Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

Of course people visit other countries for the day! I have visited Edinburgh for the days many times for example. I lived in Belfast for a while and the flight was really short.

people do day trips all the time. Over biggish distances.

I lived in Canada for a while in my twenties and my we covered huge distances. the UK and Ireland are tiny.

I know lots of people who have done a day trip to Lapland. That’s a three hour flight and even I would draw the line at that. But the flight to London is about an hour. Not for everyone I know - but I can leave my house and be in London in less than three three hours - including waiting times in airport, and travel into the city. A nice glass of wine on the flight home is very relaxing😊

Her husband is out of town. Grandparents are not available.

Which means when she gets home, after a long day, she is the only one to care for the kids. And while she will be satisfied, she will be tired.

That is why she is re-considering. She already knows all of the parenting will fall on her shoulders when she gets home.

That is precisely why I do not go out... the next day is a horror.

the kids will just sleep the next day and watch tv. We can get takeout to save cooking. At their age they don’t need much childcare. Had my parents been in the country they would have gone round to help with two teenagers who will be in bed.

I hope you all have a great time. Has your sister considered she might be perimenopausal?

?! As a mother of a 13 and a 15 year olds- they will be fine!!!! The kids will love it and wouldn’t care that it is a long day. I think it’s your sister who has the problem. Sorry 😞

It's her DH who can't be arsed doing anything and leaves everything to her. May be he's peri? At least that would give him an excuse for being an arse.

I think she has just realised my BIL is a bit of an arse. He live his life, does what he pleases and she does everything for the kids while working full time.

Ireland is a challenging place to be woman. My parents think he is amazing because he occasionally spends time with the kids.

I don’t want to start the whole female hormones stuff. She is awesome- works full time and pretty ouch raises two kids on her own while he travels the world and doesn’t even ask if everything at home is hand.

it’s a day trip. I thought it would be nice. The kids both know now and are supper excited. I have sod I can take them and she can have a day alone but she wants to come.

Oh wow that’s given me the rage. I hope she divorces him.

he has been part of my family for 30 years and I di love him. But I also see my sisters sacrifices while his life is not impacted at all by having children.

I am very conscious that I am the single career driven heartless spirit buster aunt😂. But I do try and bring fun where I can. And to be honest my sister normally appreciates sudden holidays. We took the kids to euro Disney - my Christmas o present many years ago. The kids loved it - I hated every minute😂. But tejn years later my nephew still remembers it. His dad was working.

Your BIL is a wanker, but I fail to see what this has to do with Ireland. The Mn bad husbands he resembles are overwhelmingly British.

Of course they do. I have just booked a day trip to Barcelona after being inspired by a comment on this thread

You should encourage her to book at least a week holiday, but ideally two weeks and in term time. Careful that you haven’t absorbed some of this Irish attitude you mention- he will cope fine and there is no reason she shouldn’t do it, so why do you assume she won’t follow through? make sure you say something to your parents too, about the sun doesn’t shine out of a man because he knows his kids names and actually he’s a bit of an arse and their daughter has had a rough deal for a long time.

There is no ‘Irish attitude’, any more than (one hopes), the hapless, strategically-incompetent, chronically-unfaithful, or malicious fuckwits so often described on the Mn relationships board are an accurate representation of British masculinity.

I love your can-do attitude, and I think you will open your sister’s (and BIL’s) eyes. Out of Dublin, I took the kids to Thomas Land for a day trip, into Birmingham. Saved a fortune by not staying over. It was a Grand Day Out. Everyone was tired the next day, and it turned out that TL is a bit shit in the rain, especially if you arrive before the park even opens (thanks, Red-eye scheduling) but it was a super and memorable day trip.

I’m on board with that! But the op thinks there is, and my post is to her.

Why is the plan all so rushed "because of her dog"? It seems logical to include a dog-sitter overnight (perhaps the brother who is already lined up to walk the dog), then you travellers can take the pressure off and stay overnight, and actually have a better chance to relax and enjoy your break.

i thought you were going to say the kids are under 5!! In which case I’d have agreed it’s too much for the kids - however at their age it sounds like a fab day out!

YANBTA!!

I think you've tried to be spontaneous and sad that it's come to this. If she is stalling would the kids want to just go with you? Your sisters birthday treat can then be to have the whole day to herself to do what she likes? Saves wasting it all then.

Would it occur to you to scan OP's updates?

Have a look at the Facebook group Extreme Day Trips, people fly all over for one day trips! This is mild compared to most of them.

Yes, I live vicariously through that group 😁

I’ve just caught up! So glad you’re all going! Funny that the gang on mums net were all saying it’s too much for kids and you were being unreasonable when all along it was as your sister was planning a two week hol with you. I love this - shows what a special bond you both have.

When I was reading this I was all for YABU as I thought the kids must be babies/small children, as if they don’t get enough sleep at the right times their world implodes, as does that of everyone else around them! For this to be about a 16 and 12 year old though?? Either she babies them, or there’s something else going on here

Edit: never mind, I just saw all of your updates!

Woe is me I've forgotten to click on the last page. No need to be a rude arse about it....

No need either to be ignorant and not read ALL the OP's post. Makes very frustrating reading for those of us who do bother