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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think friend should have reminded me?

562 replies

abrabhf · 19/06/2024 21:45

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

OP posts:
Saschka · 19/06/2024 22:01

OP did you forget to pay her, or forget to go to the gig, or both?

If you went to the gig and just didn’t pay her back, that is bad. If you weren’t sure when the gig was and you’ve just found out it was last week and she didn’t contact you to say “when are we meeting?” or anything, yep I do agree that’s pretty rubbish. It isn’t her job to remember for you, but it’s weird of her to never even mention it.

ToxicChristmas · 19/06/2024 22:01

You didn't pay her back, the ticket was hers. I'd imagine she found someone else to go with. Maybe as you hadn't spoken for months she didn't want to remind you as it would be awkward to go together.
You shouldn't need reminding that you owe someone a lot of money for a ticket. You put it in your diary and make it a priority.

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/06/2024 22:02

You didn’t forget though you may have hoped she’d forget you owed her hundreds of £££. You didn’t pay for it so it wasn’t your ticket and she’s given it to someone else.

bloomtoperish · 19/06/2024 22:02

Really weird, if she had the tickets and was going with you, yes it's very strange that she didn't remind you or contact you to arrange where to meet etc. I wouldn't be in a rush to give her money if she didn't do this and is also ignoring you

XenoBitch · 19/06/2024 22:03

spicysamosahotcupoftea · 19/06/2024 21:58

That's a massive assumption on your part.

OP is an adult. She shouldn't need reminding that she owes her friend a large chunk of money.

Show quote history

Yep, I have read it that OP's friend went to the gig anyway, and lost out on the £200 that OP owed her... and has now blocked OP as they seem oblivious as to what they have done wrong.

BuggeryBumFlaps · 19/06/2024 22:03

I'm not sure why you feel hard done to.

She paid for the ticket, all you missed out on was going to the gig, but financially you're not out of pocket.

As for being reminded, no, it's not her job to mother you, if you forgot to pay and forgot to go to the gig or contacted her, you can hardly expect her to be chasing around after you.

ZenNudist · 19/06/2024 22:04

The way this works is, one person pays for another person. You agree to a date, check calendar and write down the date so you can remember then you pay them back immediately. If its a wait til payday thing you do it then. Set an alarm "pay so and so".

There is no excuse for being so flakey.

Schoolchoicesucks · 19/06/2024 22:06

Did you go to the gig?

Assuming you didn't, then the friend bought 2 tickets to a gig and presumably went with someone else. You didn't pay for a ticket so you haven't lost out.

If you did go and you haven't paid the £200 yet then what are you waiting for? Do you not have friend's bank details?

Original poster
abrabhf · 19/06/2024 22:07

Gig is over and done with. I didn’t go and she never sent me the ticket.

I’ve looked on her Instagram and she’s posted a photo being there, but she’s not tagged anyone so she might have gone alone??

Tickets were bought in December, last contact I had with her was maybe April, I messaged to ask if she was ok, she invited me to her for dinner and I said I couldn’t make that day.

I’ve only remembered the gig as I was seeing tiktoks about it.

OP posts:
Springwatch123 · 19/06/2024 22:08

Yoy should have paid, but friend could have easily messaged to remind you.

Can’t quite believe you forgot a gig costing £200. Even though you didn’t go, you still owe her the money.

AmelieTaylor · 19/06/2024 22:08

@abrabhf

I'm confused (it doesn't take much these days), but you decided to go to a concert with your friend. She agreed to front the tickets & you could repay her after payday.

if you were prepared to pay £200 for a ticket, how could you forget about the concert?

How do you manage to not have paying her at the front of your mind? I wish I could be so 'chill' about these things.

then not see her for ages... it's so 'not my life'...

but as you've sent her messages & she's not replying, I'd assume she no longer wanted to be friends & had probably sold the ticket or treated someone to the concert. It seems so weird to me that NEITHER of you discussed the concert, travel arrangements etc.

id put it behind me if she doesn't get in touch.

burnoutbabe · 19/06/2024 22:10

Well I assume she went and took someone else or sold the ticket.

So you don't owe her anything. Else she'd not ignore your texts.

Blackboxbetty · 19/06/2024 22:10

I think it's odd your friend didn't message you to say something like hey, really looking forward to seeing x - what time shall we meet?

Which I presume would have then prompted you to 1) pay her and 2) attend the gig.

Yes you should have remembered to pay on payday but most friends could surely message and remind you... I think her ghosting you is a bizarre reaction.

XenoBitch · 19/06/2024 22:10

Why would she send you the ticket if you have not paid?

I really hope you manage to get in touch and pay her back.

Sausagedog101 · 19/06/2024 22:10

Let me get this straight:

Your friend bought you a £200 ticket for a gig. You forgot about the gig and so didn't go or pay your friend back?

But equally your friend didn't get in touch with you to organise arrangements for going to the gig together?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/06/2024 22:11

You can’t afford £200 for a gig, but I expect you could afford £2 for a diary.

Sausagedog101 · 19/06/2024 22:12

If it were me, I would write a lovely apologetic card to my friend and withdraw £200 cash and post it through her letterbox.

I fail to see how someone can forget owing someone such a large sum of money!

mummytrex · 19/06/2024 22:14

Yabu. She is your friend not a parent. In your friends position I'd be uncomfortable at having to chase, but equally irritated at a friend taking advantage accidental or otherwise.

if you had to wait until you were paid before you were meant to pay your friend, I'm struggling to see how you managed to overlook having an extra £200.

EatTheGnome · 19/06/2024 22:15

abrabhf · 19/06/2024 22:07

Gig is over and done with. I didn’t go and she never sent me the ticket.

I’ve looked on her Instagram and she’s posted a photo being there, but she’s not tagged anyone so she might have gone alone??

Tickets were bought in December, last contact I had with her was maybe April, I messaged to ask if she was ok, she invited me to her for dinner and I said I couldn’t make that day.

I’ve only remembered the gig as I was seeing tiktoks about it.

And when she invited yu to dinner you didn't say "I can't make that day how about X date?"

Do you ever initiate contact? What do yu give to the relationship?

ToxicChristmas · 19/06/2024 22:16

Well she wouldn't send you the ticket if you owed her the money, that would be foolish.
You owe her an apology, but sounds like that ship has sailed. It's incredibly easy to make a note that you owe someone money and put a date in the diary or set a phone reminder. If I was her, I'd have thought you were ducking out and didn't want to go.

NoSnowdrop · 19/06/2024 22:16

abrabhf · 19/06/2024 22:07

Gig is over and done with. I didn’t go and she never sent me the ticket.

I’ve looked on her Instagram and she’s posted a photo being there, but she’s not tagged anyone so she might have gone alone??

Tickets were bought in December, last contact I had with her was maybe April, I messaged to ask if she was ok, she invited me to her for dinner and I said I couldn’t make that day.

I’ve only remembered the gig as I was seeing tiktoks about it.

Jeez maybe you’d have remembered if you were 200 quid out of pocket over it.

no wonder she’s not talking to you.

she’s not your PA. I bet you’re not planning to pay her back either. Gig tickets paid for upfront by friends don’t come with personalised reminder services Hmm

Minikievs · 19/06/2024 22:17

Was it Taylor Swift? She'll have been able to sell the other ticket (not your ticket. It's not yours because you never paid for it) about a hundred times over.

I don't understand how you want to see an act so much that you're willing to pay (although you didn't) £200 to see them.....and then you forgot Confused

Agree with pp. Shes not your mum. It's not her job to remind you.

MsFogi · 19/06/2024 22:17

Absolutely pathetic excuses OP - you should have noted to pay her immediately when you got paid (although I find it very difficult to believe you forgot). No doubt you have a phone with diary and reminder features so there is absolutely no excuse.

Original poster
abrabhf · 19/06/2024 22:17

XenoBitch · 19/06/2024 22:10

Why would she send you the ticket if you have not paid?

I really hope you manage to get in touch and pay her back.

Where did I say she should have sent me the ticket?

People were asking if I had the ticket. So me saying I didn’t have the ticket was a direct response to that question.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 19/06/2024 22:19

abrabhf · 19/06/2024 22:17

Where did I say she should have sent me the ticket?

People were asking if I had the ticket. So me saying I didn’t have the ticket was a direct response to that question.

Show quote history

You said that she never sent you the ticket... and why would she if you had not paid for it?

This thread just smacks of you not wanting to pay for the ticket because you didn't go... even if your friend was £200 out of pocket as a result.