To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

You're a shit friend too then?

You are a thief.

Send her the £200 and apologise profusely!

From what little information you’ve given it look likes you are not a good friend and that’s why you didn’t get reminded (also as an adult you shouldn’t have needed reminding)

she has reached out several times to invite you to things all of which you have refused (even though one of the examples you were already going so could have asked her along if other friends were ok with that) or accepted then not given the money for and then forgot about.
You did seem interested in either seeing her or offering any alternatives to things when you couldn’t make an event she invited you too

it Sounds like this friend has just given up trying with you?

im not saying it’s on purpose but from what little I’ve read I wouldn’t be massively happy in keeping going a friendship with you either. Of course there may be good reasons of course but none of those are mentioned here so I can’t comment

How do you forget you owe someone £200? You are not only being unreasonable but ridiculous, your ex friend is not your mother.

The absolute bloody cheek…£200 sounds like a fair price to be rid of you as a friend. You couldn’t afford to go why accept? You didn’t forget to pay, you chose not to pay. Nothing stopping you paying them back in instalments. If you had any character at all that is what you would be doing, regardless of whether the friendship is salvageable or not.

Oh my god she’s trying to get out of paying it back.

you are awful. Absolutely awful.

I've seen this said a lot on here... what does it mean please?

OP you sound like a terrible friend. Id be ditching the friendship too. She did you a favour by paying for a ticket that you couldnt afford at the time, you should have paid her back with December's payday, at the very latest January's. Even when you owed her money she still invites you out both in February & April, both of which you couldnt do, you could've invited her to the festival and also rearranged on the second occasion. When you spoke to her it shouldve been the first thing to cross your mind, oh shit I owe her £200. It sounds more like youve completely avoided meeting up with her, shes realised shes not going to get the money back, so she's backed away from the friendship. You knew all along that you couldn't afford that ticket and were hoping she would forget about it. Terrible friend, but also terrible person. This wasn't an accident.

Actually I agree - I think it would be normal to have reminded you about the £200 and asked if you were going to the gig. I forget stuff all the time and would just assume my friend had forgotten and needed a reminder, rather than going all pass agg about it.

You’re wrong. You need to pay

Did you actually forget or did you just not get in touch with this friend because you knew you needed to pay her for the ticket you agreed that she would purchase on your behalf ? Then feign forgetfulness when you knew the concert was over? Either way, you owe your friend the £200.

YOu need to find a way to pay her back. It's awful that you haven't.

Sell some of your things if you have to. But get the money to her.

It's not her responsibility to fund you in life and you're acting like it is with your cavalier ' I can't afford to pay her'.

You need to bloody figure it out!

It’s where the situation is the reverse of how the OP has presented it. So in this case, it would mean that the OP is actually the one who paid for the tickets, and is presenting the situation as though they are the friend who missed the concert and can’t/won’t pay for the ticket.

I don’t feel particularly strongly about reverses, but they are/were considered poor form, and get/got a lot of people’s back up.

I think it's a little odd that the friend didn't chase for any payment and the lack of communication in general- I certainly would have!

I don't think there is much you can do to salvage this now though. Presumably she passed on/sold the ticket to someone else.

If you still won't give her the money no wonder she doesn't want to be friends that's really uncalled for. It's not her fault you 'forgot'.

Was her olive branch the dinner to remind you and said you couldn't go? As she felt really uncomfortable. I'd suspect so.

You had several pay days to reach out and pay or arrange payment and you didn't.

If you care about this friendship. Screen shot that insta post.
Then send something like. "I'm a rubbish friend. I completely forgot the gig and the €200 I owed you. I'm so sorry it monumentally skipped my mind and I want to make it up to you. Can I take you to dinner/make dinner for you and what account do I need to transfer the money, I'll do it right now. I hope you had an awesome yome. Again, sorry, truly sorry"

She bought a ticket for you, presumably you were aware she was going to do that.

She lost £200 because you conveniently 'forgot'. If you couldn't afford the ticket, you should said before she bought it.
She shouldn't be out of pocket because of you. Arrange to pay her back in installments if you can't afford to pay it in one go.

I am sure she can't afford to be out that much money either. You have to pay her!!! You shouldn't have let her get the ticket otherwise!

Say sorry and pay her what you owe her. You could check first to see if she's out of pocket or resold. Even if she did you owe her an apology.

I'm not going to join the pile-on so I'll just say I feel very bad for your friend. This must have all been very upsetting for her.

@Zzey it means that I suspected the OP was the one who was owed the money.

Yeah if I'd bought a friend a £200 ticket I'd be reminding them they owed me the money, and also organising things like getting to the gig etc. I wouldn't just go radio silence and then go alone. That's weird. People forget stuff all the time. It can be irritating, sure, but you owed her £200 and she never sent you one nudge or said 'hey you still coming to this gig?' or anything, she just assumed you were quietly ghosting her because you didn't want to go? Are you usually flakey? Maybe if this isn't the first time then that could in someway explain it...or is she loaded and £200 doesn't make a dent in the budget?! Otherwise I'm baffled.

You should have paid her when you got paid. No one forgets that you owe a mate £200.

Pay it and apologise.

@Wolfiefan @Zzey @GinToBegin I cannot fathom why someone would do that, but then I struggle understanding people most days 😅

Surely if it was a £200 cost , it’s something you were really keen on so you must have realised it was coming up?

So you agreed to go to the gig and your friend bought the ticket knowing you couldn't pay her until payday, then you didn't pay her on payday and you think she is the unreasonable one for going without you.

How did you forget about it between her making the booking and your payday?

And now you are refusing to give her the money she has lost because you cannot afford it, why on earth did you agree to go in the first place then.