To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

But managed to afford to go out with other friends on a separate occasion according to one of the updates....

You sound like a terrible friend. You need to pay her back the money. What an awful thing to do to someone

I expect your friend went on her own but sold the ticket you were supposed to use. I really doubt she is out of pocket to the tune of £200, other wise you'd surely have heard from her. Sounds like she wouldn't put herself out. So rather than call you to clarify the plans/money situation she's blanked you. If that is what 15 years of friendship meant to her I wouldn't spend any time fretting over it. She obviously isn't.

I have forgotten some big important events/meetings in the past... actually, even now things can go completely out of my head. There are a lot of righteous people on this thread who'd never forget anything. Bully for them. Sometimes some us get overtaken by other things going on in our lives. Some of us have brains that work differently.

It is really strange that she didn’t remind you and ghosted you. Have you done this before to her?

But you still need to pay her back… isn’t that obvious?

You give two examples where she suggested things to do together that you couldn't do, but it doesnt sound as if you suggested anything instead. This would give most people the impression that someone just didn't really value spending time with them. It's common foe people to resent feeling like they're doing all the running to keep a friendship alive. It is odd that she didn't check with you or remind you about the gig, or find someone else instead but hey I don't know her, maybe her confidence is on the floor, maybe she doesn't have many friends. I think it's a shame you feel the friendship is over.

You are absolutely the asshole.

pay her back and then stay away, she deserves better

youre a thief

How on earth could you forget to pay someone £200?

You need to pay her back. Otherwise you are a complete piss-taker.

Then you say you can't go to something else with her because you're going with other friends. I hope you at least offered for her to join you?

Then you can't make a dinner date.

All the above looks very grim on your part.

Are you seriously surprised she's dropped you?

How can you forget to pay her on payday? If you’re that forgetful set reminder on your phone. It should have been one of your first priorities.
I also don’t understand forgetting about a concert unless you weren’t bothered about going in the first place or spending time with that particular person.
you say later that you can’t afford to send her £200… but it’s okay that she’s out of pocket £200 is it?
no wonder the friendship is over, wonder how many more entitled things you’ve done and are seemingly obvious to.

In fairness you sound like a really crap friend to her. Yet still she has made an effort with you and you haven't reciprocated. Instead you were busy with other friends and couldn't go for dinner. She's clearly not a priority. She is presumably still out of pocket by £200. You at the least owe her that and flowers. If you can't afford it, stop having nights out with your other friends, sell stuff on ebay, find a way to get the money and invite her around for dinner at yours. Personally i would have dropped you too.

I wouldn't want to be your friend. You sound hard work and lazy.

This is such an odd situation! Surely she would have been better to message.. see if you still want the ticket and if so send the money over. If not she could have found someone else. You should have paid. She should have reminded you to pay.

I know, some of these replies are genuinely horrible :( Not to say I don't agree that OP should be paying back the £200 somehow, but it doesn't feel unreasonable to have genuinely forgotten something. I remember buying tickets for a gig about 10 years ago and remembering about it the day after the gig 😅 fair enough I bought the tickets myself so wasn't owing anyone anything, and they were nowhere near £200, but just an example that it can be really easy to have something slip your mind.

What's happened here is you said you'd pay her on pay day, you forgot and she got really pissed off (rightly so) that she'd paid £400 upfront, given you an interest free payment plan till payday, then you'd not even remembered and sent it back. Its highly highly rude and I'm not surprised she's ghosted you. It should've been the first thing you did as soon as your pay came in, alongside a massive thank you to her for paying for it and waiting for the reimbursement
I don't think you can rectify this. If I were her I'd have just taken someone else, ultimately, because you didn't bother to pay her back then it wasn't even your ticket. She paid £400 for 2 tickets. You're not a good friend (and you really need to get a diary or a calendar and use it)

I'm not surprised she's ignoring you. I'd give her the 200.00 back. How could you forget.

You forgot on payday and 6 months later you've remembered but still can't pay. You had no intention of paying and should never have said yes to tickets you couldn't afford. I doubt your friend can afford to be £200 out of pocket but you've left her no choice really.

You’re a bad friend, it seems.

She shouldnt have to remind you. Not paying back is bad enough but your attitude of its her fault for not "reminding" you is worse than the not paying 🙄.

You knew she made the purchase so you should have paid her immediately. The onus is on you to pay, not her to chase you up

You need to check as you agreed to buy the ticket. She’s lost £200. The fact you can’t afford it is irrelevant, she couldn’t afford to loose £200. I don’t get why you’re playing the victim when you are clearly in the wrong. You say there is more too it, maybe there is, and then maybe it will paint you in a different light

I’m sure your friend can’t afford to have thrown £200 down the drain on a ticket you ‘forgot’ either - you need to pay her, even if it’s in instalments

Do you know if she went without you? Did someone else use your ticket? And it would have been better if you paid or at the time, if somebody didn’t pay me £200 for a ticket that they agreed for me to buy for them. I don’t think I will be very impressed either.

According to @abrabhf, her friend went to the gig on her own, @Hazyjaneishere.

You seem like you've been a shitty friend.
Invites you to a gig in December buys a ticket then hears nothing from you she contacts you to do something but you're busy with other friends she suggests doing something else but that days no good either you forgot about a gig she had invited you to and forgot to pay shes your friend but not even remotely on your radar. You dont seem to have forgot your other days out with friends. No wonder she's hurt plus you don't seem to be sorry.

The last line seems to imply you had no intention of ever paying the money back. I’d be done too if I was the friend in question.