To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

Your friend seems to have been very passive about it. It doesn’t seem normal to me with any of the arrangements I’ve had with friends to arrange something, especially something that costs so much, and then never mention it again.

Makes me wonder - Was this a sort of test? Do you have form for forgetting arrangements or for being hard to get payment from and this was just a final straw for her?

Wow. Terrible behaviour. You owe this person money, pay it.

She shouldn’t have to chase you for money. You have shown how little you respect her. The loss of the friendship is on you, good luck to her.

She's not your PA, she shouldn't have to remind you. And it's embarrassing for her to have to chase you up to pay her.
Sounds like she's cut her loses here.

If this was one of my friends, or me, one of us would have sent a message a week or so before saying hey, looking forward to seeing XYZ band, what time and where shall we meet?

But we are normal people.

And besides, if she has your ticket, she’d know what seat number you were. The whole thing sounds all a bit strange.

So why did you agree to go in the first place? Sounds like you never intended to pay her.

You want to both keep the £200 and keep the friendship. That’s not happening.

It sounds like you would have gone to the gig had she reminded you and STILL not paid.

Your comment that "15 year friendship seems very much over" sounds as though you're aggrieved that she no longer wants a friendship with you, yet at no point have you accepted that any of this mess is down to you. You can't afford to send her £200 but seem believe that she can afford to lose that much money. I doubt she can.

When you told her you couldn’t make that date, did you suggest an alternative day? Did you invite her to yours at some other point?

If not, I can see why she gave up.

She stopped talking in April because she realised you will never pay and gave up

Your behaviour is awful.

The onus is on the one who owes the money to pay up. It is awful expecting the other person to chase payment.

I am not sure you are being serious.

That’s out of order - you should have paid regardless. Sounds like she’s had enough of the friendship and can’t say I blame her.

You agreed to go to the gig so you owe her £200

Clearly your (former) friend was expecting you to join her - and going alone is not much fun vs going with a friend so you’ve let her down badly

‘Cant afford it’ is just an excuse- bet you’ve spent way more than £200 on non essentials in the last 6 months

If I was your friend I would have been reminding you that you owed me a large amount of money but really it’s your responsibility to pay back the cost of the ticket that you asked her to buy for you. If she didn’t sell the ticket you still owe her.

Why should she remind you? Are u not an adult?
It’s your fault - you’ve had months to pay her and made no attempt to pay £30 per month as you couldn’t pay the full amount - did that not dawn on you!!!

Excuse me — don’t most phones these days have calendars that you can set reminders?

All I’m hearing are excuses - no reasons.

You lent £200 from her, when you did that you thought you would have the money to pay her. You need to pay her back.

I’m not surprised your friendship is over. But you still need to send her the money. In instalments if you can’t afford it in one go.
I actually can’t believe there are people like you that exist and have absolutely no shame in screwing over their supposed friends. I’d be paying it back £5 a month if I had to.

You owe her £200.

You're in the wrong here, couldn't you have sent her 50 a month or 20 a month towards repayment if you couldn't do 200? Why did you agree to go?

You still owe her the £200. It wasn't up to her to chase you for it. You shod have remembered what you committed to.

Why should the onus be on her to remind you and chase you for money? You’re a grown adult.

It sounds like you deliberately ‘forgot’ to pay her in the hope that she would bring up the gig, write off the £200 and invite you anyway. Really unfair and ridiculous of you. Why do you assume she has £200 to burn? I wouldn’t be friends with you after this. The least you can do
is pay her back, even in instalments.

How the hell do you forget you owe a friend £200 😱?

I would unfriend you also.
Beyond rude to not pay what you owe. You have had 6 months to pay and now you say you can't afford it. I can't be doing with flaky people, I can understand her actions.

Why did you agree to buy the ticket if you didn't have £200?

You're a CF. And a a bad friend. I dont think it's that weird your friend didn't ask for the money. Some people find that very difficult and the onus is on you not her. The April thing is also strange. I imagine she was thinking she'll ask youface to face and then I said you were busy and didn't offer another date? Imagine she thought you were blowing her off and didn't feel confident in raising. You owed someone money and somehow managing to blame the person for not reminding you. That wouldn't wash with a loan company. Bad friend and she's right not to be friends with you any more

I can’t afford to send her £200.

You would infuriate me tbh. You owe her £200. You've owed her that money for months.

If you didn't have £200 then and you don't have £200 now then why on earth did you agree to go. You need to live within your means or you're going to get into debt.