it, someone would have punched his lights out. Why would a bloke in a dress be any different. I would have phoned the police !!

HIS penis.

It's grossly inappropriate and creepy. There is no situation in which it's OK for strangers to mention their genitalia to children.

Annoyed? I'd have said "I'm sorry, did I just hear you talking to my child about your penis? Why?"

Quite loudly.

The transwoman shouldn't have been talking about genitalia or even their gender identity to a 6 year old (especially one they don't know). Some men presumably enjoy wearing dresses so gender identity has no relevance.

Why couldn't they simply have answered because they like wearing dresses or that lots of different people enjoy wearing dresses? At least that would have answered the childs queery in a more subtle and sensitive manner.

I have no idea what GC means but 6 year old children are my area of professional speciality and it’s entirely age & stage appropriate for a 6 year old to question this.

The child is making sense of the world- this includes genders and ‘norms’ such as clothing. It was not a rude question it was a child understanding the world around them.

As a child, I was always told not to talk to adult strangers. You can't do much about the adult at the party but you can reinforce this message with your child, to increase her safety.

As OP has not been back, I’m thinking this was another attempt to get MN into the Mail or Mirror.

This has made me shudder

Pretty?

its like the drag queens reading to little kids. Funny you don't see them going into care homes and reading to the elderly eh?

Hold on to your tinfoil hat it's only been 90 mins lol.

but is it rude to ask why a bearded man in wearing a dress? It is an innocent question. Like why is your hair blue? Why have you got a nose ring? she is 6!

Agree.

no but my daughter genuinely never embellishes . I know her very well..

actually it did. I am really in turmoil about it and need advice from other mothers. The fact you think it is made up actually is distressing in itself for me as it means that it is a really shocking thing (too shocking to believe) to have happened to my daughter :-(

You shouldn't assume anything if the unknown child of an unknown person asks you something.
I don't see the difference between your two example sentences. In this context there was NO need for the word 'willy' at all. He could/should have just said he likes wearing dresses.

So what did you do about it at the time?

thank you this is really helpful