To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

Why should she remind OP? Why can't OP set her own reminder and pay the £200 back?

Maybe, maybd not. I think some people would feel uncomfortable asking, especially if they thought the person was avoiding them anyway to get out of paying, which this does look like.

Somd people really struggle with being direct on things like this, they feel awkward. People who try to get out of things rely on that to get away with it.

Going by the number of threads that appear on MN about people who can't / won't ask for money they're owed I'm not surprised the friend didn't remind OP, even if her kids were starving.
I am glad the friend went without OP, as usually the person goes to the concert but still doesn't repay what they owe.

As much as I always pay for everything immediately and never owe anyone anything, I think all the perfect people in these replies are just being a bit weird! People can forget things ffs! It's strange she never sent you a reminder, its strange she went alone without checking. Seems like you were never really good enough friends for her to have done that. If this had have happened with any of my friends I'd assume they'd forgot because they'd never take the piss out of me and intentionally not pay me. People are so weird on MN.

This.

But I suspect that after you contacted her in April, didn’t mention the £200 you owed and declined her invitation without suggesting an alternative, she sold your ticket, hopefully at a huge profit, and has washed her hands of you.

@abrabhf

How on EARTH could you have 'forgotten' to pay your friend £200 back FGS?! Yeah she could have asked, but you SHOULD have offered it to her.

Good grief!

Just send her the money, apologise profusely and try to salvage your friendship. Job done. Loads of people feel awkward asking for money they're owed. Your friend seems like one of them. Yes, you didn't go, but it's the principle of it. And if you value your friendship more than £200 you forgot about, surely it's a no brainer?

I manage to keep my own calendar and immediately note anything I'm doing. Otherwise how can one keep track of life? Xx

Apparently the majority of people on this thread can afford to lose £200, to the point that it's not even worth them spending 30 seconds sending a reminder text to a friend who's clearly forgotten to send the money.

Lucky them. I've never been in that position.

You're going on that you "forgot" you owed someone £200. Now that's odd. You didn't forget btw, so nice try. No one forgets that.

It's odd she didn't speak to you before the gig to make plans and arrangements?
Maybe she thought you weren't so keen on going anyway if you hadn't paid and seemed to have forgot. I'd be pissed off I brought tickets then someone just forgot everything about it!

do you even have a friendship between you? It seems madness that two friends haven’t been in contact, or at the very least organising to go to this said gig?

it sounds to me you were ghosted for some reason OP, and the ticket went to someone else

Well if it was Taylor Swift she'll have sold on the ticket no problem at all, so you wouldn't owe her anything.
Also it's odd for a friend to not be able to message and say, are you OK to transfer the £200 over / let's make arrangements for gig / not even a woohoo so excited for gig texts?
Also must've been quite a major gig to be £200 ticket, I dont think it's feasible you could "forget" , but looks like the friendships over anyway, so I'd forget about that and move on.

pay her back if didnt resell the ticket

how can you forget to pay someone £200?

youre a rubbish frirnd, she deserves better

How in earth could you "forget," you owed money as you had a ticket that cost £200...was it Taylor Swift?

When you said you'd forgotten about a gig that cost £200, I figured maybe you have lots of disposable income and go to lots of gigs. But then you said you didn't have enough money till pay day so presumably this isn't the kind of thing you do all the time.

I can't understand how you would forget. I have only ever once spent that much on a ticket to something and I was counting down the weeks to it and I'm someone who goes to theatre/gigs most months but no way am I forgetting my 200 quid ticket.

The time to remember and pay your friend was when you got paid, like you said you would. I hope you pay up now.

You sound totally unreliable, inconsiderate and flakey. Not surprised your 'friend' hasn't been in contact.

I could see myself doing something like this and it's bloody awful. I haven't done it often, but I once did something a bit like this and my poor friend felt as though she didn't matter at all to me. It triggered issues of childhood neglect for her. She refused to communicate with me and I never saw her again. She moved house, moved on. I don't blame her but I still wish I could make it up to her.

I'd assume she didn't want you to go, so technically you didn't have the ticket, it was no longer yours. If she had physically handed it to you then you should pay her. She blanked you, did not arrange to go there with you, and has no interest in talking to you any more.
So I do think it's a case that she went with someone else. Seeing as she had possession of the ticket and paid, the fact she didn't reach out again to arrange attendance makes me feel you don't owe her.

@abrabhf - Just get in touch with her and say sorry I forgot and ask her where to pay the £200. If she took someone else then she will probably say - no problem , ticket was used.

But in future I would pay up front. It is irritating ( I've had this ) when someone says yes to a ticket and then when they pull out last minute or forget it Is up to you to sort the ticket out.

Send her the money. YOU forgot,, YOU didnt pay her.

This

You’re avoiding the question, although I assume we all know the answer. Have you now paid her the £200, and apologised?

I wonder if given you haven't managed to be in touch to pay the money back you forgot about I wonder if "friend" may be overreaching a little 😊

You really need to check whether she got her money back and if she didn't, pay your debt to her.