Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

The kids are plenty big enough to cope, and tbh the 16 year old is big enough to stay home for the day if he doesn’t fancy it

is it really about the kids do you think or something else?

YANBU

perfectly doable and lovely of you

Maybe something else then. She said they will be tired and grumpy by mid morning and will spoil the trip.

I had thought of doing something just her and me - but figured we don’t have much time left with the 16 year old and he doesn’t spend much time with the family as it is - he’s a great kid just growing up.

The 12 year old would have to come regardless as her dad is working away most of the summer, and there is no one to look after her.

Maybe a surprise trip (even just a day) was me taking too much control. She can be quite anxious and likes to be in control.

She’s being ridiculous - I thought you were going to say the kids were toddlers, not 12 and 16! They’ll be fine.

Personally I’d either go alone or find someone else to take the ticket.

I’m sure it’ll be fine but perhaps she just doesn’t enjoy early starts?

12 and 16?

They could cope!

Granted it was without the flights but with a couple hours drive and train journey but this was nearly the same length day in London as I did for my 16th!

They can sleep on the plane

I thought you were going to say her children were baby in buggy and a 5yr old

She's using her children as an excuse not to go.

Hopefully she'll change her mind.

Have you told the children about it,surely they'll be excited.

I think that’s an odd present to get for someone, actually booking it without discussing first! Especially to include their kids. Some people would think it’s exciting, plenty would just see a long day that they don’t want to do. Why would a 16 & 12yo not be OK home alone together for a day though?

Well either go alone or ask the kids if they want to come with you. Your sister gets a day of peace and quiet.

I don’t love surprises (like I wouldn’t want to flnd out this had been booked for me in the next 2 days) but I expect the kids would love to do this. Could she be annoyed that she didn’t think to do something so spontaneous and fun with them?

As others said if the 16 year old doesn’t want to make an exception and get up early to go to London then they can stay home but I’d think it’s worth getting up for. I love London, don’t go very often now but this thread is making me want to book a trip.

Could she "just" be exhausted? Saying the kids won't cope can be code for I don't think I can cope with that.

Personally I'd be ok with a longer trip but not with such a long day.

Ridiculous I thought you'd say they were under 5.
Those ages and times are fine for a lovely day trip. Sleep in all the day after.

This sounds like one of those “treats” that’s something that the donor wants to do with no thought about what the recipient would actually enjoy.

Though I do agree with @Testina I wouldn’t book it without asking as apart from anything the person may have other plans.

Sorry but your sister is being weird. Kids of that age would love the trip.

I'd be a bit annoyed tbh, hate long days and surprises

12 and 16?!
My original comment before getting to that was going to be
"Lovely thought from you, but little kids can be hard work and it is a really long day for them, mine would have been overtired and really cranky at that long a day which will be full of sightseeing etc. She shouldn't be cross though, sounds ungrateful."

Then got to that bit and it's

"12 and 16?! They're old enough to have grown out of naps, and if they need one can nap on the way there somehow.
At that age they're usually perfectly capable of enjoying a day out.

Okay maybe an mis fired! It’s not until July - so I have some time to reassess. The kids don’t know yet so i can tell her no pressure - I will go and she is more than welcome to come as are the kids but if not no hard feelings.

I think the kids would be up for it - they have been before and loved it. But I don’t think she would let me take them alone.

I was really struggling for a gift this year and thought an experience rather than a thing would be good! Oops

That's a good point though, should never book without asking first as you don't know what they've got on already.

Not going to lie… I wouldn’t like this as a surprise.

I live in Yorkshire and even I wouldn’t do London in 1 day there and back. I’d at least do overnight in a hotel.

But if I was in your sisters shoes and someone had booked and bought it for me I’d just grin and bear it, I wouldn’t complain. She sounds a bit mean if she’s openly angry with you. First world problems and all.

I get this bit in my defence we used to this loads before the kids and she loved it. She booked similar for me for my thirtieths - granted no kids!

You booked non refundable flights for everyone without even checking first? What were you thinking?!

I do know she has nothing on as she was asking me for ideas and saying we couldn’t stay anywhere overnight because of the dog. So there was a rough plan for a day trip that week in July - just somewhere local. That’s what gave me the idea.

I maybe got over excited though.

Many moons ago 8 of us went to Paris from London for a day. It was girls only, no children (only couple of us had them then) and it was fabulous! It is totally doable. We took first Eurostar and came back late eve.
Lovely present, although, I would leave kids at home at those ages, tbh.

Maybe it felt to her like it's rubbing it in that she's no longer footloose and fancy free?
I think she's probably worn out and could do without the stress. If the kids aren't early risers she'll be up super early prompting and coaxing and nagging them out the door. Would set me up for a super tiring day, without any emotionalenergy left for fun and excitement.

I might be going alone then! It’s not the end of the world and lesson learnt.