6 year child - stranger talking about her penis

[hermenmumster]

Trigger warning : sensitive topic around Gender Identity

I was at a work event (private garden - bring family along deal) and someone there is a transgender woman- she was tall, bearded ,hirsuite and wearing a dress and heels.
My daughter (6) was roaming around with the other kids and i think must have asked the lady why she was wearing a dress.
She explained that she ´was born a man with a willy , and is now a lady ’

Something jarred in me about a grown person talking about gentalia to a 6 year old child.
What does the mumsnet think?
AIBU to be annoyed?

Interesting. Never seen Alex out and about in Cardiff. Maybe I just didn’t notice or only saw her from the back or something.

Christ. “Bearded lady” is a very niche form of womanhood to aspire to.

Her penis?

It's also the truth that women generally find it easier to orgasm from clitoral rather than vaginal stimulation, and that many men enjoy prostate stimulation- are you out there telling 6 year olds that?

Fucking hell, there are some worrying people on this thread...

Genuinely 100% true. On every level!

He's a lesbian no less!!!!?

That he likes to dress like a lady, same way as a girl in an Elsa frock says “I’m a princess”?
He didn't specify that said willy had been removed I don’t think?

Because I was tying myself up in knots about appearing transphobic . I still am, and haven't taken action. It is a government organisation - very keen on Stonewall index.
I guess that is why i am on here - a genuine AIBU , and this thread has really helped solidify my thoughts

You know what i am trying to do..i am trying not to offend anyone

And it’s never happening more often. At least there’s something to be grateful for.

Everything is transphobic these days, including safeguarding.

@TheKeatingFive
Thank you! So well put

@DampDust @StringTheory1 @AndiOliversGlasses

Google 'the transgender umbrella'. According to queer theory, any man who says he is a woman is a woman, and the rest of us are supposed to just accept it. Over 90% of these men have had no sex-reassignment surgery.

Ha. You should see my neighbour. Full on beard, full face of makeup and a tiny dress.

I know I sound like a wanker here but he's also a massive predator (tried to rape three of my friends) and I just can't see him as a woman

Over 90% of 'transwomen' do not have any surgery to 'remove' their penises. (It's not actually removed, it's turned inside out.)

@Italianita

i don't think it was that bad. A touch unnecessary. BUT FMD the police have more important things to do than police the use of the term Willy when a 6 year old asks why a MAN is wearing a dress.

You're not missing the point at all. Quite literally a bloke in a dress, child quite rightly wonders why said bearded bloke is wearing a dress and asks the question like children do. Weirdo in dress confirms he's a weirdo by talking about genitalia with a six year old girl.

I think we all understand that but the truth is if the man in question had been wearing jeans and a t-shirt and mentioned his genitals you would not be in the least but confused about if you were overreacting.

The majority of sex offenders/ sexual predators are male. Correctly sexing someone is part of our individual risk assessment. Inaccurately applied female pronouns give a false impression of lower risk. That is not to say women are never a risk but they are a significantly lower risk than men.

Language really matters in this instance. You may have to play the pronoun game if you escalate but in your own mind the correct pronouns clarify things.

No totally not the same.

A man with a beard in a dress??? He was waiting for someone to ask.

And most disabled people will have stock answers for small kids with zero filter.
Was born like this,
Had an accident and my legs don't work anymore.
My legs are old and tired.

He could easily have given a similar stock answer. I like dresses they are prettier, more comfortable, nicer than trousers.

Lucky for your 6 year old that she didn't meet the man dressed up as a woman, pleasuring himself, that I met in the ladies when I was 6.

I cannot understand why everyone is cheering transgenderism in when it breaks women's and children's boundaries and leaves us at risk - just for the sexual pleasure of some men.

Well quite, so why even mention it?

@IAmAnAdultHumanFemale

it made me laugh, I'd have loved to have seen the 6 year olds face if he'd said it to her!!

Someone upthread mentioned how i would feel if a grown conventional male mentioned his penis to her. I would be plain livid and less confused

And this right here is exactly how predators hide in plain sight.

I'm a bit confused... you implied he couldn't be a transwomen if he still had a penis. I was telling you that the majority of self-described transwomen DO have a penis.

I am very much inclusive, very much an ally, and very very woke.

But, this isn't about any of that. It's not about trans issues. It's an adult who crossed a boundary, and so needs to be told their actions were inappropriate. I'm not suggesting launching a grievance, I am saying their manager needs to be aware so they can tell them it was inappropriate behaviour and prevent it happening in the future.