To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

Really? I would find it impossible to forget that I owed someone £200! You still need to pay the debt!

Hang on a minute . . . would you say that to you Landlord/mortgage provider. You have a moral duty to pay her. I don’t suppose she can afford to lose £200 and even if she can, this is your debt. What kind if person are you?

Well no, I wouldn’t do that either. But if the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t wait to be messaged and then just not go if I didn’t hear anything, and assume I no longer owed the money - and presumably you wouldn’t either? Because that is most definitely madness!

The OP can’t control her friend’s behaviour - only her own. She could have contacted her friend at any time to say “Is the gig still happening?” And even if she genuinely forgot she hadn’t paid AND forgot the gig was even happening (an unlikely combination), she only has herself to blame for that.

Sounds weird from both of you. You forgot, but did your friend never mention it again, for example after pay day ask "are you still wanting to come to to the gig with me?"

I would have popped the social on my family and personal calendar. Made a diary note to pay friend. Why is this so hard? And here you are complaining about her. Get a grip!

I'm not surprised she's stop bothering with you after 15 years of 'friendship'. You are a dreadful friend.

1 You owe her £200 and have done for 6 months. No one believes you 'forgot' about it. You're a user.

2 She asked you in February if you'd like to go to something - and you told her you were going with other friends. Presumably ones you DON'T owe £200 to.

3 She gave you a last chance and asked you round for dinner. But you were 'busy'. And clearly neither suggested another date or bothered get in touch since April.

I think she sounds like a saint, and a decent friend. You sound like the sort of person people are better off without.

But if for some reason your friend or sister or whoever didn’t remind you, would it be then be their fault? Would you decide you’re not going to pay them because they should have reminded you?

Maybe she just thought that being an adult with a brain you wouldn't need reminding.

I think the reason you have posted OP is to get "validation" about why you should not pay back the £200.

You want to blame your friend for your failings.

You're quite blasé about the end of a 15 year friendship. I guess £200 is more important to you.

I think your friend is better served without you in her life.

Personally I'm quite the opposite.

I do not like owing money and pay it back asap if people buy tickets etc.

Most people do not like owing money, and most pay it back asap, you are not unique.

It's quite clear from your.messages and comments that you had no intention of paying and seems confused why you lost a friend. Clearly this woman is.down £200 and you made an agreement to pay, but then decided you couldn't afford it and blanked her instead of being honest
She may have been able to find someone else to go if you'd told her early enough. But the fact you state you can't afford to me pay her £200 now shows you never intended too. It's spineless behaviour and I'm.not surprised you e lost the friendship. If I was her if be filing a money claim online for the money. Grow some balls and pay her back, you owe her it whether you went or not, you avoided contact hoping she'd forget and clearly she didn't she went alone.

So you think it is OK for the OP to fail to pay her friend back, @Crazycrazylady? Maybe the friend has been left seriously short of cash by @abrabhf or maybe she hasn’t - either way, morally, she is owed £200, and @abrabhf has no excuse not to pay her, even if she has to do it in instalments.

I think it is wrong to decide that the friend is at fault, and clearly doesn’t need the money - you have no way of knowing this.

You owe her £200. She bought you a ticket which you haven't paid for,, do the right thing and pay her.

Exactly seems as if she got her to pay then fk off.

You are so very unreasonable OP and not just that but also entitled and cheeky. I can’t believe that you’ve actually started a thread about her ‘failure’ to ‘remind’ you when there is a much bigger issue at play. How absolutely horrible. You owe your friend £200, no excuses, and irrespective of whether the friendship is rightly in tatters. You can’t treat people like this. Cough up!

If a friend of mine was coming to a concert with me, I would remind her and say I still had the tickets and how much it cost. In this instance it could be the friend went with someone else and maybe feels bad that she did not go with you and this is why she is avoiding you.

I sort of give OP the benefit of the doubt and believe she forgot, especially as her contact with her friend was sporadic.

I think it's possible OP even wanted to forget.

I'm extremely generous with my family and sometimes promise them things that I then forget to give them. My family know me well enough to remind me, because they know all I need is a reminder and I'll sort it and I do remember 95% of the time.

However, OP's behaviour on the whole is not good. As soon as she remembered she should have been on the phone to her friend to apologise and reimburse her as a priority. And not inviting her friend to come to the event with her or suggesting another date for dinner was the icing on the cake.

Fifteen years of friendship down the drain, however you agreed to go the concert. If you had remembered the concert, you would have found the money to pay her. So I think you should still pay it or you may find you have even less friends when your friend tells others that you cannot be trusted to pay for things.

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Yes, I think the friend was hurt by OP not inviting her to come to the Feb event with her friends or suggesting an alternative date for the April dinner, so she decided OP didn't deserve to go to the gig.

You need to pay, even if in installments. Everyone can forget, but once you realised what had happened, you should have apologised profusely and immediately started paying back, even if it takes a year.

You're trying to blame her for your mistake, you should take responsibility and try to make this right.

Please do the right thing, pay back what you owe her!

Yes it was shitty to forget to pay her, and to forget the gig. It shows she is low importance to you.

But why didn't she say anything? Not even once? Of course she didn't have to but she literally cut her nose off to spite her face. It's like it was a test. If you cared you remember.

You owe her the money. Why would you not pay her? It’s not her fault you ‘forgot’ you owed her £200.

Every phone has a calendar with reminders. You have to pay the money back that you owe her.