Neighbour annoyed at me over her bins

[happyhippo1]

I happened to speak to my neighbour a couple of weeks ago and she mentioned that she was going on holiday and her daughter was staying at home (she looks to be late 20s).

She said to me that her daughter can be a bit lazy and not put the bin out and would I mind doing it for her. I explained that I’d add it to my list but my husband was working away, I was working in the office on the day the bins were put out so I’d be doing mine quickly and I’d have a quick check of hers while the kids were getting into the car in the morning.

anyway, I see the bin sitting outside her house on the morning of bin day so I jumped in the car and went to work.

when she came back from holiday she turned up on my door step furious that her bin hadn’t been put out. Turned out it was the neighbour’s binned positioned in front of her house.

I’d dialled off a work call to answer the door to her and I saw red tbh. I asked why her jobless daughter had a problem putting the bins out when she was sitting in the house.

she stormed off and I haven’t seen her since.

tbh I do feel a bit bad but there was a bin outside the house, unmarked with no house number. Was I to rifle through the bins for signs it was hers? Go to the door at 7am to ask the daughter if it was her bin? Enter her property to check on her bins?

why can’t people just do simple tasks?

She said to me that her daughter can be a bit lazy and not put the bin out and would I mind doing it for her.

Take it up with the mother. She gave no reason for asking her neighbour other than her daughter was lazy.

Lesson learned OP, if your neighbour can shamelessly farm out responsibility for a small domestic task because she's raised a child too lazy to do it then she was always going to make you responsible if it wasn't done.

She could have texted a reminder to her daughter whilst she was away.

They are her bins so it was up to her to sort them going out, she could’ve just asked op to put them out but to actually say her daughter is so useless she can’t put a bin out? I’d not have had the brass neck to admit that to a neighbour. It is just a bin, but there’s op managing the house, getting kids up for school and getting herself to work AND putting her own bin out, what else do you want her to do a circus performance she saw a bin assumed it was the daughter who put it out and went to work and likely forgot about it.

It's always someone else’s fault isn’t it, the neighbour chose to go on holiday therefore knowing she’d likely miss bin day, yet having a fully functioning daughter in the house asked her, but also had to ask a neighbour to check that said feckless daughter had performed a daily simple task (as some put it) she doesn’t work - op is working full time with kids yet still managed to put hers out but it’s still op’s fault neighbours daughter didn’t. Couldn’t make it up. I think most people would be happy to help others but the neighbour was wrong to blame op and should’ve directed the wrath to her lazy daughter!

Her attitude tells you exactly why her daughter is the way she is.

Of course YANBU. She is a rude and cheeky fecker, and her daughter is a useless lazy mare. I would ignore this woman from now on.

Good grief is it really so difficult to read a thread properly? Op YABU to agree to this in the first place. I would have laughed in her face.

Another one with reading/comprehension skills.

Then the daughter should’ve put it out…it only takes a couple of minutes after all.

There was a black bin outside the op thought it was the neighbours , how was the op supposed to know it was not.
Would love to know what some of the posters think the op should have done to identify the bin-
tipped it out and tried to find a letter with an address?
ring the door bell and check with lazy daughter if she had put the bin out?

But she is idle and lazy. Why are we not allowed to call people what they are anymore? Some people are just shit, it's ok to point that out. There's a world of difference between being nice and being a social doormat.

As you say, IT'S A BIN!!! So why precisely could the able bodied, jobless 20 something year old not take it out if it's oh so simple?

@tuvamoodyson Yes, ideally the daughter should have put the bin out but the neighbour asked the OP if she would check it was out out on collection day and the OP AGREED but then assumed that the bin she saw outside belonged to that neighbour and not someone else. If she had checked as she agreed to, the bin would have been collected. If the OP had said she wasn't prepared to do this, then maybe the neighbour would have messaged her daughter until she put the bin out, but having been told that the OP would do it, perhaps she didn't see the need to do so.

Define "checked"

Most people would say that means " have a glance that the bin is out"
Not call on the woman and double check , or count bins in the street

Unfortunate but OP did as much as I would have

You’re not answering my question.

How should I have checked? Given there was a bin outside….

interested to hear.

The OP has already covered this. There was a bin outside the neighbour's house. How could the OP have checked it was not the correct bin?

She’s not perfectly capable because she didn’t bloody do it, just as the neighbour predicted, hence why she asked the favour.

Why the daughter isn’t capable none of us know, forgetful, unwell, bone idle, who knows? Either way THAT’S why she asked for the favour.

Tbh that would have been a no from me rather than a yes but maybe not.

Do it or don't!

I may have been tempted to leave my finger on the doorbell early in the morning until the daughter answered and then said "Don't forget to put the bin out"

The neighbour said her daughter was lazy.

Bloody hell, if my adult daughter was too lazy to put out her own bin, I wouldn’t be advertising the fact or asking for help, I’d be cringing at the lazy cow I’d raised!

None of us are familiar with the layout of your neighbour’s property, but here are a few options.

1. Knock on neighbours door and speak to daughter. Hi Amy, I’m Sally from next door, just checking you’ve put the bin out for your Mum, she asked me to do it? No? Right I’ll do it now. You getting on ok with your Mum away? Give us a shout if you need us.
2. Enter property via garden gate and look to see if bin has been put out. No? Put it out.

What? Have you gone mad?

• knock on someone’s door at 7am to ask them if they put their bins out?

• creep into their garden at 7am to check their bins, leaving my kids in the car?

No. Way

She asked you to check.
You did
If she wanted to lose the plot at anyone it should be her daughter who was asked to put them out and didn’t bother.

oh dear.. to be honest, perhaps in hindsight, knowing that the daughter would be at home, i'd have said, no! then it would have been down to the neighbour to nudge her daughter the night before.

i wonder if there's a bit more to this story we are not aware of, i know i certainly would not knock on a neighbours door unless i got on really well with them and ask them to put my bins out?

on our street we all look out for each other, we wait for the old folk to put theirs out first, only cos then we know which bin needs to go out.. its chaos when they go on holiday cos no one knows what colour bin goes where.. and if we see a neighbour hasn't put theirs out (a lot of our neighbours because of the layout of the houses keep their bins at the front... i personally hate it, but each to their own). and then, depending on if the bin cleaner is due (he comes every 4 weeks to clean the grey bins) we will take in other peoples bins..

but its not expected.

I reckon the neighbor said "lazy" to avoid disclosing more; and the daughter is unwell, depressed something like that. Either way I think it's a case of miscommunication. OP replied basically a polite "no" - "I will look if bin is there but do no more" and neighbor understand "OP will make sure bin is taken out".

Oh, come off it.

It's quite obvious you're deliberately picking a fight here.

No one in their right mind is going to go out of their way to check to see if a bin that has been put outside of the neighbour's house is actually the neighbours bin. It would be an easy and obvious assumption to make.

The neighbour should be having a go at her lazy, do-nothing daughter and leave OP alone.

But she is idle and lazy if the daughter can't wheel her own damn bin to the end of the path, isn't she? Sans a medical condition (which the OP states she does not have and the neighbour has been honest that her daughter is lazy) there's no excuse for the daughter to not put the bin out.

Incredible that there are people who think it's not ok for the OP (who has zero to do with the neighbour's bins) to not put the bin out (despite there being a bin in front of the house-which she thought was the bin) but it's absolutely ok and not bone idle of the daughter to not put the bin out.

The hoops some people on here will jump through just to pick a bunfight because no one is genuinely this stupid.