Neighbour annoyed at me over her bins

[happyhippo1]

I happened to speak to my neighbour a couple of weeks ago and she mentioned that she was going on holiday and her daughter was staying at home (she looks to be late 20s).

She said to me that her daughter can be a bit lazy and not put the bin out and would I mind doing it for her. I explained that I’d add it to my list but my husband was working away, I was working in the office on the day the bins were put out so I’d be doing mine quickly and I’d have a quick check of hers while the kids were getting into the car in the morning.

anyway, I see the bin sitting outside her house on the morning of bin day so I jumped in the car and went to work.

when she came back from holiday she turned up on my door step furious that her bin hadn’t been put out. Turned out it was the neighbour’s binned positioned in front of her house.

I’d dialled off a work call to answer the door to her and I saw red tbh. I asked why her jobless daughter had a problem putting the bins out when she was sitting in the house.

she stormed off and I haven’t seen her since.

tbh I do feel a bit bad but there was a bin outside the house, unmarked with no house number. Was I to rifle through the bins for signs it was hers? Go to the door at 7am to ask the daughter if it was her bin? Enter her property to check on her bins?

why can’t people just do simple tasks?

It is her business if her neighbour is asking for a favour when she has a able bodied child loving with her.

My neighbour asked me would my son be able to do a bit of yard work for her as she feels its too much for her now.
Her HUSBAND is too busy at work and her son is at college. She said she would "slip" him a few bob.
I politely told her my son was too busy working his part time job during university, but that she really should be insisting the TWO MEN in her house help her.
By asking me for my son to help her, she made it my business to be able to comment, and I did!

And your point is?

Exactly what i just said, like what you (or your Husband said). "No - not possible, i wont be able to do it"?

It isnt any of a neighbours business there after to be concerned about what goes on behind closed doors - whether that be - putting out the bins, mowing the lawn etc etc.

@happyhippo1 i have a 22 year old daughter, she is neither lazy or ill.. but when we go away we have to remind her to put the bins out.. and feed the cats and bring the washing in.

we absolutely know she will simply forget to do it... she's working, studying a uni degree, exercising and having a social life.. the very last thing on her mind is if the bloody bin has gone out.

we have ring cctv, we use it mainly because my cats are my life and i stalk them when i am away (yes i know very very sad and boring but it is what it is) and if we see on said camera's that the bins not out, the washing isn't in then a quick text to remind.. if it gets done great, if it doesn't its no great shakes.

That’s great however, adults should be able to do simple tasks when they’re fit and able.

storming round to your neighbour’s house because your daughter is too lazy to do something is beyond my comprehension.

@happyhippo1 i agree... but don't make assumptions about her daughter..

I haven’t. She told me she was lazy.

@happyhippo1 Why should I have said “I’ll just put it out for her”?

the lazy arsed bone idle daughter needs to pick up some responsibilities.

... erm!

She did check. There was no way of her knowing, without entering the property, that it wasn't her bin.

What would you have done, out of interest?

Not sure what you mean.

if you refer to my OP you’ll see that the mother referred to her daughter as lazy.

@happyhippo1 yes, you mentioned in your opening thread.. however youve added your own judgement of said young adult..

the lazy arsed bone idle daughter needs to pick up some responsibilities.

its one thing for a parent to call their child lazy.. its another for someone else to do so!

You're coming across very aggressive.. you seem to have some 'beef' with said daughter. your anger should be directed at the neighbour who put you in this position in the first place, and has then since come stomping to your door having a go at you.

it seems to have all blown out of preportion.. you were asked to carry out a task for whatever reason, and you agreed, with conditions. by all accounts, you believed that the bin had in fact been put out, which i agree, i'd probably assume the same. and then the neighbour comes back from holiday has a go at you for not putting her bin out.. and you are angry at the daughter when you should be angry at the neighbour!

the lazy arsed bone idle daughter needs to pick up some responsibilities

entirely accurate.

The neighbour is an idiot. If you were her paid employee, she would have a right to reprimand you for not doing a job properly. But she asked a favour, and you made an understandable mistake. She has burnt her bridges with you now.

Her daughter should have done it, or “oh we’ll have to be for next time”. Never a neighbours fault, yes great if they can help but not a requirement.

Feel for you wfh, it’s not all roses and I know the feeling, doorbell, home phone etc all going off while you’re trying to work, well done for managing all that with bloomin bin requests.

This is laughable. Sorry but it is. Why the f**k should a neighbour do a task that next door’s lazy arse daughter won’t do?
I wonder how many quotes you will get 😃

Is Growlybear83 just winding people up/deliberately being provocative??

That's what I thought too?!🤣🤣

Yanbu at all! Bins can be put out the night before so no excuse for lazy daughter not to do it. You've got your hands full and did the check. Sounds like the neighbour needs to vent the same frustration on her DC rather than you. Xx

The only reason you've been unreasonable is because you said you'd do this for her & didn't. Then you made comments about her DD. She might have some sort of disability that you don't know about, or disorder.
I get why you got annoyed but you want to get on with your neighbour & now well you probably won't which is a long term pain.

OP, you’re absolutely right!

I must be an utter cow. I wouldn't even have entertained 'checking' I would have just said no. 🤣
It's not your fault they have not taught their daughter real normal life skills.

It’s official. People have lost their fucking minds over this thread. 😂

Even if OP had said "I will put the bin out" when she saw a bin outside the house it would be fair for her to think "Oh! The bin is already out". I certainly wouldn't expect the OP to go around the back of the house to check there's not another bin lurking!

Cop on. Neighbour is reaping the rewards of raising an entitled daughter. No way is this any of @happyhippo1's responsibility.

Who are the lunatic 3% who think the OP is being unreasonable?

Did you actually read OP post? There was a bin outside the house so she presumed the feckless dtr had done it.

its completely off the neighbour charged at the OP- she wasn’t under any contractual obligation to do this. Why are people so f***ing entitled?

I am with those who say at least you are free from future neighbourly requests- good riddance. And if she has the hard neck to ask anything again - the answer is no!

1. I said to the neighbour that I’d check and I did. Bin at bottom of drive unmarked - made a best efforts guess.

2. the daughter is lazy not disabled - I see her leaving for nights out in taxis done up to the 9s (good on her - we all deserve to go out) but definitely not too ill to put a bin out.

why does Mumsnet automatically jump to “she could be disabled…” if she was disabled then I wouldn’t have started a thread and I’d have probably offered to put the bins out. she is not disabled and I can’t keep saying it. Laziness exists!