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Original poster

To think friend should have reminded me?

562 replies

abrabhf · 19/06/2024 21:45

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

OP posts:
PloddingAlong21 · 26/06/2024 04:46

Initially on the fence here. Friend agreed to cover it for her until payday. OP should have remembered because £200 is a lot. However life is busy and can see how it would slip her mind. Friend (as they’re clearly very close to be covering £200 for her) could have said “don’t forget you owe me that cash!”. However, she chose not too. This could therefore have been a non-issue really.

However, she reached out Feb and you said “nah seeing other mates” and again invited you for dinner but you were too busy(?)

you then forgot the plans you made for the concert (but remembered a local event in the summer with other friends which presumably didn’t cost you £200 you hadn’t paid)

This is about more than the £200. She clearly feels you don’t value her friendship and it’s perhaps a one way street.

the right thing to do is cover your £200. You didn’t go because you have a terrible memory, but you did agree to go and she is £200 down because of it. Whether your friend or not, the other person shouldn’t have to fork out for your mistake. Pay her.

Mummaoffour1234 · 26/06/2024 07:18

abrabhf · 19/06/2024 21:45

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

Sorry OP it sounds like you need to take more responsibility for yourself and you should still do the right thing and pay back the £200 even if it’s a bit each month. It’s not up to other people to remind you that you owe money or the date of events you’d said you’d attend.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/06/2024 10:30

Smartstuffed · 24/06/2024 21:56

I expect your friend went on her own but sold the ticket you were supposed to use. I really doubt she is out of pocket to the tune of £200, other wise you'd surely have heard from her. Sounds like she wouldn't put herself out. So rather than call you to clarify the plans/money situation she's blanked you. If that is what 15 years of friendship meant to her I wouldn't spend any time fretting over it. She obviously isn't.

I have forgotten some big important events/meetings in the past... actually, even now things can go completely out of my head. There are a lot of righteous people on this thread who'd never forget anything. Bully for them. Sometimes some us get overtaken by other things going on in our lives. Some of us have brains that work differently.

@Smartstuffed - the OP herself said that her friend went to the gig alone, and has said nothing about the friend managing to sell the ticket.

Judging on her own words, @abrabhf's friend IS out of pocket £200, and she should be offering to pay her, even if it has to be in instalments. That is what any decent person would do.

And yes, it is human to forget things - I have forgotten things in the past - but I would not expect my mistake to end up costing someone else £200 - I am sure you are the same.

Outofmydepth3 · 26/06/2024 18:43

abrabhf · 20/06/2024 02:09

Why would I need to check? I haven’t sent her any money.

I’ve messaged her now. Apparently she went on her own, she didn’t remind me as she thought I’d do the right thing and then gave up.

There’s more to it than that but I’m not going to post the entire message. 15 year friendship seems very much over. I can’t afford to send her £200.

Show quote history

@abrabhf You did not forget to pay her, you let her pay and then you didn't prioritise paying her back. I have a friend like you, will borrow money and then claim they can't afford to pay back despite being out and spending all over Instagram. You need to set up an arrangement to pay her back even if it's a small amount each month. She sounds like she's been a good friend to you, do you really want to lose her?

TenseElongatedRightFinger · 26/06/2024 19:58

abrabhf · 20/06/2024 02:09

Why would I need to check? I haven’t sent her any money.

I’ve messaged her now. Apparently she went on her own, she didn’t remind me as she thought I’d do the right thing and then gave up.

There’s more to it than that but I’m not going to post the entire message. 15 year friendship seems very much over. I can’t afford to send her £200.

Show quote history

Clearly you have form and this is the straw that broke the camels back. The absolute least you can do is pay her back the cost of the ticket. Hell, if it was my friend I'd be covering the cost of her ticket too to make up for being such a shit show and leaving her £200 out of pocket in December of all months!

PissedOff2020 · 26/06/2024 23:11

abrabhf · 20/06/2024 12:04

She messaged me maybe February asking if I’d like to go to a local event in the summer and I told her I was already going with different friends.

I messaged her weeks later to say I missed her and she invited me over for dinner on a night I couldn’t do. And that’s the end of all contact we’ve had this year apart from yesterday.

Show quote history

Sounds like a one way friendship. She pays for an expensive ticket in December which you forget about and don’t pay. In February she invites you to another gig (potentially hoping that would jog your memory about the gig you’re already going to together and have yet to pay for) you tell her you’re already going with other friends but don’t invite her along? That’s really cruel.
Then when she invites you to dinner you say you’re busy that date and didn’t suggest any other dates … then you just never got in touch with her again. Come on, no wonder she’s upset with you.
To be honest, you sound very selfish and not a good friend at all. Your behaviour is hurtful, it comes across as you really don’t give a shit about her.

wrped · 26/06/2024 23:20

paid her back yet?

Humannat · 27/06/2024 13:34

FatmanandKnobbin · 19/06/2024 22:27

If I was due someone £200 it would be on my mind day and night until I paid it back.

She was probably, understandably, pissed off because you were supposed to pay her on payday, and didn't. I wouldn't be chasing you up either if I could sell the ticket on.

i find this a bit ridiculous, if you’re friends enough to book and go, a gentle ‘I can’t wait for the concert’ to remind them doesn’t hurt

jannier · 28/07/2024 15:11

abrabhf · 19/06/2024 21:52

No, and she knew I wouldn’t be able to and she was ok with it.

I had to wait for pay day and then I completely forgot.

Show quote history

You forget £5 not £200 you were stringing it out to suit you

jannier · 28/07/2024 15:14

abrabhf · 19/06/2024 22:07

Gig is over and done with. I didn’t go and she never sent me the ticket.

I’ve looked on her Instagram and she’s posted a photo being there, but she’s not tagged anyone so she might have gone alone??

Tickets were bought in December, last contact I had with her was maybe April, I messaged to ask if she was ok, she invited me to her for dinner and I said I couldn’t make that day.

I’ve only remembered the gig as I was seeing tiktoks about it.

Nope you would have remembered at that invite and said omg I'm so sorry I totally forgot and I'm broke is there anyway you can sell the ticket....grovel...

jannier · 28/07/2024 15:15

RosaRoja · 19/06/2024 22:30

I bought tickets once for me, DH and a friend. We ALL forgot about it, which was a big shame as we liked the band. I can’t remember the cost but friend did offer to pay. I refused as it was such an overall cockup, it didn’t seem worth it to bring in awkwardness.

Surely not £800 worth though

ImNotThereAmI · 28/07/2024 15:41

Op did you see this friend at an event recently, not speak to each other and then text her to say she was rude for ignoring you? ?

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