To think friend should have reminded me?

[abrabhf]

Friend paid for hers and my ticket to see a recent gig, cost £200 each. These were bought months ago and I forgot about it, we also have barely spoken since purchase.

I never paid her back and now the gig has been and gone and she’s ignored my texts and calls.

Then you shouldn’t have asked her to book the ticket. Concerts are luxury pursuits. She shouldn’t have to pay for you. You’ve not been a good friend.🙄

Your idea of a budget needs improvement OP.

If you have so little savings that you can't afford £200 for a ticket then why would you be agree to go?

Unfortunately you are living far beyond your means.

A concert is really not a priority.

Mortified for you.

I haven't read the whole thread, just the first few posts and OP's replies.
I think you need to pay her back, in installments if need be, she did you a favour by getting you the ticket and is £200 out of pocket for doing so. You are an adult and shouldn't need to be reminded that you owe a friend money.
Also, I find it hard to believe that you like somebody enough to pay £200 for a ticket to see them and then you completely forget the date of that concert. I voted yabu.

I can’t afford to send her £200.

@abrabhf - really? then why did you agree to get a ticket and to pay her for it?

Is the position that you could afford £200 when you were getting a ticket for a gig but that now "can't afford it" because you don't want to pay it because you didn't go?

Or is it that you could never have afforded it? In which case why did you agree?

If you can't afford to send her £200, what makes you think that she can afford to sustain a loss of £200. Even for moderately well off people, £200 is a lot of money.

Either way you have behaved very badly. It's all a bit pathetic for an adult really.

Your friend bought the tickets, and you told her you needed to wait until payday and then you'd send her the money.

But by payday you 'forgot' that you owed her £200?

And now you're not going to reimburse her £200 because you can't afford it.

Do you not think you've been unreasonable?

I’m sure you wouldn’t have needed reminding if you had bought the tickets.

She bought them in December and you still hadn’t paid her by April? At which point you’d turned down a further two occasions she offered you to meet?

YABU

you need to find a way to pay her back the £200, even if it means in instalments, or by selling something to get the cash.

@Readinstead

”Also, I find it hard to believe that you like somebody enough to pay £200 for a ticket to see them and then you completely forget the date of that concert. I voted yabu.”

So true.

She presumably cannot believe you didn’t pay her for the ticket and expected her to chase.

She's not your PA. Get it together.

I wouldnt have reminded you if you didn’t bother paying me back either. She probably sold the ticket to someone else, its not like it was a cheap gig.

Just seen that you said she went on her own. Turned into a very expensive concert for her didn’t it. Especially as you don’t plan on paying for the ticket.

There’s more to it than that but I’m not going to post the entire message. 15 year friendship seems very much over. I can’t afford to send her £200.

She sounds like a pushover (or a martyr) who should have womaned-up and asked you for the money when it became clear you'd gone MIA 'forgot' to pay her.

You, on the other hand, have got more brass neck than the Tin Man - saying you can't 'afford' to pay her. 🙄 Hark at the sound of the world's teeniest 🎻.

Should have paid her at the time then, shouldn't you?

Do you know if she managed to sell the other ticket? I sincerely hope she managed to get her money back one way or another but the least you can do is offer to pay it back, even if its £10 a week, she should NOT be out of pocket. It doesn't matter that you 'can't afford' to give her £200. You owe it. End of. Find a way to pay her back.

On a second point, I'd be furious if you owed me £20, let alone £200, and you were going out and about with other friends before settling your debts. Priorities all wrong here.

Pay her back. I wouldn't be having any more 'treats'; takeaways, nights out, even a bottle of wine - every spare penny would go towards putting things right. Tighten your belt for a month or two.

So now what you want is everyone to agree she should have reminded you so you don't feel you owe her the £200.

You owe her the money. You wanted the ticket when she purchased it and were happy for her to be out of pocket until you got paid. You told her you would pay her. You knew when the concert was. She had no further obligation to you. You owe her. Your responsibility was to pay her.

Your cheekiness is off the scale really. You owe her £200 so regardless of whether you feel you can afford it or not, you need to pay her as she's out of pocket.

If you owe someone money, the onus is on you to remember to repay it. I'm honestly amazed that you're somewhat blaming her for not reminding you.

Her friendship is clearly not that important to you.

Did you suggest another date? Why is she having to do all the running… if my friend suggested two things I couldn’t do I would be making effort to arrange an alternative.

You’ve lost a 15 year old friendship not sure what she’s lost but it’s not a friend.

To be clear this is not about £200, your friendship is not ruined because of that. Your behaviour is the cause.

big up to her for going alone, and if she was in Stratford this weekend she would have had an amazing time without you.

Not fucking surprised!

This!

Pay the £200 that you owe her Op!

I can tell you what she's lost @DonnaDonna0 . £200!

😂 very true 😂

If you can’t afford to send her £200, how were you planning to pay for the gig?

Are you genuinely so self absorbed as to be confused why she’d not want to maintain a friendship with you any more when you cost her £200, still haven’t offered to reimburse her, clearly missed or ignored all prompts to even remember she existed let alone pay her back a significant amount of money and then have the audacity to suggest she’s at fault for not reminding you?

Youre a fully grown adult OP, pull yourself together and have a word. Use reminders or something. It’s completely unacceptable to behave like this.